'twas The Night Before Christmas...

[Songsheet]

Right, we need some Christmas Spirit on this forum and so let's start a new novella..... and it HAS to rhyme!!

'Twas the night before Christmas and down in the yard
Everything was dozing - except the night guard.......

 

[Triptych]

And then, from the darkness, he heard a strange sound,
Could it be a sleigh, landing on the ground?

 

[Colin Phillips]

Darkness, of course

Is Egerton's horse.......

 

[Dave G]

He crept from his post to go take a look, and down from his lap slipped Dick Francis' latest book.

 

[Bar the Bull]

Santa stepped off his sleigh and rubbed his sore bunions,
And went down the chimney to deliver Gareth his onions.

 

[Colin Phillips]

Is Gareth an onion eater as well?
Perhaps this to Kathy we should tell

 

[Harbinger]

Beautiful onions, I know you so well...
But why do you have to leave such a smell?

 

[simmo]

" 'tis to ward off evil, and things of the night"
said Santa to Gareth and gave him a fright

 

[Homer J]

CLUMP

 

[PDJ]

What a dump
cried the big lump

 

[Desert Orchid]

after doing a big jobby
on the floor in the lobby

 

[simmo]

then he tripped over the poo
and died of Bird Flu(e).

 

[del boy]

Was this the end of the one they call "san nick",
no, turns out twas thommo, dressed up the p*rick.

 

[Dave G]

"Santa is ill" he cried, "don't you know, and who better to get to do 'Ho Ho HO'".

 

[del boy]

With a swift bob to my left, i smigged him with a punch,
and the Red clad eejit fell threw the gate with a crunch.

 

[Songsheet]

Muttering darkly, he picked himself up
And, grabbing 140 anti-biotics from the shelf, ...

 

[del boy]

i thought Do us a favour and take the lot,
then remembered big mac, and thought hed better not.
The big hairy fool would be heart broken,
and could take a vow of silence, no more rantings to be spoken!!

And in the distance came a mad man on a horse he could hardly steer,
he came closer, it was paul carberry chasing the rheindeer!!
He rode upsides and prepared to land on the biggest and boldest buck,
"NO,what about the king george paul",i cried, the reply,"who gives a f*ck".

And as he bounced of the buck and landed on his head,
i decided to back ruby in the big race instead,
cos we all remeber what happened paul on harchi on leopardstown,
he banged his head, and lost his marbles and thought he was a clown!!!

 

[Desert Orchid]

Originally posted by Songsheet@Dec 13 2005, 01:41 PM
Muttering darkly, he picked himself up
And, grabbing 140 anti-biotics from the shelf, ...

Those lines are a crime
As they simply don't rhyme

So watch yourself, Jules
And stick to your rules.

 

[Ardross]

She may have lots of lolly
I imagine it was the Bolly

That broke her rhyme
Although she is in her prime

 

[Gearoid]

Or in the part of the month
that is a bad time

 

[krizon]

Inane, and tasteless. Get off with ye. Ardross - this has become drivel. Get rid of it, now.