trudij
Senior Jockey
"An airliner was taking off from New York's Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom:
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight. Now sit back and relax... OH MY GOD!'
Then there was silence. Afterwards, the captian came back on the intercom and said: 'Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!'
One passenger then remarked, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!."
and
What A Flight
Passengers on a plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance
opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both
are wearing dark glasses. One is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other
is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the
cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start. The passengers begin
glancing nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little
practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, people at the windows
realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the
airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off and that it
will plow into the water, screams of panic fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. Up in the
cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one
of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die.
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight. Now sit back and relax... OH MY GOD!'
Then there was silence. Afterwards, the captian came back on the intercom and said: 'Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!'
One passenger then remarked, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!."
and
What A Flight
Passengers on a plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance
opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both
are wearing dark glasses. One is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other
is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the
cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start. The passengers begin
glancing nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little
practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, people at the windows
realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the
airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off and that it
will plow into the water, screams of panic fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. Up in the
cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one
of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die.
