Time for a flippant flight of fancy - it's August, this heatwave "Scorchio" summer has given way to storms, the Knavesmire, which sits on a glacial plate (or something, I was told but my attention span isn't all that when things get academic) has reverted to the utter kip recovered marshland that leaves bookies struggling to carry their bulging satchels back to the car park after sets of results the late William Hill could only dream of.
Sussex Stakes winner Field Of Gold ain't staying 10.5f in the proverbial horsebox on that.
Delacroix (or "Del Boy" the "Dude" to his besotted fan club, who are having t-shirts printed as we speak) might swerve the race altogether - he's already won his Group 1 at the trip.
Calandagan is a ponce (source: Slim).
Ombudsman needs it like a road and will hate the ground the most in the entire field.
So who will win it?
Well, Ballydoyle, obviously, they don't let Group 1s at this trip go begging.
Enter Lambourn, fresh from his King George triumph, evoking memories of Galileo.
But being an intelligent animal, Lambourn has instead been reading a book about Troy (the horse, not the place Brad Pitt minced his way round on a chariot while doing the worst impression of Achilles in living memory) who went to York and emerged triumphant after winning at Epsom, The Curragh and Ascot.
This is Lambourn's big chance to secure his future as a Flat stallion (rather than actually damage his stud value and end up siring Sedgefield winners by going to Doncaster - they've got Scandinavia for the Town Moor gig now).
Ryan Moore sets the fractions and in that ground Lambourn's got them all in trouble two furlongs out and he's the only one still capable of forward motion by the furlong pole.
The 25/1 tonight might look rather good at that juncture.
Or it will be a road, Lambourn won't even run and the grey will get home and win to squeals of "The New Frankel!" from the My Little Pony brigade.
