Big Brother
- Thread starter Aldaniti
- Start date
granger
Senior Jockey
I probably will
trackside528
At the Start
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
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- 5,377
What's her name?
jinnyj
Senior Jockey
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2004
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Had to smile when I read this piece on another forum about this years intake:
"Not a very competetive field for the 2009 edition of this fine show which serves the country a great purpose only in so far as it usually keeps three or four utter cocksmokers (thanks Fawwon, great word that) off the streets of the UK for a couple of months (till they get evicted). The 'field' comprises the usual fringe models with boob jobs gone wrong, friends of the Endemol production team & several 'men' who look as though they only wash when all other options have been exhausted & are willing to stick their willies into anything barring a blender.
Freddie:
Poshprick, wears a big 'Afgan' hat in the middle of Summer, so clearly some mental issues there.Family clearly own most of the countryside surrounding his house, but it looks like they couldn't even get him in the seminary to send him away to become a priest, so they are probably paying Endemol a fortune to take him off their hands & remove the risk of sexual assault on any of their animals. No chance.
Lisa:
Whatever planet she came from must be missing her already. Clearly a breath of fresh air, but only if you live in a cesspit. Looks as though she's quite keen on the idea of shgging one of the birds in there. Looks as though she wants to be everyone's friend & everyone is studiously ignoring her. No chance.
Sophie:
Another from the factory that produces blonde airheads with defective knicker elastic. Said in her video piece she takes no sh!t, but clearly desperate to find a man with money or show as much of her body as she can for money to avoid doing anything to actually earn money. Women will hate her as will the impoverished bedsit dwellers who watch this show when they realise she'd rather sh@g a horse for a tenner than any of them for nothing. No chance
Kris:
"I am clever" he told us in his piece to camera & then 'cleverly' called himself a 'visual merchandiser' rather than a shelf stacker which was incredibly clever, because most of us were labouring under the misconception that he was probably a scientist or something at the United Nations. Looks in need of 3 bars of Dettol soap & a rough flannel on the genitals.75% chance of this one proving to be gay, despite his 'flirting' with the women. No Chance.
Noirin:
Her father was a priest/missionary/whatever & like all well brought up girls she has a mouth like a sewer & the moral standing of a dead alley cat. Noirin will be heavily involved in a competition with Sophie to see who can look the cheapest & who can convert Kris into actually sleeping with women. No chance
Cairon:
Named after a brand of washing powder in New Zealand this lad has all da gangsta speak, despite being about as 'gangsta' as Bonnie Langford/Christopher Biggins lovechild. Shades of earlier Big Brother blow hole 'Science' with this lad & while he might be there long enough to get his complement of underwear through the spin cycle five or six times, he still has little chance of winning this, especially when da kids in da hood realise he'd rather be Tiger Woods. No chance.
Angel:
If this 'girl' isn't a plant she clearly has serious mental issues & the entire bunch would do well to give her a very wide berth.
Rolled up there last night looking like Willie Wonka meets Boris Yeltzin. Lisa's eyes lit up when Angel walked in because she can sense when there is someone within 200yds who is stupid enough to sleep with her. If she's not illegal she might last a fortnight? No chance.
Carly:
The pick of the 'fit' birds in the house by some way. Will probably get on well with people & will endear some viewers with her Barbie meets Gorbals Mick mannerisms. She claims to like 'intelligent, powerful men' so I hope she's taken a vibrator in there with her or she will be climbing the walls after 9 weeks of this. Outside chance
Marcus:
Looks like something called Wolverine according to Davina, so I assume this Wolverine is a scruffy ****?
Talked about superheroes & being a trend setter.
Deliousonal relality blockers usually do well in this type of sh!te & he's worth a poke (not in the biblical sense of course) Chance.
Bienazir:
"Have you heard of Bienazir Bhutto?" she said to the person interviewing her...
No love, we all thought she'd been named after you.....That's why they killed her!
Obviously what can go wrong when well brought up Muslim children become westernised & 'rebel' Will continually get it wrong & p!ss off everyone in the house. Expecting details of sex change stories, or sex in skip rumours to surface around week four. No chance.
Sophia:
Dumpy (no threat to the teeny girlies who vote)
Giggly (like the teeny girlies who vote)
Not like Nancy Lam from last year (thank Christ say the teeny girlies that vote)
Clever........compared to the competition
Clearly an Endemol favourite. Would have been ignored at auditions if she didn't 'know someone'
Bienazir was delighted when she walked in & scooped the most un-attractive female award. Big Chance.
Rodrigo:
"Britain is turning me gay" minced Rodrigo (from Brazil)
Yes, of course it is Rodrigo. John Inman was an alligator wrestler before he moved here.
Never wants to go back to Brazil he says. That's pretty obvious, because they dont have dole in Brazil. Unless he meant ALAN Brazil......Didn't know he had a 'houseboy' though? No chance
Charlie:
Clearly never returning to Newcastle because he was quite keen to let everyone know how gay he is & would be Newky Browned to death on his return.Former winner of Mr Gay Newcastle (bet that was a massive field)
Serial liar & will mince from group to group causing trouble. Endemol will keep him in a while because he will cause trouble, but he wont be allowed to win as he's a vile little mincer & little else. No chance.
Saffia
Not to be confused with Sophia & the best way to remember how not to confuse them is as follows, one is a thoroughly dislikeable, lying, butch looking gettersnipe who clearly cannot hang onto a man despite laying several honey traps & getting pregnant to two different men. The other is called Sophia. No chance.
Sree:
Is from India, for those who were struggling to place the accent.
Sri is intelligent, quite devout & seems the nicest bloke in there. Could be too quiet for his own good & the mincers/deviants/attention seekers will try to marginalise him & ridicule him. He will probably behead Bienazir by week five if he's still in there. Outside chance.
Siavash:
In true theatrical style they saved the worst till last. Siavash is a cocksmoker of the highest order, clearly struggline to wash even for the biggest night of his worthless life.
Calls himself an event organiser which is another word for DOLEMONGER. Best if he leaves now as he could cause trouble when the anti-depressants wear off. No chance.
Selection:
Sophia
Next Best:
Marcus
"Not a very competetive field for the 2009 edition of this fine show which serves the country a great purpose only in so far as it usually keeps three or four utter cocksmokers (thanks Fawwon, great word that) off the streets of the UK for a couple of months (till they get evicted). The 'field' comprises the usual fringe models with boob jobs gone wrong, friends of the Endemol production team & several 'men' who look as though they only wash when all other options have been exhausted & are willing to stick their willies into anything barring a blender.
Freddie:
Poshprick, wears a big 'Afgan' hat in the middle of Summer, so clearly some mental issues there.Family clearly own most of the countryside surrounding his house, but it looks like they couldn't even get him in the seminary to send him away to become a priest, so they are probably paying Endemol a fortune to take him off their hands & remove the risk of sexual assault on any of their animals. No chance.
Lisa:
Whatever planet she came from must be missing her already. Clearly a breath of fresh air, but only if you live in a cesspit. Looks as though she's quite keen on the idea of shgging one of the birds in there. Looks as though she wants to be everyone's friend & everyone is studiously ignoring her. No chance.
Sophie:
Another from the factory that produces blonde airheads with defective knicker elastic. Said in her video piece she takes no sh!t, but clearly desperate to find a man with money or show as much of her body as she can for money to avoid doing anything to actually earn money. Women will hate her as will the impoverished bedsit dwellers who watch this show when they realise she'd rather sh@g a horse for a tenner than any of them for nothing. No chance
Kris:
"I am clever" he told us in his piece to camera & then 'cleverly' called himself a 'visual merchandiser' rather than a shelf stacker which was incredibly clever, because most of us were labouring under the misconception that he was probably a scientist or something at the United Nations. Looks in need of 3 bars of Dettol soap & a rough flannel on the genitals.75% chance of this one proving to be gay, despite his 'flirting' with the women. No Chance.
Noirin:
Her father was a priest/missionary/whatever & like all well brought up girls she has a mouth like a sewer & the moral standing of a dead alley cat. Noirin will be heavily involved in a competition with Sophie to see who can look the cheapest & who can convert Kris into actually sleeping with women. No chance
Cairon:
Named after a brand of washing powder in New Zealand this lad has all da gangsta speak, despite being about as 'gangsta' as Bonnie Langford/Christopher Biggins lovechild. Shades of earlier Big Brother blow hole 'Science' with this lad & while he might be there long enough to get his complement of underwear through the spin cycle five or six times, he still has little chance of winning this, especially when da kids in da hood realise he'd rather be Tiger Woods. No chance.
Angel:
If this 'girl' isn't a plant she clearly has serious mental issues & the entire bunch would do well to give her a very wide berth.
Rolled up there last night looking like Willie Wonka meets Boris Yeltzin. Lisa's eyes lit up when Angel walked in because she can sense when there is someone within 200yds who is stupid enough to sleep with her. If she's not illegal she might last a fortnight? No chance.
Carly:
The pick of the 'fit' birds in the house by some way. Will probably get on well with people & will endear some viewers with her Barbie meets Gorbals Mick mannerisms. She claims to like 'intelligent, powerful men' so I hope she's taken a vibrator in there with her or she will be climbing the walls after 9 weeks of this. Outside chance
Marcus:
Looks like something called Wolverine according to Davina, so I assume this Wolverine is a scruffy ****?
Talked about superheroes & being a trend setter.
Deliousonal relality blockers usually do well in this type of sh!te & he's worth a poke (not in the biblical sense of course) Chance.
Bienazir:
"Have you heard of Bienazir Bhutto?" she said to the person interviewing her...
No love, we all thought she'd been named after you.....That's why they killed her!
Obviously what can go wrong when well brought up Muslim children become westernised & 'rebel' Will continually get it wrong & p!ss off everyone in the house. Expecting details of sex change stories, or sex in skip rumours to surface around week four. No chance.
Sophia:
Dumpy (no threat to the teeny girlies who vote)
Giggly (like the teeny girlies who vote)
Not like Nancy Lam from last year (thank Christ say the teeny girlies that vote)
Clever........compared to the competition
Clearly an Endemol favourite. Would have been ignored at auditions if she didn't 'know someone'
Bienazir was delighted when she walked in & scooped the most un-attractive female award. Big Chance.
Rodrigo:
"Britain is turning me gay" minced Rodrigo (from Brazil)
Yes, of course it is Rodrigo. John Inman was an alligator wrestler before he moved here.
Never wants to go back to Brazil he says. That's pretty obvious, because they dont have dole in Brazil. Unless he meant ALAN Brazil......Didn't know he had a 'houseboy' though? No chance
Charlie:
Clearly never returning to Newcastle because he was quite keen to let everyone know how gay he is & would be Newky Browned to death on his return.Former winner of Mr Gay Newcastle (bet that was a massive field)
Serial liar & will mince from group to group causing trouble. Endemol will keep him in a while because he will cause trouble, but he wont be allowed to win as he's a vile little mincer & little else. No chance.
Saffia
Not to be confused with Sophia & the best way to remember how not to confuse them is as follows, one is a thoroughly dislikeable, lying, butch looking gettersnipe who clearly cannot hang onto a man despite laying several honey traps & getting pregnant to two different men. The other is called Sophia. No chance.
Sree:
Is from India, for those who were struggling to place the accent.
Sri is intelligent, quite devout & seems the nicest bloke in there. Could be too quiet for his own good & the mincers/deviants/attention seekers will try to marginalise him & ridicule him. He will probably behead Bienazir by week five if he's still in there. Outside chance.
Siavash:
In true theatrical style they saved the worst till last. Siavash is a cocksmoker of the highest order, clearly struggline to wash even for the biggest night of his worthless life.
Calls himself an event organiser which is another word for DOLEMONGER. Best if he leaves now as he could cause trouble when the anti-depressants wear off. No chance.
Selection:
Sophia
Next Best:
Marcus
Shadow Leader
At the Start
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- Nov 9, 2003
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- 9,884
Why do people watch this shit??
Irish Stamp
Forum Moderator
No idea but tbh I saw a few of them go in and was left wondering does Karly have any redeeming qualities?
She seems a total stuck up and ignorant bitch.
She seems a total stuck up and ignorant bitch.
granger
Senior Jockey
If we were all on BB, I wonder who would be up for eviction first.....
Oops double take there - it was Karly you said not ...:lol:
G-G
Senior Jockey
I despair every year when this c*** starts again. I can't believe it achieves the viewing figures it does. If they really have to continue with it, could they not at least, move it to a later slot? I'd rather watch repeats of CSI Miami. Actually no I wouldn't.
The write-up's very witty - too bad the show never is. I've only caught nanoseconds of it when rousing from my semi-comatose state on the sofa, having OD'd on too many re-runs of CSI Everywhere. The few glimpses I've seen of this terrifying psychological drama have surpassed the weirdest moments of 'Blue Velvet', so I've turned off quickly, before night fears could take their hold. However, if you plan to watch it, remember that these things happen to only a very small minority of the population, so, do sleep well, and don't have nightmares.