I Got A Brand New Pc!

Shadow Leader

At the Start
Joined
Nov 9, 2003
Messages
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I've got a brand new, virgin, Dell PC waiting for me on my new desk for Monday morning. It's great, and the best bit is that I have got Messenger 7 on it (after being told it wouldn't be allowed as it was 'not conducive to business use') and it has built in speakers!!!! Today, the motivation just ain't there - I start a new job on Monday (hence new desk!!! :D ) and I can't be arsed with these last two days. Talk about the longest two days in the world!!! Roll on Monday morning, civilised working hours, a pay rise and NO MORE NIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!! Getting carried away I know, but the sight of the new pc across the way has got me itching to get away from this poxy desk!!!!! I've been waiting two months for this to actually come about too, was starting to think it wasn't gonna happen!! Btw, this is an attempt to get it out of the system, it's like being a child on Christmas Eve again!!! :lol:

(see what gets you going when you go so long without sex????!!! :blink: )
 
What? You mean the cheap buggers haven't sprung for the Ann Summers Vibrat-o-chair? :blink: IIIIIIII'mmmm ssuuuurrrpppprrrriiiissseeddd!!!
 
Well done Dom and good luck with the new job . It's not often a women gets promoted to this job so you have to be exceptional . Good on ya <_<
 
Congratulations on a well deserved promotion Dominique, I know it's been on the cards for a while now and your patience has been duly rewarded.
 
You're getting more money, but are you going to have to take on a lot more responsibility? That'll cut down on the flow of liquids, if you are - so it might come with hidden health benefits, too! :)
 
Cheers, people - the good wishes are appreciated! No, Brian, I didn't have to sleep with any women (or men!) to get the job - indeed, as the only woman in the department I'd be struggling to find a woman to sleep with to further my career!!! Before Relks mentions it, nope, the female HR Director had nothing to do with it, either!!

I am also very happy to see that already the boys are a-muttering over my new PC as it is now the newest in the office - at least one has expressed an intention to steal it!

Jon - if I follow in the footsteps of the man whose protégé I am about to become (cheers Paul, I now know how to insert the accents!!!) I will soon spend my waking hours either 1) working 2) sunbathing on the roof 3) holidaying in Tenerife or 4) drinking Budweiser in the Duck & Firkin. All of which sound pretty livable with to me, although I'd rather substitute the Bud for a vodka and tonic. B)
 
Any problems with the new PC , please avoid these if ringing tech support.



1.Dell is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.

The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

13.
Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
Shad

I do not believe that you slept your way into your new position (although it is possible that you subconsciously flirt with you superiors)


Neither do I think that your female HR boss is promoting "girl power"/tokenism.






















It is obvious to anyone that you must have used blackmail (which can't have been difficult in such a corrupt firm).


Seriously though, congrats and well done.
 
Again, thankyou all very much!

Relks, honey - you know me, all sweetness and light....blackmail?? Moi?? :wub: :lol:
 
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