The Generation Above Me

  • Thread starter Thread starter Phil Waters
  • Start date Start date
P

Phil Waters

Guest
I have been discussing this with people recently.

All of my friends agree with me that our parents were not educated. None of them. Every single last one of them are racist bigots, homophobic, God-fearing, authority-fearing, know-it-all sinners.

My friend, a Rangers season ticket holder who loves supporting his team and proudly wears his team's shirt quite often, was sitting in my house about 12 years ago (he'd never been in my house before) and my dad, a die-hard Celtic season ticket holder who would hang rosary beads on our front gate as the Orange Walk went by, came in and stood absolutely speechless and wide-eyed when he saw my friend in his Rangers top - IN OUR HOUSE OF GREEN!!!! :o

I must say, I was really embarrassed about this. Being a Dundee Utd season ticket holder myself, I hated both Rangers and Celtic :D. Seriously though, my friend couldn't care less that Celtic was popular in my house, it actually took him a few minutes to realise why my dad banged the kitchen door shut and went out into his garden.

My mum, the local wedding and funeral hymn singer, once said one of the strangest things I have ever heard. My other friend, of Indian origin (totally Scottish though, Indian parents and origins etc), came into my house once and my mum was going to make dinner. She asked if my friend would like some, but he pointed out that he had just eaten a Chinese takeaway. My mum stood frozen in apparent shock with her mouth wide open and said "A Chinese takeaway? You?!?! You ate a Chinese takeaway?!!? Well, that's me heard it all now!"

Another hot facial flush had to be endured by me.

My other friend was too embarrassed to bring his new girlfriend home one night because his dad had onions and garlic on top of the television and pictures of the Eiffel Tower on either side of the TV. Rangers were playing Marseille in the Champions League.

I remember when we were dragged (in a way that would now be illegal) to attend mass on a Sunday, there was a priest who used to alternate between speaking and singing when reading out prayers etc. We all found this completely funny and it was almost unbearable at times, each and every one of us pissing ourselves laughing with our hands covering the snot running down our faces. And every single week without fail, one of our parents would smack us all (it didn't matter who) and we'd all be taken out and punished in some way or another.

The line would always be the same - "show some respect to Jesus in God's house".

Of course, once mass was over you could hear things like "great result yesterday wasn't it....stuffing those Orange B@stards again!"...and..."I was f*cking pished last night...had a f*cking b@stard of a sore head this morning", from all the God-fearing adults.

I think my generation are more advanced, better educated and definitely more tolerant of many situations than those who graced Bellshill's streets before us.

My Auntie Ellen, who died last year (or the year before I think), was a massive Elton John fan. She once said this about him - "Poor Elton. He's a great singer but it's a shame for him. He's gay."

Still haven't found a cure, Auntie Ellen.
 
Sounds like 'Till Death Do Us part', Phil. Were your parents Welsh?

Reminds me of the time my wife took my Mother on a shopping trip in California when my parents visited us. (California is a place where you playback every sentence 3 times before you say it, just in case there are any non PC inferences.)

My old dear was looking at a cardigan in Sears or somewhere, liked the style, but not the colour. She yelled accross to wifey who was at the other side of the section'

'Mrs AC - will you see if they have this in nigger brown?'

Mrs AC got to the car park quicker than Marion Jones would have.
 
Phil, it's been the duty of every child since time immemorial to consider itself superior to its' parents. If you have begotten (as you once implied), ready yourself for being referred to as seven shades of an idiot in about 15 years' time. Your taste in music will be ridiculed, your interest in racing deemed boring and your opinions out of date, but, far more horrifically, your own parents (if still alive) will be considered the sweetest old dears in the world.
 
Hi Phil,
if you are lucky enough to reach Grandfather status you will then be aware that the message board you attend will be populated mostly by young bigots,with the odd matriarch trying,unsuccessfully,to hold them in check. :D
 
krizon,
Remaining after others have been paired or grouped,or; in your case "one in a million" :)
 
Back
Top