Hysteria

Honest Tom

Honest Tom

At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
1,272
In the pub last night I got chatting to a young actress (quite a famous young actress by all accounts but I won't mention her name). After a short while we arranged to meet up tonight but, moments later, I thought the better of it and told her I was married and cancelled our date. At that she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, and then became so hysterical I had to slap her very hard accross the cheek to bring her round.

I had only known her for 3 minutes and 26.3 seconds.
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Tom, I need your help. I am trying to unravel the 3 Minutes and 26.3 seconds. This is my best guess at the moment.

End of Minute 1. Bonding
End of Minute 2. Date Arranged.
End of Minute 3. Conscience kicks in.
3.10. Weeping and Gnashing of teeth.
3.20 Smack in the gob.
3.26.3 Exit, pursued by a bear.

Would that be about right?
 
That's what I was thinking. There was no time for indepth conversation, just an exchange of pleasantries, an attack of conscience followed by wailing and a smack :lol:

HT, a true gentleman.
 
This morning at 9.00 a.m. I was on a bus and passed the spot where I originally arranged to meet her at 7.30 p.m. yesterday evening. The poor girl was still there signing autographs and being harassed by male admirers. I felt so sorry for her that I got off the bus and approached her. She fainted and I had to call an ambulance.

Doctors say she is suffering from a broken heart and cauliflower ear.
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This isn't going to lead, piecemeal and very, very slowly, to some sort of awful vegetarian pun at the end of it all, is it? You know, "dates", "cauliflower ears", etc? Please lettuce know, so we can beet you to it by tomarrow, give you a rocket, and get to the end I've bean dreading.
 
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