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You just wait until the revolution, there’ll be no more of that foreign crap allowed, you will have to eat chicken tikka massala and spaghetti bolognaise.

That'll make you fart.

Strange thing is that I prefer to watch flat racing but betting wise have more success with jumps.

I've had a bad day, not unusual for me on a Saturday. I keep saying that I will stop betting on Saturdays but still don't learn.

He's full of something but not sarcasm!

You’ve piqued my interest now, will have another think about laying. When I make my long list of possible selections, 12 or 15 normally, I only end up backing 2 or 3. The ones that I reject may provide lays.

Been up half the night with the Ballroom Blitz.

Well done, I have tried laying many times but it always ended badly. Discipline let me down.

Permission to be sick, Mr Mainwaring?

Trainers of interest today. Chamings, P R Dunne, M Elliott, Gordon Newland, Dr R D P Owen, J P Tate, James

I always thought she was weird. I vaguely remember the chap you mean Ian, he was certainly obsessed.

Just taken the first one, just as I remember it!!!

They haven’t told me a reason but I’m halfway through a chemo cycle.

Had a blood test on Monday at local hospital. Received a call from UCLH telling me to go to A&E as my electrolyte levels were low. I have been checked over including an ECG and sent home with a prescription for Sando K, I have had this before it tastes absolutely foul. I have been feeling very...

What’s a Gaylord?

3.40 Uttoxeter Olivers Travels 4.4 6.00 Wolverhampton Grey Jaguar 2.3

My most humble apologies Effendi! May the flies of a thousand camels infest my Y-Fronts!

Thought that was Ian Davis?

I saved a young lady's life today, she was preparing to throw herself off a cliff. I said, "Any chance of a quicky before you jump? She called me a dirty old pervert and told me to get lost I said "OK I'll just wait for you at the bottom." She changed her mind!

Suddenly remembered this. Bowen, Mickey Dunne, M Newland, Dr R D P Owen, J P Tate, James