trudij
Senior Jockey
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good looking
lady and after the wedding, he laid
down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want, and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
the table unless I tell you that I
won't be home! for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and card-playing when I
want with my old buddies and don't you give me a
hard time about it. Those are my
rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night... whether
you're here or not."
(damn, she's good)
(Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day
of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you
a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies
My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads, "Here
Lies My Husband Stiff At Last."
(he asked for it)
(Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
at the breakfast table. Husband
gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good
in bed either," and storms out of
the house. After sometime he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to! answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(yep, he had that coming, too!)
(Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of
himself, that he starts calling
his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The
man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
find out if his wife is ready to
leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime
you're ready, Father of Four."
(right on, lady!)
God may have created man before woman but there is
always a rough draft before
the masterpiece.
Typical macho man married typical good looking
lady and after the wedding, he laid
down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want, and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
the table unless I tell you that I
won't be home! for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and card-playing when I
want with my old buddies and don't you give me a
hard time about it. Those are my
rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night... whether
you're here or not."
(damn, she's good)
(Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day
of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you
a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies
My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads, "Here
Lies My Husband Stiff At Last."
(he asked for it)
(Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
at the breakfast table. Husband
gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good
in bed either," and storms out of
the house. After sometime he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings, and the irritated husband
says, "what took you so long to! answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(yep, he had that coming, too!)
(Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of
himself, that he starts calling
his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The
man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
find out if his wife is ready to
leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime
you're ready, Father of Four."
(right on, lady!)
God may have created man before woman but there is
always a rough draft before
the masterpiece.