Very Interesting Stuff!

Merlin the Magician

Merlin the Magician

At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
3,556
Location
SOUTH WALES
VERY INTERESTING STUFF



In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'



-------------------------------------------



Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.



-------------------------------------------



The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.



-------------------------------------------



Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.



-------------------------------------------



Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.



-------------------------------------------



Coca-Cola was originally green.



-------------------------------------------



It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Bet you just tried?

-------------------------------------------


The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: £32,800

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:

61,000

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.



------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.



------------------------------------------------------------------------

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.



------------------------------------------------------------------------

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:



Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

------------------------------------------------------------------------

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


-------------------------------------------------------------- ----------



Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?



A. Obsession

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?



A. All were invented by women.



------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?



A. Honey

---- --------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?



A. Father's Day

------------------------------------------------------------





In Shakespeare's time, mattr esses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'



------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a hon ey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.



------------------------------------------------------------------------

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'



It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'



------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.



------------------------------------------------------------------------




Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it .



I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?



------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...



1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.



2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.



3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.



4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.



5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.



6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.



7. Ever y commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen



8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.



10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.



11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )



12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.



13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.



14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.



15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
 
Interesting alright - I'd quibble two of them though Merlin! :D

Firstly Caesar was never a king; he refused to become one and was only ever dictator as he refused to take up the mantle of Emperor.

The one about the statues I know slightly differently - if the two legs are on the ground then I was led to believe that it meant that they died in office rather than of an injury, and I also believe it applies to the statues in London rather than a blanket rule, as such.
 
I think that the Golf one is probably wrong too.

Gareth Flynn will be along soon with his customary link to Snopes :P
 
The one about the statues was mentioned on QI very recently. It was dismissed as tosh.

I'd imagine half of those are not true either.

Interesting read, though! :)
 
The one about licking your elbow isn't true either...I know 2 people who can do it, one who I've seen do it many times and the other says they can but I've never seen...
 
THE REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the
squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel' s taxes are reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.

The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they have tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END

In addition the squirrel decides enough is enough and sells up everything he owns goes to live in Spain !
 
Back
Top