A Cold,"cliquey" Forum

M

mark

At the Start
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Messages
215
I have been on this forum for a few weeks and would like to share with you what have I observed. Well, many of you seem to belong to a "clique", you tend to be most unwelcoming to new comers, some of you, not all I may add, sometimes ignore threads or posts made by those new to the forum and I am not especially referring to any I have made.

Before you say it, "you can go elsewhere" yes, of course I can, and in all likelyhood this will be my course of action, many of you have met in person from what I can gather, "well, bloody good for you" but, I can tell you from personal experience, and also from what I have read in the archives, new members to this forum feel very much out in the cold, I assume this does not bother some of you, you may think "what the hell" they can **** off, but should you not be looking to the long term of this forum? The evolution of any forum is "new blood".

I have been very cowardly abused on this forum, this is what I hate about the internet, obviously, one of the ways people do converse on the net is via forums like this, but I have found people use the net for verbal attacks that they would not dream of in real life.

I have been abused on the net (I am not refering to this forum) with people making both verbal and physical threats some years ago, I have then met these people, and I have thought to myself "well, come on then, I am only standing here" what do they do? well, they won't even face me, they turn cowardly and walk away.

Even though I felt this forum a little unwelcoming when I first joined, I thought it could be just me, so decided to give it a go and tried to post more, to get involved, but look where that got me - I then get verbally abused by someone called Ricko. PDJ made a comment that he was being honourable but I find the idea that he was "standing up for his female friend" only confirms the "Clique" element on this forum, surely female members should be treated no different to the males? My attitude is simple, If you want to play with the boys then toughen up.

My wife is a prime example, she can "mix it" with the best on any forum, most of the other members in many cases being men, infact, she can give better than she receives.

I honestly could not give a damn if through my honesty I am banned from this forum through having an opinion, I can't help but think if your face fits your welcome, but if it doesn't, it's an attitude of "Go take a hike"? The only advice I would give (take it or leave it) is that "Cliques" on forums (and this forum certainly has one) can be its destruction and spoils the whole idea of sharing any interest.

Mark
 
Speaking of multiple threads.........

In all honesty, if what Ricko said to you in that thread was enough to drive you this far round the bend, then you need to get a thicker skin. If memory serves me, were you not the one who went apesh1t over your thread being "ignored"?
 
Originally posted by Flagship uberalles@Jun 6 2005, 01:26 AM
If memory serves me, were you not the one who went apesh1t over your thread being "ignored"?
Click to expand...

Actually, I didn't complain about my thread being ignored, I made a point that I had already started a thread on the same topic earlier. I did have people replying, so to say I went "ape" over it is somehwhat over dramatic.

It seems though that you agree to an extent that newcomers are ignored, I am glad you noticed. So you should understand my point about it being an unfriendly place.

As for having a thicker skin, personal abuse on forums is still in my view unacceptable, it is easy to behave in such a way when sitting behind a monitor these days! People are far more likely to be offensive on the net than in real life, it doesn't make it right.

As far as your remark regarding "speaking of multiple threads" - I had already explained that when I went to post I kept getting an error message and thought the post had not hit the board, no need to be sarcastic.
 
Originally posted by mark@Jun 6 2005, 02:22 AM
"My posts were directed to Triptych - he has apologised and answered, it's done and dusted - not your business is it Ricko babe!!!"

"My attitude is simple, If you want to play with the boys then toughen up."
Click to expand...
If it's done and dusted - why mention it on this thread?

Basically, you are making a mountain out of sweet F.A. This forum isn't unfriendly at all, it's just the same as anywhere else in real life - when you encounter new people in a new situation, you don't necessarily fit in straight away!

As for people not replying to some of your posts - it doesn't mean they haven't read it. Do you need a reply to every single post as a matter of course? Quite often, threads develop into conversations between 1 or 2 regular posters. It's easy to see how the odd reply can get lost here and there.

You should perhaps follow your own advice above. This forum is a place of cutting wit and sarcasm; think skins and easily bruised egos are things you quickly get shed of :rolleyes:
 
It is done and dusted as far as the other thread is concerned. I mentioned it on this thread to give just one example of why I felt this wasn't such a friendly forum.

I can't agree with this statement you made "This forum isn't unfriendly at all, it's just the same as anywhere else in real life" - forums are nothing like real life, I agree there is a period of getting to know a person, but I really couldn't see people throwing abuse or insults to people face to face on a whim as they do on the internet. Neither do people in real life butt in when two people are having a disagreement yet on the net it seems the done thing.

Obviously I have been brought up very differently to some, I was always taught to have manners and be polite, seems many people on forums lack this basic courteous behaviour.

Somewhat of a contradiction here " This forum is a place of cutting wit and sarcasm" - sarcasium is the lowest form of wit - Oscar Wilde, hardly cutting wit.
 
Mark, hang in there I know sometimes these forums seem as if we are made to feel unwelcome, but as I have said before the written word is just that its there in black and white its hard to decipher what was meant behind the words sometimes. In that I mean was it written with humour, anger or just as an observation. Also what mood are we in when we read the words.
Personally I couldn't care less if people do or don't reply to my postings, I read eveyone else's input so feel I should put something in as well even it is mostly utter rubbish.
 
Mark

Thank you for your observations - as long as you are polite and non-abusive when making your criticims (valid or not) then there is no way you'll get banned - it is very rude of you to imply that this type of censorship takes place on here.

It doesn't.

It's only in the few months we have even taken the step of actually banning posters - because for some bizarre reason, we experienced an influx of trolls who managed to wind up a couple of people on here that (at best) were borderline most of the time and tipped over what was deemed acceptable by the majority on here. There was a rise in personally abusive posts with the inevitable results.

Of course your posts will get ignored from time-to-time - so do mine, Brian's, Krizon's, Maurice's etc etc. We don't get into hissy fits when they are or if we're disagreed with. Well, maybe I do every now and then but in general, it's a reasonably even-tempered sort of forum....

Though if you ignore An Capall your PC will mysteriously go into meltdown..... B)

As to your derisory comments about cliques and the forum self-destructing, thank you for that. After some seven years or so, I suppose it may happen - certainly we have periods when us cliquey kinda guys don't post for a while - often we return, sometimes we don't but the forum seems to just keep on going regardless.
Weird, huh?

I hope you do decide to remain and continue to post - I'm sorry if many of us do appear to be overly sarcastic - it no doubt does stem from the fact that many of us on here have met subsequently since joining this forum and without doubt, do slip into a familiar routine probably without realising that it could be construed as 'cliquey' or 'unfriendly' - in the main it is unintentional.

Believe me, if you really piss one of us off, there's never any doubt about it! :lol:
 
Mark, I have made, what are we up to now, something like 1000 posts on here. All of them have been ignored. I like it. It turns me on.
 
Mark you are my hero. I totally agree with you on everything. As you might of noticed i've been abused from the minute i started on her because i paranoid few are convinced i'm some girl who got banned from. There's a definately clique on here and newbies just seem to not be welcome for some bizarre reason.
 
Mark, you have made a fair amount of postings in the 4 months since you joined, and other than the "duplicated thread" one, I haven't seen any signs of you being ignored, albeit, I don't think I have directly responded to any of your posts. Stick around, it isn't that bad.

Singspiel, I can't imagine that you are the banned jejequade, as you wouldn't have been allowed to re-register under a different name from the same group of ip addressess. I think the problem with you is not so much you being a newbie, it's more to do with the shite you spout.
 
Mark, I forget posts as soon as I have read them so forgive me when I say that the mail recollection of your contributions so far was the postings involving your concerns on your son's behaviour. My recollection is that is was sincere and heartfelt and that the interaction from the forum was warm and supportive.

I have been a stakeholder here(ish) for about 7 years and regularly get a cyber whupping - it's part of the attraction.

I always believe that when someone raises a problem of relative insignificance it is usually a misdirection of anger because there is something big and bad going on behind it. I hope it works out for you.
 
Originally posted by Dave G@Jun 6 2005, 08:53 AM
Mark, you have made a fair amount of postings in the 4 months since you joined, and other than the "duplicated thread" one, I haven't seen any signs of you being ignored, albeit, I don't think I have directly responded to any of your posts. Stick around, it isn't that bad.

Singspiel, I can't imagine that you are the banned jejequade, as you wouldn't have been allowed to re-register under a different name from the same group of ip addressess. I think the problem with you is not so much you being a newbie, it's more to do with the shite you spout.
Click to expand...
Opinions are individual. Nobody forces you to agree with others. Compared to a site called ohracing (Halling on there) this has too many nasty people on here for it to be a good forum.
 
As a newbie here a year or so ago, I have to say I've found this place very friendly. I lurked for ages before starting to post regularly, so I got to know who was who before I got stuck in. It's the only forum I've ever joined (and there's been a few!) where I got welcome PMs within a few hours of my first post. One member even posted me some info I was after at his own expense. Can't say fairer than that.
 
Originally posted by Dave G@Jun 6 2005, 08:53 AM
Mark, you have made a fair amount of postings in the 4 months since you joined, and other than the "duplicated thread" one, I haven't seen any signs of you being ignored, albeit, I don't think I have directly responded to any of your posts. Stick around, it isn't that bad.

Singspiel, I can't imagine that you are the banned jejequade, as you wouldn't have been allowed to re-register under a different name from the same group of ip addressess. I think the problem with you is not so much you being a newbie, it's more to do with the shite you spout.
Click to expand...
Absolutely PMSL :lol:
 
Originally posted by mark@Jun 6 2005, 04:06 AM
Obviously I have been brought up very differently to some, I was always taught to have manners and be polite, seems many people on forums lack this basic courteous behaviour.



Click to expand...
Yet you talk about peoples' chins hitting the pavement - the height of polite
behaviour.

Looking back to your first post on that fateful "Oaks" thread - if you;d have posted that to me and I was in Tryptych's position, I'd have laughed my bollocks off at you (which would have been anatomically impossible for her). It really is one of the biggest overreactions I have ever seen. Which from what I have seen of the rest of your posts seems out of character. They seem well thought out and reasoned - and most of them seem to have been replied to as far as I can tell.

You are right in a way - this forum isn't like other forums, it's more like real life in many ways. I haven#'t personally met any here in the flesh, but it's clear from those who have and who have been here for many years that there are many close friendships. I also realise that this may seem intimidating - but give it a chance before getting het up about it.

I wouldn't include myself as one of "the in-crowd" - I'm more of a part-timer.
 
Ok then....

"Sarcasm is a form of irony that is widely used in English especially when people are being humorous. Generally the sarcastic speaker or writer means the exact opposite of the word they use, often intending to be rude or to laugh at the person the words are addressed to."

See how nice and helpful people can be on this forum mark? ;)

(I also provided an example of sarcasm too - what a guy, what a guy).
 
Back
Top