Advice You Don't Need

rorydelargy

rorydelargy

At the Start
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
3,806
Location
London
My mum called me last week, bless her. Ever since she dreamt about Royal Tan winning the Grand National back in the early '50s, she's been convinced that she has the gift of second sight, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.

Anyway, mater phoned me up and, apropos of nothing, said she had an idea. Why didn't I, she enquired, carry around with me a little piece of paper with the address and phone number of my nearest and dearest on it, you know, just in case. Well thanks a bunch, ma! <_< Crossing the road has never been so fraught since.

Am I alone in this unfortunate situation?
 
On the subject of family difficulties. My daughter is studying nursing. She has a paper due that needs to be 2000 words. She has written 2450 and has asked me to proof and remove 400 words.

The subject is "Constipation in the Older Client."

If anybody needs any advice on this matter please PM me. I know so much about it I could flush the Panama Canal.
 
One of the few delights left to the seriously aged, it seems, are prolonged monologues on their bowels - regularity of movements, size, colour, difficulty in extruding, attendant flatulence, and whether laxative assistance was required. I have begged my dear Mama to give me a little peace on it, but she just rather bizarrely reminds me of the times I used to tell her about my horses' state of poo, as if these accounts require detailed retribution, decades later.
 
Kri
The more I read about your mum the more I think I should have shacked up with her. Now, if I were your step dad, moderator or not,.........
 
Originally posted by krizon@Apr 29 2006, 07:03 PM
One of the few delights left to the seriously aged, it seems, are prolonged monologues on their bowels - regularity of movements, size, colour, difficulty in extruding, attendant flatulence, and whether laxative assistance was required. I have begged my dear Mama to give me a little peace on it, but she just rather bizarrely reminds me of the times I used to tell her about my horses' state of poo, as if these accounts require detailed retribution, decades later.
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Sounds like a load of sh*te to me.

I always presumed everyone was told to make sure they wore clean underpants "because you might get run down by a bus and you don't want to be embarrassed when you get to the hospital."

I always presumed if you were unfortunate enough to see the bus coming it wouldn't matter a jot, and if you didn't you'd be too dead to be embarrassed, so why bother.
 
Originally posted by Maurice@Apr 30 2006, 07:54 PM
I always presumed everyone was told to make sure they wore clean underpants "because you might get run down by a bus and you don't want to be embarrassed when you get to the hospital."

I always presumed if you were unfortunate enough to see the bus coming it wouldn't matter a jot, and if you didn't you'd be too dead to be embarrassed, so why bother.
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There's also the irony of having perfectly pristine keks mere seconds before the fatal incident......
 
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