Phantastic Phantasmagorical Phantasies

simmo

simmo

Senior Jockey
Joined
Mar 4, 2004
Messages
5,843
Location
South Lanarkshire
We haven't had a topic dealing with the surreal since I joined. This must change. Consider this the thread for all of your most surreal thoughts.


I was watching the refrigerator the other and the Eiffel Tower was running amok in the Veldt, slaughtering wildebeest. They sent the elite fluorescent squirrel anti-eiffel-tower-group (AETG) in to sort it out.
 
I do remember the polar bear Mark. He was a lonely sole, pacing back and forward in his mock North Pole enclosure made of white painted concrete, hardly daring to take a swim in the grimey green water that was a sad attempt at a artic ocean recreation. Apparently he died of boredom quite literally, his life prolonged only by the fact that he chose not to follow a career in engineering.

Bristol Zoo hoo hoo hoo
 
"Artic" ocean? No wonder he was bloody bored - he'd been locked up in a refrigerated van, staring at its white walls for 15 years - whaddya expect, an ursine Einstein?

She looked in the mirror again - yes, it WAS true! She was slimmer, taller, and more beautiful than yesterday, when she'd only looked like Grace Kelly. "That's amazing!" she said, and noticed that her voice had taken on an exquisitely modulated, but huskily seductive, tone. She touched her hair - so silky! Her hands, too, were more elegant, her fingers slender and tapered. She looked down at her feet - uh-oh, still a way to go there, then. The leathery pads and the thick white fur were still a bit of a giveaway. But, tomorrow was indeed another day and Sabrina knew that her dreams of leaving her zoo enclosure as The Most Beautiful Woman in the World would come true, just as long as the keeper didn't move the magic mirror...
 
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