Try This At Work

BrianH

At the Start
Joined
May 3, 2003
Messages
6,108
Location
Banstead, Surrey
ONE-POINT DARES

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed

2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.

6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS DARES

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".

5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
 
I'm actually quite fond of groaning in the toilets, just to freak people out. I wouldn't worry about that one - they'll never leave before you do anyway.
 
Originally posted by krizon@Apr 19 2005, 11:43 PM
Under 5-Point Dares, No.15: Please, what is a vacuum cleaner?
Yes, it cost me a lot yesterday to hoover the stairs :angy: :angy: :angy:
 
Well here's a few idea's to make it more interesting when out shopping

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in Housewares" and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"
 
DG - reference No.4: now that we have a qualified chap installed as our main security and safety officer at racemeetings at Brighton and Fontwell, he's ditched the previous alarm codes, which were to have been transmitted by radio in the event of any 'incident'.

So, we no longer have to remember which particular mammal indicated 'Fire' (that was a ferret, as in 'There's a small Ferret in the Grandstand Ladies Loo'); or 'Bomb' (a 'possible Badger in the Owners Bar'); and suspect parcels were to be termed thus: 'suspect Polecat has been left in the Members cloakroom'.

You just couldn't make it up, could you? (Well, in your case, there's probably an exception!) :D
 
Do you not have "code red" and "code black"

Red being for someone having a fag in the no smoking area and black being for anything else.

Oh and a Phase 4 - for tests.
 
We're only racecourse staff, Martin - not the SAS! The main 'security' is provided by a small group of off-duty fireman (and rather gorgeous they are, too), not Black Ops. Yet... :ph34r:
 
Try this with your Boss.(men only)

Urinate throught the keyhole of his office door.

Knock.

When he/she answers.

Ask if he/she noticed a short shower.
 
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