Countryside News

BrianH

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From the front page of today's Guardian:

New Labour lines up countryside role for Charles

[/i]Staff reporters
Friday April 1, 2005
The Guardian[/i]

Tony Blair is planning to offer Prince Charles the role of "countryside tsar" in a third-term Labour government, the Guardian has learned.

The offer - to be announced on the eve of Charles's wedding to his long-term lover, Camilla - is intended to give the prince some hands-on experience of running something in preparation for his future role as king.

Labour insiders also hope that the prince will help mend fences with rural voters, disenchanted by the government's handling of foot and mouth, BSE and fox hunting.

The prince would work alongside Alan Milburn, Labour's election campaign coordinator, and Lord Birt, adviser to Mr Blair, in a re structured Cabinet Office. Lord Birt believes that Prince Charles could be sent on a nationwide "mission to explain" New Labour policies to farming communities.

Lord Birt and Prince Charles are reported to have held "blue-skies thinking" focus groups, which came up with a proposal to top-slice the BBC licence fee with a view to putting the long-running Radio 4 serial, the Archers, on Channel Five.

"It kills two birds with one stone," said one Downing Street insider last night. "It gives Charles a proper job, which is good for the monarchy, and it also helps reconnect us with the green welly brigade."

The prince is understood to have made it a condition of taking the job that a third term Labour government would reverse its ban on fox hunting. One Downing Street source said: "Tony's very relaxed about it, so long as it can be re-branded as a sport for the many, not the few."

The culture secretary, Tessa Jowell, has already been in discussions with Clarence House about how to open up fox hunting to a more diverse, less elitist, group of participants. "It's about giving kids on housing estates the same opportunities to hunt as posh children from the home counties," said one culture department source. Ms Jowell's office refused to confirm whether Britain would be pressing for drag-hunting to become an Olympic event in time for the 2012 Games.

The prince has deep roots in the countryside, and has turned the Duchy of Cornwall into a £12m business. Labour strategists believe this reconnection with the countryside, harking back to gentler, more community-based times of strong village and family links, could turn into a mass movement under the slogan: "Are you remembering what I'm remembering?"

Downing Street insiders also believe that the prince could help repair relations with the travelling community, bruised by the recent commotion over illegal sites.

Ministers close to Tony Blair were both surprised and delighted when the prince offered to accept 200 caravans from the controversial site at Crays Hill in Essex on a large plot at Poundbury, his showpiece development in Dorset.

Labour insiders hope that Camilla could play a role along side the prince in wooing disaffected rural voters. Mr Milburn is keen that she should repair links with the Women's Institute, after Mr Blair's humiliating slow-handclap reception in 2000.

"The feeling is, it works both ways," said a Cabinet Office source. "It's good for us, but it also helps re-brand Camilla as a jam-maker rather than a home-breaker."

Private surveys for the prince, conducted by the polling firm Yo, Guv!, show that Mrs Parker Bowles has a positive image rating with the public exceeded only by the Queen among female royals.

One plan being discussed at Highgrove is to gradually reposition the prince's wife as the public face of the Duchy Originals biscuit range. It is thought that the stem ginger brand will be the first to carry her portrait.

Last night however, Treasury sources were suggesting that Gordon Brown, the chancellor, was counselling strongly against the prime minister's bold move. "Gordon doesn't believe in chummying up to the royals and their legions of toadies. He keeps asking how this will go down in Auchtermuchty Labour club," said a No 11 source.

But that position was rubbished last night by officials close to Mr Milburn. "That's just sour grapes from Gordon," said one influential aide. "The unpalatable truth for Brown is that Alan and Charles get on brilliantly. And why wouldn't they? Alan is the chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, Charles has the Duchy of Cornwall. They have loads in common."
 
The Guardian has a brilliant record with April 1st stories, including one of the all-time greats. In 1977 the paper published a special seven-page supplement describing the tenth anniversary of the independence of the small island of San Serriffe. It was in the style of contemporary reviews of foreign countries, complete with themed adverts from major companies. It is renowned in the world of hoax articles, up there with Richard Dimbleby's marvellous spaghetti harvests.
 
I took a banana-flavoured milk to Lingfield today. Seeing it, my colleague began regaling me, and our bookies' checker, about seeing a fascinating interview this morning with a radical farmer, who had begun feeding his sick cow bananas, in an effort to make her better. As she improved, he noticed that her milk began to taste of bananas, and he was now experimenting with another cow and strawberries... it was at this point my chum stopped dead, rolled his eyes, and realized he'd been had! :D
 
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