Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Press Release 8/20/06
The FAA, which has in the past banned such objects as toenail
clippers and hair gel, took the extraordinary step of banning people
after the Department of Homeland Security conducted a thorough
investigation of previous terror plots.
"We looked at terror plots of the past, and in each and every case,
people were involved," said Homeland Security Secretary Michael
Chertoff at a Washington press briefing. "These new rules send the
strong message that the FAA has zero tolerance for people."
Chertoff said that while banning liquids from flights was a
constructive step, the only true solution was to ban people
altogether. "Let's face it, hair gel doesn't kill people," he said.
"People kill people."
The Homeland Security secretary acknowledged that the new rules would
curtail Americans' ability to travel, but added, "On the plus side,
that will make them easier for us to spy on."
The FAA's ban on people onboard flights raised questions for the
nation's airlines, which must now ponder what, if anything, their
airplanes will be carrying.
But Davis Logsdon, who studies the airline industry at the University
of Minnesota, said that the FAA's crackdown on people could be a
"win-win" for the airlines: "Maybe if the airlines don't have people
to worry about, they can finally concentrate on getting our luggage
to the right destination."
Can a mod delete this from the jokes thread please..........ta
The FAA, which has in the past banned such objects as toenail
clippers and hair gel, took the extraordinary step of banning people
after the Department of Homeland Security conducted a thorough
investigation of previous terror plots.
"We looked at terror plots of the past, and in each and every case,
people were involved," said Homeland Security Secretary Michael
Chertoff at a Washington press briefing. "These new rules send the
strong message that the FAA has zero tolerance for people."
Chertoff said that while banning liquids from flights was a
constructive step, the only true solution was to ban people
altogether. "Let's face it, hair gel doesn't kill people," he said.
"People kill people."
The Homeland Security secretary acknowledged that the new rules would
curtail Americans' ability to travel, but added, "On the plus side,
that will make them easier for us to spy on."
The FAA's ban on people onboard flights raised questions for the
nation's airlines, which must now ponder what, if anything, their
airplanes will be carrying.
But Davis Logsdon, who studies the airline industry at the University
of Minnesota, said that the FAA's crackdown on people could be a
"win-win" for the airlines: "Maybe if the airlines don't have people
to worry about, they can finally concentrate on getting our luggage
to the right destination."
Can a mod delete this from the jokes thread please..........ta