It's Friday evening and it's time for what, lets face it, you've all been waiting for, Your Favourite Uncle Smart Arse's definitive guide to Champions' Day at Ascot tomorrow.
12.55: Trawlerman clocked 4m 15s when winning the Gold Cup, that's 12.75s per furlong. Very few horses truly stay a strongly-run 2m4f on the Flat and he bounced off the ground to pulverise them. Won't be that much slower going tomorrow either. Ridden for stamina again, there is no reason why he shouldn't win.
1.30: Words Of Truth has been uneasy in the betting tonight. The Mill Reef winner faces quicker ground tomorrow and one interpretation of his pedigree suggests it might be an issue. But his sire actually does ok with his progeny on the quick and I still think this colt sets a tough bar for the rest.
2.05: Lazzat ran a few pounds below par at Deauville and, though backed as if defeat was impossible, was possibly undone by the draw at Haydock Park. But if he returns to his course and distance Royal Ascot form all the media aftertimers will be asking how he could ever have been 4/1 and better after he makes short work of this shower.
2.45: Kalpana has done a passable impression of a bridle ponce at times, but I'm not sure anything here can get her off the bit and 3/1 isn't unfair about last year's winner and this year's King George runner up, who didn't run too badly in the Arc.
3.25: Field Of Gold was reported to be lame after disappointing when one of several given too much to do in the Sussex. He's only won against his own age group thus far, but now he's out to 2/1 he's not unfairly priced. But Fallen Angel, circa 10s on the machine just now, is in the form of her life and shouldn't be underestimated.
4.05: Ombudsman, winner over course and distance at Royal Ascot and at York, ought to scupper my burgled 16/1 Delacroix ante-post.
4.40: When Arisaig wins the last, I recommend taking a vacation from the forum as the YFUSA celebrations are long-odds on to reach new levels of narcissistic depravity. Only an act of God can stop her. Cerulean Bay, Bopedro, Bobby Benu and Witch Hunter all have prospects of making the extended places.
Time was when I'd have been there tomorrow and at Kempton Park on Sunday.
This weekend I shall be at neither - I will instead be getting a load of good food and drink in and having back-to-back picnic virtual days at the races within the confines of my Hampshire Fastness.
Good luck tomorrow, everyone!