Arse Cup

an capall

an capall

Senior Jockey
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
5,549
Location
Dalkey
Following an incredibly exciting and brilliantly handicapped first round, we are left with two dead heats. If I could ask my lovely assistant to close the other threads and re-enter the following ties.

So what happens now is that the deadheaters amalgamate in the next round and can be jointly voted for. If they win through in the final they will be awarded the title of 'Forum Buttock' and they will then have a run off before challenging reigning champion, Derek Burgess for his title of Intergalatic Arse Master.

The draw for round two is:


Songsheet/Krizon vs terry/Ardross
Merlin vs Brian H
Kathy Vs An Capall
Ian Davies vs Swirley Chaser.

---------------------------------------------

Arseform Extracts to help your choice.

Krizon. (Gr M) Stun Gun x Nipple Clips (Night Stick)

Game old mare, lots of ability. Returned to dead heat after long lay off. Half sister to good German Handicapper, Eichmann. Goes well fresh.

Songsheet. (bf) F8ck the Foxes x Where's The Beef (Up All Night)

Attractive well made filly, rangy. Gone in her coat, but latest effort excused. In season. Unlikely to trouble in this company.

terry (Gr G) Cash flow x Offshore Account (Cayman Islands)

Heavy topped gelding. Once group class but has lost form recently. Outsider.

Ardross. (Br G) Alleged x Going Down (Bang Em Up)

Inconsistant but very good on his day. Stays all day. Carrying terry likely to impact chances, but lively outsider.

Merlin The Magician (Bl G) Oddly Strange x Misunderstood ( Welsh Pagaent) Squiggle.

Resolute and determined old handicapper. Tends to baulk under the whip, but will have support.


Brian H (Gr G) Massive Mansion x Perpetual Holiday (Loadsamoney)

Expensive chaser, goes well on the firm. Been around too long to be a factor here, liable to hit one or two on the way around.

Kathy (br f) Scary Bird x Unpredictable (Not The Worst)

Once rated 122, has slipped to 116, putting her in here with a real chance. Won easily last time although opponent not up to much. Goes well, but tends to lose chance under pressure.

Ian Davies (b c) Cheap Exchange x Wind Up (Know it All)

Gets lots of ability from the dam sire. Runs in snatches but goes well on the heavy. A real favourites chance.

Swirley Chaser Br G) Identity Unknown x Dayna Jane (Wrongly Accused)

On his day has a stone in hand although recent signs that he is coming back to the field. If returning to old ways will hack up.

An Capall (Br C) Celtic Beauty x Perfect Form (Mr Popularity)

Beautifully made Irish Colt. Jumps well. Game. Likes the whip.
 
Funniest posting I've ever read here. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: < the four emoticons of elemental excellence B).

Poor Swirly, the lad had so little to live for already, but the internet's least amusing clone-merchant at least got to dream the TH Arse Cup dream for a day or two.

But now the hapless tiny village of of Little-Swirly-On-The-Wold has drawn the mighty MArsechester United away and is now about to get a ten-nil hammering at Davies's terrifying Theatre of Arse.

Bring it on! :lol:
 
Davies, there is no doubt that you are an arse.

Probably the biggest arse of all.

But when people are faced with that decision, i.e YOU or ME....clicking on you means supporting (in a way) me.

No one wants to support me.

You cannot possibly win this tie.
 
Swirly,

Antagonising people sufficiently for them to form an enduring impression of you as a Group One Arse requires intelligence, wit and diligence - three qualities I have in abundance, but three qualities in which you are singularly lacking. :lol:

Anyone who ever learned to put their own trousers on unassisted of a morning could do what you do on the internet, and troll about a bit and make a minor nuisance of yourself - the reason why they don't is the same reason why they don't jump in every puddle they see: they didn't donate their brain to medical science as a toddler. :lol:

Be glad you've drawn me in this tie - after your utter drubbing, it'll give you something to bore people about in the Old People's home in your twilight years. :lol:

Davies is pompous, Davies is conceited, Davies is unpleasant, Davies is ALWAYS right.

The conclusion? Davies is the Arkle of Internet Arse. QED.

Vote Davies. :lol: B)
 
You forgot to mention....Davies is losing to Swirly....

You downright fucking idiot.
 
And your mate the golden deliciarse or whatever his name is. Where's he?

And where's suny?

The whole thing is arse.
 
Swirly,

It's quite simple, my intellectually challenged chum - by expressing a desire to win this poisoned chalice, I contrived to get myself eliminated at an early stage.

Rarely have so many people been so easily fooled. :lol:
 
Bloody hell Ian, that last post was like the conclusion of an episode of Murder She Wrote,

Terry, again, when compared to luminaries such as yourself, Ardross, Kathy etc, I don't think I am worthy of a place in that level of arseness. I haven't quite trained on as I should have..
 
Ian, there is nothing more embarrassing than watching you try to suggest that you deliberately campaigned to get yourself beaten.

All you did was insult me with personal attacks from the first moment to the last. You launched everything at me.

I twitched an eyebrow and beat you easily.

That's arse for you.
 
Terry, I was of the belief that only Kathy could get near Swirly.....you're certainly adding a bit of a 'Well Chief' factor to what looked like a two horse race
 
Gosh - I hope I havn't started a controversy. This is meant to be just a little festive cheer.

Poll's remain open until noon Monday.
 
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