I Went To The Dentist

  • Thread starter Thread starter Phil Waters
  • Start date Start date
I spoke to a lady I know she had just come out of the bank I was going in, she was with her daughter about 6 yrs old and she said I had to get some money out the tooth fairy is due tonight her daughter showing me a front tooth missing....

I said how much do you give her then ? she said a fiver I said god its certainly changed it was 2-1/2 p in my time he he but I did come from a very poor family.... :o :P :lol:
 
I know I need to go to a dentist....but if I ignore it for long enough the pain will go away....it will it will it will.....
 
No it won't, Aidan. It will develop into a huge abcess which will distort your face into a gigantic, red, agonized, stinking ball of pus. The pus will get into your bloodstream, and cause blood poisoning. You will feel as if your body is on fire, before you fall down in a faint, breaking your wrist in the process. Your respiratory system will begin to fail, and you will start to hallucinate about giant green caterpillars eating you alive. You will ruin your friends' weekend by having to be rushed to hospital for emergency treatment, require a blood transfusion, three weeks on antibiotics, a cast on your wrist, and still have to wait for the swollen jaw to subside before the dentist can look at you and say:

"Now, young man, I hear ye've been having a spot o'trouble with your tooth, have you?"
 
I had a tooth taken out for the first time a couple of years ago. I had thought the whole process would be more refined. As it turned out the nurse held my head down while the dentist got a grip of the tooth with a pliers, wedged his foot againt the leg of the chair and pulled with such force that the tooth crumbled. I felt like I was in a Three Stooges film. Even with the annaesthetic (sp?) I had pain shooting up my face to my eyeballs. After about an hours tugging and sweating the dentist eventually finished the extraction.

I haven't been back since.
 
I did used to enjoy a nice bloody, gory, crumbly extraction in my dental nursing days. Second only to an Apisectomy.
 
Any old enough to remember being knocked out by gas before an extraction? I can still envisage it now. Rubbery mask over the mouth, deep breaths, bright yellow hammer spinning on a pivot making a high-pitched whine. In seconds you were gone. Preferable to Melendez's experience though.

Prevention is definitely better than cure. £25 for 6-monthly examination, scale & polish is a worthwhile investment.

Now then, anyone got a tip for the tooth hurty?
 
Crikey, yes, Ray! So that's what it was - a hammer on a pivot? I thought it was a whirling, sparkling golden circle and the Voice of God: presumably when I was 'coming out' of the gas, the dentist was saying to me I was all right. All I could hear was this huge, metallic, droning voice going allrightallrightallrightallrightallright and I was scared witless that I'd died and was locked into the loop forever! I was never so pleased to spit out blood and gum in my life.

Mel, my dentist recommended to my parents that I have two teeth removed from the upper jaw when I was about 14, because he said that there would be overcrowding if not. So, two extractions to take place on the same day. Only we didn't know it wouldn't be the Gas of God, but horse-sized hypos and a sweating, titanic, bloody struggle like the one you had. The dentist was shaking like a man possessed trying to wrench the first tooth out, using what looked like a Halfords Special Offer Monkey Wrench, then suddenly there was a crack! like a rifle shot, and finally the whole tooth, with a root a baobab tree would be proud of, bloodied but not bowed, appeared.

He then set about attempting to rip the second one out, while I sat more than somewhat dazed by my torturer's efforts. He had a good pull, but I quickly realized the anaesthetic had worn off and yelled "Aaaghleaaagurghaaaghle!", and after a few more tentative wrenches, he reluctantly shot me up again. "I don't want to put too much in," he whimpered. "Aaaghhurrgghh", I replied, which translates as "Put the whole fuckin' pharmacy in, you bastad!"

After another double-handed twist, wrench, twist, wrench, twist, the second gory tooth appeared. I was left to recover (I'm still receiving counselling). "And rinse..." Rinse? My whole head's numb - where the hell's my mouth?

He then tottered off, mopping his brow and lighting up a post-brutality cigarette, and showed the dental remains to my waiting mother, and apologized that I'd not had the easiest of times. "In fact," he opined, gazing in wonderment at the vanquished titans of dentistry in his hand, "if I'd known they had roots like these, I'd have given her gas."
 
It will develop into a huge abcess which will distort your face into a gigantic, red, agonized, stinking ball of pus.

Why doesn't McCririck just admit he never goes to the dentist :brows:
 
I used to ask for gas because I didn't like the idea of an injection. I hated the gas as I was always sick afterwards but to me it was the lesser of two evils. When a new dentist took over the practice he said he wouldn't be using gas so I had to have the jag. I was shocked how painless and boke-free it all was. I've never had a bad experience at the dentist since.
 
My aforementioned lower left 7 was removed today.

Along with another one right next to it. I had an abcess in my tooth last summer and it caused a bit of damage.

Today is the first time in my life I have ever had a tooth removed. It took about 5 minutes for my left side to go numb and he probed me with a sharp thing, telling me it was ok to proceed as if I had felt that I would have gone through the roof.

I hadn't taken into consideration that it was only numbed to the point where I could not feel pain. I could still feel touch. I felt him twist my tooth, I felt it being forced from its socket and pulled out.

Unbelievable feeling and not one I would recommend, if only for its weirdness.

Unfortunately, there is a tooth on the exact opposite position (the right side, same tooth) that will be having the same treatment next Monday.
 
It was the very back one of the bottom left side, and the one in front of that one (the second back one)
 
What a horrible way to spend your Birthday Phil. ;) I bet you are not looking forward to next Monday either.
 
My elder daughter is a dentist. She does all the work on my teeth. Strange feeling, for me at any rate, having a daughter delve into your mouth. Free, of course.
 
Back
Top