Gearoid,
You are a young man called to enjoy the destiny of millions. Face it full on, without hesitation or sidestepping, and embrace it heartily. Stop arsing about and trying to get sober now and then. That's a pointless waste of vital energy and resources. You must accept the Fate prescribed for you by the Great Spirit (no, not the one in the sky, although Skye produces a damn good one) and remain permanently, steadily, and pleasingly drunk.
There, that's removed the awful stress of trying to sober up, hasn't it? Now you can look forward to a lifetime (not necessarily a lot shorter than anyone else's, unless you forget which way the traffic's going) spent in the warm glow of perpetual snockeredness.
Good luck, young man - remember, you've got a lot of fine Irish reputations to live up to. Don't let the mother country down!
Auntie K
(Never mind the usual £25 consultation fee, just bung me a Bailey's.)