D.I.Y Hole in One

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Gearoid

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A friend of mine who ocassionally suffers fron anger management issuses has a DIY query. He smacked what he believed to be a perfectly solid wall with the intent of self harm. While a minor graze was secured the more pressing matter was the fetching hole in the wall. It appears some form of MDF or a false wall is about 4 inches from the solid wall behind. How does one go about covering this up so visiters dont think he is beating their loved ones?
 
Blu-tac a large pornographic centrefold from, say, 'Fiesta' or 'Big Bold Rustler' (adjust to taste) over the offending chasm.

99% of visitors will physically look in the other direction at all times, and the 1% who do want a much closer look won't notice regardless.
 
Shit loads of polyfilla and pictures of Dayjur winning the Sprint Cup and Subotica winning the Arc cover a couple of holes I "created" in my flat.
 
This thread is a pleasant surprise; when I saw the title I thought it was the going to be the latest installment of the golf thread's ill-fated 'nailed-on' series.
 
Now thats just the type of outside the bow thinking Im looking for but I only have summer issues and the skin tone would not go with the curtains.
 
trackside528 said:
This thread is a pleasant surprise; when I saw the title I thought it was the going to be the latest installment of the golf thread's ill-fated 'nailed-on' series.
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My friend needs help so please dont get me started on how far Martin Kaymer wins this week....
 
You could always block the hole with a full-size Predator, like some of those minted fuckers from Cribs have in their gaffs.

It would also give the impression that you may just have signed for the LA Lakers, which would add intrigue to the dinner-party conversation.
 
How long would I have to stand in front of the hole with a classic Sam Fox cetrefold to kill two birds with er... one stone?
 
Grasshopper said:
You could always block the hole with a full-size Predator, like some of those minted fuckers from Cribs have in their gaffs.

It would also give the impression that you may just have signed for the LA Lakers, which would add intrigue to the dinner-party conversation.
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It would be a refreshing change from the - how long are you together? Since I found out she was pregnant....
 
Would it be possible to hang a picture of paradise on the solid wall behind and leave the hole?
 
Of course but its around chest high to me, Im gifted but not a genius so lets not put the curtains at risk.
 
Gearoid, tell your mate to fill the hole with rolled up newspapers. Use a small amount of expanding foam to solidify this. Sand off any excess form, finish with polyfiller and paint.

Be careful not to use too much expanding foam.
 
Be very careful no to use too much expanding foam.

Scrunched up newspapers (with no foam filling) are, I believe, the standard method of plasterers .
 
I knew some sensible people would come along eventually. I am useless at DIY but I dont think Im going to do too much damage to the rental value of this place.
 
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Bash several more holes around it, of varying sizes. Splatter and smear with oxblood from the butcher shop. Add Magic Marker scrawled epithets of choice. Say, "Check this out - only 3 million Euros from Saatchi Galleries this week. They've got a recession special on the Hirsts".
 
My friend has just contacted me. A mixture of Ireland going out of the World Cup and coming home to find his other half in bed with his brother and his dog Tyson has seen the hole situation escalate. Should he cut his lossses and make it an alternative entrance to the kitchen?
 
Omigod - imagine how distressing to find your dog in bed with another man - and your brother, at that. Just shows how badly society's broken down these days.
 
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