Without so much as consulting my agent first, two friends of mine have sent me e-mails in the past couple of days informing me that they've signed me onto something called 'Facebook' - which allows you to stay in touch with your friends, blah, blah. Hallo? Did I ask to be signed up onto something? No, I didn't. I usually either see my pals, talk to them by telephonic device, send e-mails or, if they're Neanderthal, letters. (Texting is anathema to me, even the bloody word 'texting'!) As a devout technophobe, the last thing I want is to be made to communicate through something I don't understand.