Words Of Wisdom

[walsworth]

It has taken me many years to discover something that may be common knowledge to many people.

If you examine a jam doughnut carefully around it's circumference, you can find the entry wound where the jam has been inserted. If you place the doughnut into your mouth with this towards you, when you chomp down the jam will squirt into you mouth, rather than down your shirt.

I may add more exciting items of interest later, after I've had a lie down.

 

[2017diary]

It has taken me many years to discover something that may be common knowledge to many people.

If you examine a jam doughnut carefully around it's circumference, you can find the entry wound where the jam has been inserted. If you place the doughnut into your mouth with this towards you, when you chomp down the jam will squirt into you mouth, rather than down your shirt.

I may add more exciting items of interest later, after I've had a lie down.

Alternatively if you took your false teeth out before tackling one you may be able to experience that "melt in your mouth" feeling.

 

[Ian_Davies]

I wish you'd told me this years ago, Walsey - it would have saved countless extra laundry days!

 

[Desert Orchid]

Jam doughnuts wouldn't be my thing but I can see me attacking one exactly as described by Walsworth.

I'm more of a fried eggs kinda guy and I much prefer them very runny and my MO when eating them is to cut away [and eat] all the white with other elements of the breakfast then put the remaining part of the egg, ie the yolk, in my mouth whole, so as not to waste any of it by leaving any trace on the plate or indeed on my shirt.

That said, 'dinner medals' are a badge of honour among my family.

 

[Ian_Davies]

Jam doughnut to fried egg thread hijack alert!

 

[2017diary]

Jam doughnut to fried egg thread hijack alert!

I'll not mention being slapped around the face when I'm eating spaghetti then

 

[maureen]

But can you eat one without licking your lips…?

 

[Desert Orchid]

Enough of your sex life, Mo...

 

[walsworth]

Someone always lowers the tone, usually me but you beat me to it.

Moving on:
Never pick your nose when driving down a road with speed bumps.

 

[Ian_Davies]

I liked the jam doughnut advice more tbf.

 

[trudij]

But PLEASE make sure it’s a proper jam doughnut with real sugar on, not this powdered shite that so many places use these days.

 

[maureen]

Is that xylitol which is deadly poisonous to dog?

 

[trudij]

I don’t know, but it’s horrible. Donuts / doughnuts should be crunchy cooked and crunchy sugar !!

 

[Desert Orchid]

I presumed it was just icing sugar.

Geez, this talk about doughnuts (tell the American spelling to fck right off) takes me back to my days at secondary school. A bakery chain well known in the central belt opened up a new branch in the high street and had a doughnut-making machine in the front window.

That was my school lunch for about a month. I must have put on half a stone in that time.

 

[2017diary]

I presumed it was just icing sugar.

Geez, this talk about doughnuts (tell the American spelling to fck right off) takes me back to my days at secondary school. A bakery chain well known in the central belt opened up a new branch in the high street and had a doughnut-making machine in the front window.

That was my school lunch for about a month. I must have put on half a stone in that time.

Is that half a stone a ballpark figure?

 

[trudij]

That would be a LOT of doughnuts on top of your daily calorie need - good work!

 

[walsworth]

Improve your grammar. Think long and hard, before using an innuendo.

 

[walsworth]

Don’t play leap frog with a Unicorn.

 

[Desert Orchid]

That would be a LOT of doughnuts on top of your daily calorie need - good work!

I had an appetite like a labrador's back then.

 

[walsworth]

Never play poker with a man called Doc.