Are Men Who Decide To Have Kids After They Are 50

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kathy
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Do you frown upon men who have kids after 50?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
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K

Kathy

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Edited

I really don't mind which way people vote to be honest but I am intrigued if she is the only one who thinks it is somehow "morally" wrong for men to have children later in life?
 
Of course they are. A chap in his 70's trying to play football with the young 'un. He should be sitting in his bath chair.

PS Which thread is the edited argument on, I want some early morning entertainment.

PPS Will you all please ensure that all arguments are started and finished well before 4:30pm in future.
 
It's a "discussion" Simmo, not an argument. :P

I will certainly heed your advice for the future though. B)
 
Having children for a variety of reasons can be 'morally' wrong, or even 'fundamentally' wrong, but I've never considered the age of the parents to be an issue per se, whether it's the female or the male. Although I do crib at women who artificially prolong their ability to bear a child well past the natural child-bearing age, in order to satisfy their own maternal urges. That smacks more of vanity to me, wrong as I may be.

It's perfectly fine in many societies for teenage girls to be married to men who are three times their age, and who may already have a wife or wives, and children considerably older than their new bride. Provided the male's able to give his wife/wives an equal standard of living and status, no shame is attached to that, and, far from the begetting of more children being shameful, they are considered a blessing to the family. Of course, this pretty picture doesn't always work out, but then neither does Love's Young Dream!

Another thing nowadays is that people are living longer and, if actuarial tables are to be believed, living better and healthier lives. A man of 50 today stands a better chance of being in good body and mind in 20 years' time. It's also a matter of mental attitude towards kids - if you like them and enjoy them, you presumably want to have them?

Like Maurice - I don't doubt he'd be a cracking Dad to a new babe, and even if he snuffed it at 75 - so what? His kid's grown up by then, and will have known he/she was wanted and loved - about 100% more than thousands of absentee 'fathers' in their 20s will have ever offered their various and assorted produce. It's all too individualized, personal, and wide-ranging to be tied to one assumption or another, in my humble, and childless, opinion!
 
How did I know that you would be Mrs Sensible Krizon! Thank goodness some people on this forum are willing to give their opinion (whatever it is) rather than say nothing in fear of upsetting one of the "regulars"! B)
 
That's different Colin. I am of the opinion anyone who has kids is totally bonkers, but that's a different story! :)

My Dad is with my half brother and sister in Ireland at the moment, and they are off to swim with the dolphins this afternoon. :blink: If I were him, I would prefer to be sat in a pub by the waters edge, with a good book. B) Each to their own eh?
 
My brother adopted four years ago at the age of 42. Young Moneph is now 4½ and his Dad 46. He's a fantastic Dad, his wife is a fantastic Mum and Moneph is the most happy, well-behaved, affectionate and polite child I have known in years.

Four years hence, his Dad will be 50 and the boy will be 8. If the Dad feels the same way about his child as I do about mine then a further 10 years down the line ain't gonna be a problem.

Of course, life throws in all sorts of unexpected problems and 'situations' along the way and it's how an individual deals with them that defines them as individuals.
 
If people did less judging of what others do morally right or wrong and minded there own business, the world would be a better place.

A pointless poll, a pointless argument...
 
Originally posted by Gearoid@Aug 2 2005, 09:09 AM
If people did less judging of what others do morally right or wrong and minded there own business, the world would be a better place.
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Do you really think so, Gearoid?

I reckon we could debate this one for a while...
 
I agree Maurice.

Gearoid, the only reason this subject matter turned into an argument was when someone makes a sweeping generalisation based on goodness knows what

This is meant to be a "points of view" poll by sensible people of which there are clearly many on this forum.

Naturally, I can understand that some people in their twenties or thirties could find this extremely dull subject matter! B)
 
A persons perception wll depend be based on wether they know someone who had had kids when they were 50+. I have a friend whos father was in his late 50's when he was born. Whats wrong with that? Of course if you dont know someone its easy to say its all wrong, but just like the man talking about every subject from All-Ireland finals to the All Irelanders - they know **** all afterwards.

Its easy to say its morally wrong but I think its insulting on perfectly happy families in the situation.
 
I didn't read it all last night but I thought initially the point SL was trying to make was that it was morally wrong for a man of over 50 to leave his devoted wife of 25+ years to shack up with a much younger woman and produce more children. That I agree with. It's very selfish so I voted for yes. It happened to my friends parents who had been married for 30 years. They sold the land on their farm to a property developer, making millions of pounds, and soon afterwards he started seeing a much younger woman, younger than my friend, and she also had several children by several fathers. Anybody could see she was just sfter him for his money, but an old fool and his money are easily parted as the saying goes.
 
Griffin, to recap this was SL's comment which hasn't (yet) been deleted, which I think you will find does not specifically mention her Dad. I think you can take from that she means all men, and she confirms it is a generalisation.

"Sweeping generalisation it may be, Kathy - but I think there is something fundamentally wrong with middle-aged men (let alone those in their fifties) either 1) deciding to have more children (what good is it going to do a teenage child to have a parent/s in their 70s for chrissake?) 2) casting aside their devoted wives of nearly 30 years or 3) taking up with young women of dubious morals the same age as their own children. I call it common decency & having proper morals."
 
Originally posted by Kathy@Aug 2 2005, 11:33 AM
Griffin, to recap this was SL's comment which hasn't (yet) been deleted, which I think you will find does not specifically mention her Dad. I think you can take from that she means all men, and she confirms it is a generalisation.

"Sweeping generalisation it may be, Kathy - but I think there is something fundamentally wrong with middle-aged men (let alone those in their fifties) either 1) deciding to have more children (what good is it going to do a teenage child to have a parent/s in their 70s for chrissake?) 2) casting aside their devoted wives of nearly 30 years or 3) taking up with young women of dubious morals the same age as their own children. I call it common decency & having proper morals."
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Yes but it was said with her father in mind I presume. And because of the damage I have seen caused by such men it is an opinion that I share with her.
 
This is absolutley ridiculous Kathy. SL was drawn into some comments that are coming from feelings that are somewhere painful, and as associates (friends?) we should allow her these. You are turning her comment into a stupid sophomoric debate that does you no credit. This poll is as much a generalisation as her comments.

Howabout we all have a show a hands and say 'Kathy is right' and turn this off. Would this vindicate you?

Meanwhile I'd prefer to buy SL a drink.
 
SL was drawn into some comments that are coming from feelings that are somewhere painful, and as associates (friends?) we should allow her these.
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I said something similar at the time when the was the "trouble" with Alan's private life being discussed on here by those close to him. This forum is hardly the place to bring up such issues. Of course SL and others are allowed to but the thoughts of anyone and everyone reading some of the stuff on here makes me think they should keep it to themselves and those around them for their own sakes.
 
An,

I am sorry you feel like that, and I really do sympathise with Shadow Leader BUT airing personal problems on a forum (which many people do) and then making sweeping statements about what she thinks is morally right and wrong really rattles me especially when people rarely challenge her views on this forum. It's not the first time, and almost certainly won't be the last.

I talk crap all (most) of the time, but I would like to think people would tell me rather than everyone sit on the side lines nodding in agreement rather than challenge me.

Krizon, has had "runnings" :P (or was that run-ins?)with SL about various subjects recently, where I decided to keep quiet, unlike me I know, but this time, when my father had children in his 50's and SL comes out with yet another of her rants I felt compelled to speak out.

As for all her "friends" rallying round her, I am sure she will be suitably grateful. I quite like people disliking me on this forum, after all I have had 2 years plus to get use to it! :P
 
If the roles were reversed I'd say exactly the same to her. There is no right or wrong answer just experiences and feelings. I've never met SL.

Let it go.
 
As much as I think you are an absolute top geezer An and I would still share my last packet of Rolo's with you, I am only running a friendly poll - just to see if Shadow Leader holds a common point of view. I really don't care about the result either way I am just intrigued.
 
I find it puzzling to reconcile the argument that on the one hand Dom is guilty of making sweeping statements (which in this case in my opinion she was!) by then posting a poll with with equally inflexible voting options - ie, implying that either you think it fine for all men over 50 to become fathers or you don't..... :(

Nope, you've lost me on this one Kathy!!
 
Songsheet, I was trying to keep it very simple being only a simple gal :blink: B) I thought it best to keep with a quick yes or no, although I know there are many variations dependent on individual circumstances.
 
Exactly, individual circumstances - Its ridiculous to generalize thats either right or wrong. Your basically putting up your point of view and asking wether we agree with you or not.
 
It is deliberately inflammatory , when did that become a surprise .

I am going to lock it -unless anyone objects ( not including either Kathy or Shadow Leader)
 
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