Tornado In Brum
- Thread starter PDJ
- Start date
Tout Seul
Senior Jockey
- Joined
- May 2, 2003
- Messages
- 2,628
When my wife first mentioned it she didn't know what damage had been done. my first response was "it's the wrath of God cleansing that evil place". Ooops!
Seriously these weather related occurences are becoming scary.In Mumbai a metre of rain fell in one day. :blink:
Seriously these weather related occurences are becoming scary.In Mumbai a metre of rain fell in one day. :blink:
Diamond Geezer
Gone But Not Forgotten
- Joined
- May 2, 2003
- Messages
- 13,884
Glad you survived Paul, here's a poem to cheer you up 
Yo’ con see ‘um on a Sat’dee,
A’wundrin’ roun’ like sheep,
Theyre fairces lung an’ mis’rable,
Theyre eyes arf shut wi’ sleep;
A’looded up wi’ parcels,
An’ shappin’ bags an’ all,
While theyre misuses stand gassin’
Aroun’ the market stall.
It meks me sad ter see ‘em theer,
A’wairstin ‘arf theyre life,
Jus’ draggin’ round wi’ shappin’ bags,
Ter please a naggin’ wife;
That’s why these ‘ere men snuff it
Much suener than they should,
‘Cos the treatment o’ theyre womenfolk
‘As nipped ‘em in the bud.
A pal o’ mine naime Paulie Joones
Who’s arf the size o’ me,
Wairks ‘arder wickends when ‘e’s ‘um
Then when ‘e wairks wi’ we,
It’s ‘Will yo’ fatch the groc’ry ?’
An’ ‘Goo an’ get the maite !’
Then ‘Dew that bowl o’ washin’ up!’
No wunder ‘e’s lost weight.
Ar’ve ‘ad a bit o’ common sense,
Ar’m ‘appy an’ carefree;
Mar mother goz aroun’ the shaps,
‘Er’s got respec’ fer me.
Why on’y th’ other Sat’dee,
‘Er said ‘Yo’ sit yer down,
An’ peel them few pertairters,
While ar goo up the town.’
An’ when ‘er cum back wi’ the bagss
Ar jumped up right away,
Bur ‘er says ‘Do’e yo’ fret yerself
Jus’ mek a cup o’ tae.’
Ar went ter cook the dinner,
Bur ‘er says ‘No yo’ wo’,
Yo’ goo an’ mek the beds, mar mon,
This aye no job fer yo!’
Why, bless yer life, ‘er’s shappin’ now,
An’ ar’m ‘ere nice an’ snug;
Ar’ve on’y gorra dust the rewm,
An’ sweep the blewmin’ rug,
An’ when ar’ve dun the washin’,
Ar’ll ger’ all shairved an’ slicked
An goo’n goo up the pictures,
‘Cos I aye womanlicked
Yo’ con see ‘um on a Sat’dee,
A’wundrin’ roun’ like sheep,
Theyre fairces lung an’ mis’rable,
Theyre eyes arf shut wi’ sleep;
A’looded up wi’ parcels,
An’ shappin’ bags an’ all,
While theyre misuses stand gassin’
Aroun’ the market stall.
It meks me sad ter see ‘em theer,
A’wairstin ‘arf theyre life,
Jus’ draggin’ round wi’ shappin’ bags,
Ter please a naggin’ wife;
That’s why these ‘ere men snuff it
Much suener than they should,
‘Cos the treatment o’ theyre womenfolk
‘As nipped ‘em in the bud.
A pal o’ mine naime Paulie Joones
Who’s arf the size o’ me,
Wairks ‘arder wickends when ‘e’s ‘um
Then when ‘e wairks wi’ we,
It’s ‘Will yo’ fatch the groc’ry ?’
An’ ‘Goo an’ get the maite !’
Then ‘Dew that bowl o’ washin’ up!’
No wunder ‘e’s lost weight.
Ar’ve ‘ad a bit o’ common sense,
Ar’m ‘appy an’ carefree;
Mar mother goz aroun’ the shaps,
‘Er’s got respec’ fer me.
Why on’y th’ other Sat’dee,
‘Er said ‘Yo’ sit yer down,
An’ peel them few pertairters,
While ar goo up the town.’
An’ when ‘er cum back wi’ the bagss
Ar jumped up right away,
Bur ‘er says ‘Do’e yo’ fret yerself
Jus’ mek a cup o’ tae.’
Ar went ter cook the dinner,
Bur ‘er says ‘No yo’ wo’,
Yo’ goo an’ mek the beds, mar mon,
This aye no job fer yo!’
Why, bless yer life, ‘er’s shappin’ now,
An’ ar’m ‘ere nice an’ snug;
Ar’ve on’y gorra dust the rewm,
An’ sweep the blewmin’ rug,
An’ when ar’ve dun the washin’,
Ar’ll ger’ all shairved an’ slicked
An goo’n goo up the pictures,
‘Cos I aye womanlicked
Diamond Geezer
Gone But Not Forgotten
- Joined
- May 2, 2003
- Messages
- 13,884
News that a Birmingham Tornado Appeal has been created
A tornado hit Birmingham recently causing widespread damage,
Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying 'bang out of order',
'mental' and 'that did my head in'. The tornado decimated the area
causing in excess of £7.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were destroyed. Many locals were woken before their Giro's arrived.One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith a 15 year old mother of four said 'It was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running into my bedroom crying and my hands were shaking that much I could hardly skin up whilst I was watching Trisha'.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous 'Elizabeth Duke'
sovereigns, benefit books, bone china from Poundstretcher and Argos catalogues. However they have not managed to save any furniture from
Crazy George's as yet.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is
most sought after. Urgently needed are LaCoste tracksuits (his and hers
preferably), white socks, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok
trainers. Food parcels are also needed. They include McCain's
Micro-chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch and Iceland Pizzas. Alcohol is
also in short supply, especially White lightening Cider and Carlsberg
Special Brew. Cash Donations are also needed. 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on, 2.50 buys a jumbo sausage dinner, 3.00 buys a blag CD (not an original copy), 20 buys a fake M.O.T (or 10 gallons of red diesel to burn the vehicle out) and 26.00 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
A tornado hit Birmingham recently causing widespread damage,
Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying 'bang out of order',
'mental' and 'that did my head in'. The tornado decimated the area
causing in excess of £7.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were destroyed. Many locals were woken before their Giro's arrived.One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith a 15 year old mother of four said 'It was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running into my bedroom crying and my hands were shaking that much I could hardly skin up whilst I was watching Trisha'.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous 'Elizabeth Duke'
sovereigns, benefit books, bone china from Poundstretcher and Argos catalogues. However they have not managed to save any furniture from
Crazy George's as yet.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is
most sought after. Urgently needed are LaCoste tracksuits (his and hers
preferably), white socks, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok
trainers. Food parcels are also needed. They include McCain's
Micro-chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch and Iceland Pizzas. Alcohol is
also in short supply, especially White lightening Cider and Carlsberg
Special Brew. Cash Donations are also needed. 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on, 2.50 buys a jumbo sausage dinner, 3.00 buys a blag CD (not an original copy), 20 buys a fake M.O.T (or 10 gallons of red diesel to burn the vehicle out) and 26.00 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
:lol: :lol: Sounds a bit!! or a lot like the Bronx....... here where I live............. 
A
Ardross
Guest
DG :lol: :lol: :lol:
I understand that many Brummies have been heard saying " I have considerably more roof than yow"
I understand that many Brummies have been heard saying " I have considerably more roof than yow"
Shadow Leader
At the Start
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2003
- Messages
- 9,884
Very good DG! :lol: :lol: :lol: