Sex Calculator

S

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At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
3,217
Location
Somerset
This is pretty neat.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read ...
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.


1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would
like to have sex
(more than 1 but less than 10 and not 10!!)



2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)




3. Add 5




4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator




5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 ....
If you haven't, add 1755.




6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).


The next two numbers are


YOUR AGE! (Oh yes it is......)


This is the only year (2006) this works! B)
 
I don't want to have sex 0 times, let alone 'at least once'. I don't want sweaty sheets that have to be laundered every day, or even every two days. I don't want someone suddenly yelling out 'Oh, Christ, my back's gone!' just as we get to the interesting bit. I don't want someone lolling all over me, preventing me from rolling around at will, and having to remove inert body parts before I do so. I don't want heavy breathing followed by loud snoring and the occasional shout of "Doreen! Doreen!". I don't want someone else trying to get to the lav at 3.00 am. I certainly don't want to be awake in the morning, pretending to be asleep and hoping to be brought a cup of tea, knowing that my bedmate is doing the same sly thing. <_<








I am 15.
 
:lol: You're right, Uncle G, the real reason is that I'd need to get back to peak fitness levels, drop a few stone in weight, tighten up all over... I might as well stay the blob I am and keep eating chocolate, which supposedly releases the same pleasure endorphins as sex. Mmmm... where's that giant Dairy Milk got to? ;)
 
Clearly someone who's never had sex or chocolate, Uncle G - or, better still, sex AND chocolate. :P







(Oops, that'll no doubt revive old Marianne Faithfull memories among the older members on here!) :shy:
 
UG has been told the story concerning the Mars bar, Mr Jagger and Ms Faithfull - obviously yet another time he wasn't paying any attention when I was talking! :angry:
 
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