The Highways Agency

Warbler

At the Start
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
8,493
These prima donnas are rapidly getting on my nerves poncing around in their 4x4's in mock police livery. Why you ask?

Well I'll tell you. I've slowly come to the conclusion they're operating a secret covert government agenda designed to test the intelligence services ability to paralyse the population's ability to move in the event of a national crisis that requires mass quarantine.

I have quite rationally and reasonably explained in the past that all Oxfordshire motorists (or strictly speaking natives of Oxfordshire) should be summarily disqualified from driving due to their inability to keep a car on the paddock. 5 times in the last 9 days now either the A34 or junction 9 of the M40 has been closed due to a crash causing massive delays and traffic jams.

On closer inspection though I'm increasingly holding these health and safety fascists from the Highways Agency responsible for their over zealous closure of roads for an absolute eternity whilst they set about measuring things, photographing things, talking with each other, standing on the tarmac with their hands cupped to thin chins contemplating something. For Gods sake its an RTA, sweep it to the bloody side of the road and let the insurance companies haggle over it.

Example 1 - a lorry over turns on the infamous junction 9 (its not a difficult or conjested section to drive 9 to 10, but just listen to the Radio 5 traffic reports and clock how many times you hear it mentioned - usually with the words A34, Bicester, Banbury, Botley or Peartree attached to it). Some what puzzlingly its the second most crashed stretch of road in the South East of England. Anyway, the Highways Agency respond by closing access to the M40 North? The over turned vehicle is on the South side of the island? It doesn't affect anybody heading North. Keeping that escape valve open actually reduces conjestion, closing it adds to it. shrug::

Example 2 - Apparently some scaffolding fell from a lorry onto a motorway today (I think it was the M6) The Highways Agency close it for approximately 6 hours whilst they clear it up. For Gods sake you pillocks, its scaffolding, a hazardous substance i could understand, but steel tubes and a few bolts shrug::

Example 3 - At 2.40am a man is knocked down crossing the M40, now obviously this has ruined his night out, and one has to assume he's either dead or very badly injured. 8 hours later the Highways Agency have still got lanes closed whilst they investigate. Why? This doesn't look difficult to solve, its not as if there's a multi vehicle pile up. The guy was in hospital long ago. What can there possibly be left to investigate? He's walked across a motorway, he's been hit, he's been recovered. What can they possibly be hoping to find on the carrigeway by way of evidence that the body/ or car can't provide. shrug::

Example 4 - I recently contemplated going to Cartmel. I thought that's a longish journey though, I'm not sure I'd make it. It meant I had to tackle the M40 and M6 for prolonged periods and the chances of there not being a motorway closure at the hands of the Highways Agency finally deterred me. I waited listening to the radio for it to be announced. When it did it was 10.30, and this time it was the M6. I can't remember the reason, but it remained closed all day and I wouldn't have made it. It felt like I was suffering some kind of traffic based apartheid where my government is consciously restricting my freedom to travel!!!

Example 5 - Today I had them back. On Monday I noticed the weather forecast was for rain. Urm...... No chance I thought, and arranged to work at home on Tuesday. Rain equals crash on the A34, equals closure of the A34, equals very late start!!! Sure enough I started work at 8.00, most of my colleagues at about 11.30 to 12.00


So, just move the accident to the side of the road, check on the drivers legality, and get the roads moving again. I daren't think how much damage to the economy the Highways Agency are doing since they took over responsibility from the police. Political Correctness can be annoying, but it is at least something of a parody. I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that Health and Safety is much more sinister. It's being used as an excuse to restrict our freedoms and fuel our bureaucracies. Where as PC can get on your nerves, it can at least make you smile. H&S is designed to disrupt and is ultimately much more damaging
 
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