10 Uses For An Unwanted England Flag

Merlin the Magician

Merlin the Magician

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:o 10 uses for an unwanted England flag

Millions of England fans are waking up to unwanted flags on houses and cars. A few suggestions on what to do with them.

1. Use them to dry your eyes. Despite most flags being made from synthetic materials, typically woven polyester, some of them can be absorbent enough for your most lachrymose moments.

2. Continue to display your England flag with pride (part I). If anybody asks, point out England are still in the competition, Saturday was all just a bad dream, lightning never strikes so many times, it's going to be an England v Germany final. Place hands over ears and repeat "naa naa naa, I can't hear

3. If you're a Sun reader you could consider using the flags as stuffing for an effigy of the newly-crowned "least popular man in the Premiership" Cristiano Ronaldo. Don't burn it though as some polyester can give off pollutants.

4. Recycle it. Some polyester fibre can be recycled effectively.

5. Return them to China. They made them.

6. If you know anyone who's a dab hand with a sewing machine why not consider turning the flags into clothing and shipping them out to developing countries.

7. Bleach flag, convert into cross of St Andrew, get behind Andrew Murray. There isn't a single French, German, Portuguese or Italian player left in the men's singles at Wimbledon. So frankly, who cares about the World Cup. (Correct at time of going to press).

8. Continue to display your England flag with pride (part II). England kick off the World Lacrosse championships on 14 July. Best of all the tournament is being held in London (Ontario). Come on England.

9. Try and get a refund or exchange. The Trade Descriptions Act 1968 makes it an offence for a trader to knowingly or recklessly make misleading statements about services. Any flag trader who suggested England enjoyed a vague chance of actually winning the thing should surely feel obliged to offer you at least a France flag in exchange.

10. Save them for next time. Euro 2008 is in Switzerland and Austria. With David Beckham likely to head off to spend more time with his hair, England might really have a chance of winning. There's only 705 days to go.... :P :D
 
I dont understand this hatred against C Ronaldo. It is far too much, what he did he really do??? That wink to his manager could be about anything!! Not job done because Rooney has been send off.

All the criticism is unjustified in my opinion.
 
I was going to post something in similar vein, Will, but held off as I'm not English and people on here know where I stand.

Ronaldo didn't stamp on Carvalho's nuts. The wink could have been for anything. I remember seeing Celtic's Alan Thomson winking at the bench when Celtic were in total control over Rangers. There was no smile or other emotion in his face. It was as if someone had relayed a message to him and he was letting them know he'd got it.

Ronaldo doesn't do himself credit with his diving but he's no worse than a lot of other players - certainly no worse than Thierry Henry, Arjen Robben, or, dare I say, Michael Owen.

(At this point, I suppose I have to appease some tiny-minds by saying I was very sorry to see Owen hurt. In fact, when he went down, my first words to my wife were, "That poor wee guy's finished.")
 
Emily conned me into buying a flag in Tesco yesterday as they were reduced to 10p. We'll put it somewhere safe until it's required.
 
Watching Ronaldo cry yesterday when Portugal were knocked out of The World Cup evidently pleased alot of people.... or was it just me. :)
 
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