Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." She made the
supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since
she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to
see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned.
He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and
let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin
and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other
cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went
on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells
signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times
with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when
her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if
she peeked and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold ... and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a
"Happy Birthday"!!!
She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." She made the
supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since
she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans
was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she
figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to
see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She
seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned.
He then went to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and
let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin
and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other
cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went
on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells
signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times
with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when
her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if
she peeked and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold ... and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a
"Happy Birthday"!!!