Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) We must polish the Polish furniture
5) He would be in the lead if his boots were not made of lead
6) The soldier decided to dessert his dessert in the dessert
7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) I did not object to the object
10) The insurance was invalid for the invalid
11) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
12) They were too close to the door to close it
13) The buck does funny things when the does are present
14) The wind was too strong to wind the sail up
15) After a number of injections my jaw got number
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candy while sweetbread, which aren't sweet are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and to get rid of all but one of them, is it an odd or an end? If teachers taught, why don't preachers prought? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by trunk and send cargo by ship? We have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm comes on by going off.
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the light are out they are invisible English was invented by people not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which of course, is not a race at all.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) We must polish the Polish furniture
5) He would be in the lead if his boots were not made of lead
6) The soldier decided to dessert his dessert in the dessert
7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) I did not object to the object
10) The insurance was invalid for the invalid
11) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
12) They were too close to the door to close it
13) The buck does funny things when the does are present
14) The wind was too strong to wind the sail up
15) After a number of injections my jaw got number
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candy while sweetbread, which aren't sweet are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and to get rid of all but one of them, is it an odd or an end? If teachers taught, why don't preachers prought? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by trunk and send cargo by ship? We have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm comes on by going off.
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the light are out they are invisible English was invented by people not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which of course, is not a race at all.
