Merlin the Magician
At the Start
>Disorder in the Court
>
>These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and Now
>published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
>these exchanges were actually taking place.
............................................................
>ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>___________________________
>ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>WITNESS: July 18th.
>ATTORNEY: What year?
>WITNESS: Every year.
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
>the impact?
>WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
>your memory at all?
>WTNES: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>WITNESS: I forget.
>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>forgot?
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living
>with you?
>WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
>said to you that morning?
>WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
>been involved in voodoo?
>WITNESS: We both do.
>ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>WITNESS: We do.
>ATTORNEY: You do?
>WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> ______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
>person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
>morning?
>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>___________________________________
>ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>_______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>WITNESS: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>WITNESS: Uh....
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>WITNESS: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>WITNESS: None.
>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>WITNESS: By death.
>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
>deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
>dead people?
>WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
>What school did you go to?
>WITNESS: Oral.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
>an autopsy on him!
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>WITNESS: Huh?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the utopsy, did you check for
>a pulse?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>you began the autopsy?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, never the
>less?
>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>practicing law.
>
>These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and Now
>published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
>these exchanges were actually taking place.
............................................................
>ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>___________________________
>ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>WITNESS: July 18th.
>ATTORNEY: What year?
>WITNESS: Every year.
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
>the impact?
>WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
>your memory at all?
>WTNES: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>WITNESS: I forget.
>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>forgot?
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living
>with you?
>WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
>said to you that morning?
>WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
>been involved in voodoo?
>WITNESS: We both do.
>ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>WITNESS: We do.
>ATTORNEY: You do?
>WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> ______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
>person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
>morning?
>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>___________________________________
>ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>_______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>WITNESS: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>WITNESS: Uh....
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>WITNESS: Yes.
>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>WITNESS: None.
>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>WITNESS: By death.
>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
>deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
>dead people?
>WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
>What school did you go to?
>WITNESS: Oral.
>______________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
>an autopsy on him!
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>WITNESS: Huh?
>_____________________________________
>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the utopsy, did you check for
>a pulse?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>you began the autopsy?
>WITNESS: No.
>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, never the
>less?
>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>practicing law.
