Alcoholism

H

Homer J

At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
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496
"A disorder characterized by the excessive consumption of and dependence on alcoholic beverages, leading to physical and psychological harm and impaired social and vocational functioning. Also called alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence."

I looked this up after a weekend bender with a friend, who I am sad to report is without doubt an alcoholic. The chances of him admitting to this, even if it were put to him with the incontrovertible evidence, is available to back on BF at 1000.
 
Not really - though that Homer felt the need to go on a weekend bender along with his allegedly alcoholic mate probably raises questions about his own lifestyle....
 
I can't really comment seeing as I've spent every night for roughly the past 10 days imbibing various types of alcohol....
 
I remember asking my father was our former next door neighbour an alco.The old man got fairly narky and asked me did he sell his furniture for drink,when I said no he said well he isn't an alco then.
The term alcoholic is considered to be rude with the drinking classes in my area -the preferred term is "seasoned drinker".
 
Surely the key phrase is 'dependence on'? There are few of us, who aren't teetotal, who haven't slid from 'just one more' to falling to the floor, sleeping in a stranger's flat/car/bed/garden, or even managing to get home with no recollection, on waking, of the past 12 hours? The occasional smasheroonie doesn't mean that we are or were alkies. Neither does short-term heavyish drinking following a personal disaster make us alcoholics - just temporarily numbing the nastiness of whatever's occurred.

It's when you can't face the day without a drink or three, or go out in the evening without the aim of getting rat-arsed, again and again, that you have a dependency, as much as anyone on cigarettes, long-term prescription drugs or the naughtier ones.

As for trying to get those affected to recognize that they have a problem, it's probably best, first of all, not to emulate them and thus support their activity. Most of them lose their chums, their family, their jobs, their homes, and finally their health if they don't have the WILL to give up. You won't be able to shame them, frighten them, or bribe them into stopping, because chemical imbalances have occurred in their body's system which now make them crave alcohol in the way that a heavy smoker craves nicotine, or a user craves heroin. There's sometimes an underlying problem behind alcoholism which needs addressing - but sometimes they're nice, middle-class professionals with lovely families and big houses, and no real hang-ups. Some people seem to be very susceptible to certain substances, and alcohol is just one of a variety.
 
I'm TT Krizon and my wifes boss once asked me what I do to enjoy myself <_<

I find being teetotal is a social handicap but whoever cannot accept my lifestyle has a problem not me.
 
You're absolutely right, Lee. I've always been a non-smoker, but I keep ashtrays around for any friends who might like to light up - it is amazing now how many have given up the weed, though! I would also always make sure that any veggie pals who are visiting are taken to restaurants where good veggie dishes are available, too. There's just no need for people to make smart-arse remarks about other people's preferences, is there? I have an odd drink on social occasions now, or wine with a meal out with pals. I maybe have a drink by myself once or twice a year!

I don't think you can do anything for friends who are heading off the rails with drink or drugs, though. I think a 'tough love' stance is best, in that you'll see them, go out with them up to a point, but not go along with them once they start to go too far. A friend of mine 'rescued' his best mate several times from drugs overdoses, until one day he just said 'I'm not going to keep doing this for you', and his pal decided that the friendship was worth more than the heroin habit, and went into rehab. It lasted for several years, but foolishly - and after becoming a very good drugs counsellor - he had a hit one night which overwhelmed his now clean system and died in his 30's. You can only do so much, and go so far, then it's really every man for himself.
 
'Alcoholism' is a much over used word, variously deployed to cover any number of conditions inaccurately. To kick it, you need to genuinely want to. Otherwise it will stalk the sufferer throughout their life, and never really leaves a person. The best you can hope to do, is to understand it and learn what triggers it in people, and how to minimise your contact with such situations if trying to cut down etc (which does of course make one sweeping assumption :lol: ) 1 day at a time, 2 days at a time, 1 week at a time etc Ultimately a human body is not designed to take the hammering that a chronic alcoholic gives it, and eventually it kills you - pure and simple. In truth though, it will have inwardly killed someone a long time before they finally do die through it. It invariably involves a lot of false starts, and most people ultimately fail, but some people can get through it, or learn to manage it.

I always get a bit twitchy about people who describe themselves or others as alki's though, when in reality what they're really describing is being pissed.
 
Originally posted by PDJ@Aug 23 2006, 08:09 PM
I don't let anyone smoke in my house. They can stand in the rain! :P
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I feel awful admitting it, but even my Mum had to smoke outside my house - she was always very understanding though - even when it was raining!. :) I cannot stand the smell and it use to trigger my migraines, so I always felt it was preserving my health if all smokers kept their distance from me.
 
Originally posted by Homer J@Aug 23 2006, 11:43 AM
I looked this up after a weekend bender with a friend, who I am sad to report is without doubt an alcoholic. The chances of him admitting to this, even if it were put to him with the incontrovertible evidence, is available to back on BF at 1000.
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I think when homer says "a friend" he means it as in "a friend of mine was wondering what number's the lesbian channel".

He spent the weekend alone IMO
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Originally posted by Honest Tom@Aug 23 2006, 10:17 PM
He spent the weekend alone IMO
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:unsure:

Seriously, not true, though I wasn't far behind my pal, but his behaviour was on a different level.
 
Originally posted by krizon@Aug 23 2006, 07:13 PM
Surely the key phrase is 'dependence on'?
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I disagree Kri.

My pal will not drink for a week now and (unlike me) never drinks at home. He is a classic binge drinker though. On a lads weekend he will start on a Fri and be drunk solidly til the Sun/Mon or whenever the weekend ends. He will get little or no sleep - last man to bed and first man up, though still half cut. His social functioning and interaction becomes an embarrassment (though he doesn't realise it) at the tail end of the binge.

That to me is someone who is arguably not 'dependent on' alcohol, but has a real problem with it, which to my mind makes him an alcoholic. It also has a very serious impact on how others view him.
 
I suggest you write a strongly-worded rebuttal to your dictionary's publisher, then, Homer, since it is they, not me, who've decided upon the definition.
 
Maybe alcoholism is not the technically correct word, but I do know what Homer means. I have at least one friend that would not crave alcohol on a daily basis, but "a good night out" doesn't count unless it involves drinking to the point of memory blackouts (which conveniently tend to start from the point when the anti-social behaviour kicks in - a particular Simpson's episode springs to mind). Despite this behaviour leading to serious enough trouble at work, within the social circle and family, and despite acknowledging the health implications, it continues unabated.

Possibly it is a level of dependence which only kicks in in certain situations?
 
Originally posted by Melendez@Aug 24 2006, 11:52 AM


Possibly it is a level of dependence which only kicks in in certain situations?
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I think that is right. When at home or going about his job, the last thing on his mind is the need for a drink. However, when on a bender he drinks himself into oblivion, and becomes an embarrassment. He is also getting worse with age.

I suppose the question is whether a binge drinker can be an alcoholic. I think one can be.
 
Originally posted by Homer J+Aug 24 2006, 11:21 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Homer J @ Aug 24 2006, 11:21 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-krizon@Aug 23 2006, 07:13 PM
Surely the key phrase is 'dependence on'?
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I disagree Kri.

My pal will not drink for a week now and (unlike me) never drinks at home. He is a classic binge drinker though. On a lads weekend he will start on a Fri and be drunk solidly til the Sun/Mon or whenever the weekend ends. He will get little or no sleep - last man to bed and first man up, though still half cut. His social functioning and interaction becomes an embarrassment (though he doesn't realise it) at the tail end of the binge.

That to me is someone who is arguably not 'dependent on' alcohol, but has a real problem with it, which to my mind makes him an alcoholic. It also has a very serious impact on how others view him. [/b][/quote]
The medical definition of alcoholism recognises more than one type of dependence; and binge drinking is right up there.

My ex husband was one of those types of alky - he was on the dry when I met him and had been for several months; but when he went on a bender as we returned to England - we met in the Languedoc - it was truly terrifying. We stayed at his brother's, who threw him out, which shocked him into sobering up; then he went on two or three more benders when we were back in London. I had to lock up not just the booze but all the money - otherwise he'd drink non-stocp inc all night until everything was gone, and every last penny was spent. After 3 months I told him it was the booze or me, and to his credit he gave up, and stuck to that for six years. But he had an 'addictive personality' and later would do just the same with dope - at least he grew his own so it didn't have financial implications B)

Then you get alcoholics like Jeffrey Bernard, who functioned perfectly well before opening time - he wrote his journalism in the early mornings - but was always totally stocious by 7pm - often earlier. He never ever went a day without drink, ie getting drunk. Neither did my mother... and both of them would get steadily more agressive as the day proceeded.

I've another very old friend who is a tour guide - he takes very rich Americans all ov erht e world and handles incredibly complex itineraries in difficult parts of the world, for very demanding employers and clients. he never drinks, having nearly died of pancreatitis 20 years ago. But when not on tour, he's almost daily bombed on coke. he can't handle any social situation without it! It makes him ill, it makes many of his friends very cross - I can't bear the furtiveness of it all, and the attendant paranoia - and it costs an absolute bomb. He doesn't need the stuff to function - so why does he do it??

I love a drink and I love pubs and bars; and I do tend to be compulsive - ie two never seems quite enough... But I never, or almost never, drink at home on my own - that would be the thin end of a very thick wedge! And it's very important to give the body a rest.
 
Thanks for that Headstrong. Very interesting. How did your ex end up (if you don't mind me asking)?

I totally understand people who say that to drink at home on one's own is a slippery slope. Personally I do drink at home on my own, though rarely get drunk - i.e. a beer or half a bottle of wine with dinner. I haven't had a drink this week since Monday (i.e. 3 days) and won't have one til Sunday, which is probably the longest I have been dry in 10 years. No particular reason for it, just felt like a rest from it and started this thread as a result of that as well as as a consequence of seeing my pal in ribbons after the weekend.
 
I don't know where the ex is now Homer - I've never been one for hanging around: when it's over, it's over! - and if 'he' made me very angry, I never want to see the b@stard again... So I've kept in touch with very few of the exes over my life, and therehave been a few... [he was the only one I married btw - big mistake!]

As we separated he seduced the virgin 19 year old daughter of our greatest friends - we were living in Italy at the time [they were English too]. I thought this was appalling as she was so young, and quite naive... She'd got some compensation money from an accident; and as I heard it on the grapevine the relationship ended after a year or two - ie when all the dosh was gone! We had a house in France still when we split up, most of which I'd paid for, and which was still largely unrestored; he said he'd made his share over to me, but he hadn't. It was a big fight, getting him to sign the papers for the sale... I had to pay him something to do it in the end! And we lost a packet on it anyway. All his family [sister and two brothers] are solicitors btw, which is probably one reason I dislike the breed intensely - they wound him up to fight over the money, even tho they knew what he'd been like on the booze, and how I'd changed him. i don;t think he even had a pair of long trousers when we met :rolleyes:

I believe that less than a year after I went back to Italy to get the dog - I'd had to learn to drive in the meantime so I could see the dog in quarantine, and indeed find a passable kennels - he gave up the farm and retreated to the mud hut in the Languedoc where I'd met him. What a waste of seven years' hard work... the place was already deteriorating sharply when I got back - veg garden gone to pot [literally!!], only half the sheep there should have been, and a few manky looking hens.... He'd drunk all my booze too, some of it gifts from friends. I understand he went on one bender that winter when he was alone, then stopped again.

I'd intended to stay in Italy,which I truly loved; but once I knew he was playing fast and loose over thehouse I felt I had to come back here and sort it out - it was difficult enough and would have been impossible stuck up an Italian mountain. And I never did manage to get back on the property ladder, so with no pension and no property I'm stuffed! - I may as well just go racing
:D

I don't care what happened to him but I do care about what became of my cats... the younger one a young black male I'd tamed from the wild, had vanished when I went back to get the dog. The elder one a calico female who had come from England with us, spent the two weeks draped aorund my neck... broke my heart, leaving her, but she would have hated quarantine, and living in London. So I left her behind as the kinder option. I told him I'd haunt him if he didn't look after her always...
 
Originally posted by Headstrong@Aug 29 2006, 10:13 PM
As we separated he seduced the virgin 19 year old daughter of our greatest friends
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I realise that you didn't intend this to be amusing, but..... :lol: :lol:
 
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