Bad Jokes

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cricketfan

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Many years ago, a fisherman and his wife had twin sons, but they didn't know what to name them. The husband said, "Let's just wait. If we wait long enough, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks, they noticed something peculiar about the children. When left alone, one boy would face the sea, and the other would face inland.

"Let's call the boys Toward and Away," suggested the fisherman, and his wife agreed.

Years passed, and one day the fisherman told his adult sons, "It's time that you learned how to make a living from the sea." The fisherman and his sons provisioned their ship and set sail for a three-month voyage. At the voyage's end, the fisherman returned alone.

"What happened?" his wife cried.

"We were barely one day out to sea," the fisherman explained solemnly, "when Toward hooked a great fish. Toward fought long and hard, but the fish was great and strong. For whole week they wrestled upon the waves, yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Toward was pulled over the side. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."

"Oh dear!" the wife cried. "What a huge fish that must have been! What a terrible fish! What a horrible fish!"

"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."
 
There was a heart-rending story in the paper recently:

A poverty-stricken Scottish wife gave birth to identical twins but, despite loving them intensely, the couple felt they were never going to have the financial means to support them and feared the children would be picked on, as they had been in their own childhood, because they were poor. They therefore decided to put them up for adoption. It so happened one went to a rich middle-eastern family, who named him Amal, while the other went to a well-off Spanish couple who called him Juan.

All through the next 20 years the Scottish couple agonised over whether their decision to give them up for adoption was the right one, and how 'their' children had been growing up, whether they were happy and well-loved, etc.

Then one day, Amal's adoptive parents decided to tell him about his background. He was moved to tears and decided he'd get in touch with the adoption agency for more information. They, in turn, told him about his twin brother now living in Spain. Through the agency, they got in touch and decided to try to meet their natural parents.

The poor Scottish couple were beside themsleves with joy and anxiety when they got word about the proposed meeting. What would the boys look like? How would they feel about them? Would they be ashamed if they found out how poor their natural parents were?

However, by sheer bad luck, Amal fell ill just before he was due to leave for Scotland, leaving Juan to travel alone.

The scenes when Juan's natural parents met him at the airport were very emotional. They cried buckets, went for lunch, talked excitedly for hours, wept more buckets. Eventually Juan had to get back home. He slipped his mother some money and kissed her a fond farewell.

On the way home the wife remarked to her husband how much she had looked forward to this day and how emotional a time it had been for her but her big regret was not seeing her other son, that she might never see what he looks like.

Her husband tried to reassure her, "Dinnae wurry yersel', hen. They're identical twins. If ye've seen Juan, ye've seen Amal."
 
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