Danny
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- Joined
- Feb 27, 2013
- Messages
- 1,457
I've come to I suppose a bit of a crossroads in life. I turned 41 last week, my daughter is all grown up, I've just finished my mortgage on my humble abode, I still have a day job ( although still currently furloughed) that i detest to levels beyond anyone's comprehension so the scene is set to have a midlife crisis. Over the years I've been so busy working, dealing with family life, looking after a child and to some extent parents and certainly in laws ( or outlaws as I prefer to name them) that just getting through life has seemed like pushing treacle up a hill. I've always thought that...
- Danny
- Replies: 39
- Forum: General Racing Topics
So I was thinking I hadn't really been around since I packed the game up properly in March/April 2019. But apparently judging by my old posts I've made the odd cameo since. Rather than post a mega introduction again the link is a thread from a previous moment of, I should get back into racing. For those who read it before they need not bother again anyone who wasn't around can if they want too although its a lot of waffle on my part.
So where have I been and whats happened since then. Well for one reason or another the motivation to carry on punting took a whack when there was an incident where I lost my exchange account all a mix up but its gone for good. There was also a back injury that completely through me off. I've struggled with all sorts of addiction down the years and a very up and down headspace I hate to use modern terms of addictive personality, depression, adhd or on the spectrum as isn't everybody these days but lets put it this way I'm undiagnosed but I know there is definitely something wrong with me So anyway part of my coping strategy has always been exercise whether weight training, swimming or walking I'm never better than when I'm doing some sort of exercise regularly. The back injury I had was fairly severe and took a long time to partially recover from. The diagnosis from the doc after viewing the MRI was basically my discs we're that worn he'd expect to have seen them in a 65 year old labourer I was 42 at the time. When I asked him what i could do he said nothing they're not going to grow back you'll just have to be careful. At this point I think i returned to my other coping mechanism, Alcohol. Basically I've had a few years doing what I've had to do i.e work and family stuff then just basically saying fuck it and drinking the night away. Tbh its not been a terrible life apart from I've piled on about 4 stone. I've never felt ill effects from it I'm still up bright and early for work but one of the worst probleams I found with it that it's a complete motivation killer to do anything of purpose.
So over the last 4 years I've learned how to manage my back issue regular visits to a chiropractor, regular massages ( my favourite hour of the week ) and Ice packs always on hand. I've started swimming again and doing some sort of weight/resistance training although the weights are embarrassing and the days of the big lifts squats and deadlifts are a distant memory but the effect mentally is the same, I'm feeling better. The booze, well, I'd promised myself a last blowout in Gran canaria over Christmas but despite being all inclusive it didn't really materialise and a drank a lot less than I'd been doing week to week over here. I've said I'm easily addicted to things but Alcohol seems exempt to that as I've had periods in my life where I've drank very heavily and periods where I've nothing for periods of time. I haven't had a drink since I got back bar a couple when i was out for a meal. I haven't been craving a beer or having any withdrawals which is incredible given the amount I've been consuming over a fair period of time. I'm not giving it up completely but I've just made the decision to stop drinking in the house and I don't go out very often because...uggh people!
The other thing that changed is my job. I'm still at the same company but landed a role as a fitters mate and haven't looked back since.I work with an amazing bunch of lads all daft as brushes and we spend most the day laughing gaffers sound too. I've gone on shifts 4 on 4 off permanent days which is brilliant as taking my holiday days into account I only work about 3 days per week all year round and for someone who's been working 6's and 7's most of his life it's nice to have free time. My money has almost doubled in the last 3 years also so its win, win. The only problem is after the company has been been flat out with work since the recession of 2008/9 a brief pause during covid but then full blast since. The last 9 months though work has dropped right off and things are looking worrying as the are for anything related to the Automotive industry all across Europe so a very rocky spell but hopefully we can ride the storm and I can carry on loving life at work.
What's the purpose of the thread then and with the return to horse race betting ? If I'm completely honest I need to apply myself to something, I have a lot of spare time on my hands which is something I've always dreamed of but never had. Like everything we've dreamed of sometimes the reality isn't as nice and for someone like me the Devil will always make work for idle hands. I've always walked a line between normal life and complete madness I certainly settled down whilst my daughter was growing up but now shes grown I'm at loose end again. In my time I've been a petrol sniffer, gone day drinking with the homeless and spent plenty of years stoned and there is only one thing for sure and that's if I don't apply myself to something and keep busy there are only more unchartered heights of disgrace lying a head.
So is there any life left in the old dog can finally I emerge from the longest mid life crisis in history ? Just thinking about it if I refer to myself as an old dog at 45 when to a lot of the guys on here to whom I just be a young whippersnapper then please understand. You've heard of the expression " he must of had a tough paper round" well mine was in the Helmand Province and they made me where a high viz. Think of it in car terms, a lot of you guys are like old classics, well looked after. I'm more like a clapped out ford cortina with 200'000 on the clock, parts falling off dents in every panel , run on the wrong type of fuel and don't even mention my gear stick its been sat on, kicked, knee'd, elbowed, punched, spat on, chewed and locked in a pair of step of one's never to see the light of day again.
Once more I got distracted the aim of the thread is firstly to keep me occupied and rekindle my interest in punting. I've given up any thoughts for now anyway of punting seriously. As I mentioned on another thread I am however interested in the fools errand of trying to land one last big payday and this is partly a thread that will cover my pursuit of that but also the odd personal update as I battle through life. Writing does not come natural to me as I'm not the brightest spark but I will do my best to make posts readable. Finding winners also does not come naturally and I am fairly rusty. ( Can't write or pick winners...starts horse racing blog) . I don't consider myself to be a tipster so follow anything at you're own peril. Also I'm blessed with the attention span of a gnat and the memory of a goldfish so getting my thoughts accurately into print is always difficult so there will be times I make mistakes regards form and stuff feel free to point them out if i appear to be talking like i know what I'm on about but I'm in fact talking bollocks. Hopefully I'll stick to it for more than 5 minutes, hopefully we can have a few laughs along the way and who knows we might even get a happy ending.
Welcome to the Diary of a fool.
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