A Cold,"cliquey" Forum

I post occasionally, mostly during the proper NH season. I have generally found it to be a friendly, good humoured and entertaining place. OK some people know each other well and this tends to come across in some of the banter, but I've found that people add comments to what I say -- even if they think I'm writing a load of old tosh.

Sometimes people just ignore what I have to say. But, hey, that's life.

Re Brendan Powell. Likewise, I couldn't think of anything interesting to ask. But I'm sure I'd have a point once the proper season starts.


It's a lot busier than the racingforum. I know some people will disagree, but Mr Davies still has some interesting points to make.
 
I'd like to add my opinion if you don't mind.

I joined here a few months ago and I love racing and only wanted to join to hopefully enjoy more of the kind of interesting and friendly views I have met with on other forums.

Like Watson Lake I have been a regular on other forums over the years and never had any trouble. I haven't had any trouble here, nor have I looked for it. However of all the forums I've joined I have to admit I find this one occasionally cold and not as welcoming.

This is not necesarily down to any certain people - and I know there are reasons for the tight moderation on here but sometimes it is stifling and very extreme. I would also like to stress that some people have made me very welcome and I'm very grateful for this as I do like this forum and the level of intelligence of the posts. However this place has a long way to go before becoming my favourite racing forum of choice (truly galling for you I'm sure lol)

Basically I just like to see people taking things in a good sense of humour where reasonable and getting on! :)
 
Originally posted by Songsheet+Jun 6 2005, 06:29 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Songsheet @ Jun 6 2005, 06:29 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Mark
Thank you for your observations - as long as you are polite and non-abusive when making your criticims (valid or not) then there is no way you'll get banned - it is very rude of you to imply that this type of censorship takes place on here.

It doesn't.

It's only in the few months we have even taken the step of actually banning posters -

I hope you do decide to remain and continue to post - I'm sorry if many of us do appear to be overly sarcastic - it no doubt does stem from the fact that many of us on here have met subsequently since joining this forum and without doubt, do slip into a familiar routine probably without realising that it could be construed as 'cliquey' or 'unfriendly' - in the main it is unintentional.
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Songsheet, I joined this forum quite sometime before I posted, I spent time reading the archives and it was pretty obvious that this forum had previously had its fair share of troublemakers, so it's not quite true that the forum doesn't have some kind of censorship. This doesn't worry me at all, I did not join with the intention of causing trouble so that made no difference. However, I have read the rules of this forum and it does seem that some members are kept under strict reins while others are allowed to get away with abuse.

The fact that many of the members have met shouldn't really make any difference but for newcomers, at least for me, it does appear to make the place a little less welcoming.

Originally posted by Flagship uberalles@Jun 6 2005, 09:31 AM

Yet you talk about peoples' chins hitting the pavement - the height of polite
behaviour.
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Flagship, I agree talking about people's chins hitting the pavement isn't very polite, and I do consider myself generally a polite person, but that doesn't mean that if I find myself personally attacked I will back down, I treat people how they treat me.
While at work today I discussed this issue about personal abuse on the internet with my work colleagues, I work on sites in civil engineering, I asked what their reaction would be if someone came up to them in the street and began verbally abusing them, they said they would react exactly the same way as I do. I still say that people on forums are far more likely to be abusive to others than in real life.
The internet does seem to encourage cowardice. It's all well and good saying I should get a thicker skin, but why should I tolerate abuse on forums any more than I would in real life?

Originally posted by Phil Waters@Jun 6 2005, 09:56 AM
Mark, you wrote - "trying to take the piss?" - in relation to Triptych's Oaks post which joined an Oaks post of your own.

How you came to the conclusion that she was taking the piss was, in my opinion, an over the top reaction and it all spiralled from that point.
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Phil, I came to that conclusion simply because the thread I started on the Oaks was still on the page, yes it had dropped down a touch but not that much for it to be missed if one was looking at the main topics.

Originally posted by krizon@Jun 6 2005, 12:13 PM
On the subject of manners, Mark: I posted up a fair bit of info when you said you'd lost a load of books in your house move. Whenever anyone on here gives me a reply to any requests for help, or an answer to a question, I always thank them. You managed to omit that little gesture.
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Krizon - you are making a wrong assumption here, yes I have not come back to say thankyou for the help regarding the books thread, I was and still am awaiting a reply from some of the people I have contacted regarding obtaining the books and fully intended to reply to thank people once I had further information to give.

Originally posted by Kathy@Jun 6 2005, 02:26 PM
Mark, there is a clique on here, and I have probably fallen out with most of them (some, more than once) during my years on here. I even got myself banned for a whole week quite recently. That said, it doesn't stop me posting though as there are some really nice, knowledgeable people on here.
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I am glad it's not in my imagination Kathy, so thank you for posting that. I agree too that there are some nice and knowledgeable people here but I still think that as a newcomer if you happen to disagree with a more established member you do get an unfriendly reponse as other members come to the defence of those a newcomer may disagree with, that will hardly encourage postings.

Originally posted by Tout Seul@Jun 6 2005, 03:08 PM
A couple of points.
1.As one who complimented Mark on the on the well written and interesting post he made about his son, as well as responding at length I was somewhat disappointed by his OTT reaction to Triptych. Seems that both made a mistake and it's now resolved. Where's the problem?
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Tout Seul, I do recall your compliments on the posts made about my son, and I thank you for your reply. I have to confess, that my wife made those posts under my username, simply because she obviously shared my view on the subject, she is far faster at typing such a lengthy post and handles those kind of topics better. No doubt I may get some comeback for that, so be it.

I didn't feel at the time I was OTT with my reaction to Triptych, perhaps I could have worded my reply better, but this thread about the forum being unfriendly is not actually in relation to Triptych but my general observation of the forum and new members. I may not know the history of this place, who has been banned, who is supposed to be a troll, but it does seem new members are sometimes met with such a wary nature that it can make new members feel really unwelcome.

Originally posted by Maruco@Jun 6 2005, 03:28 PM
My experience of people who think they are on the outside of a clique is that they tend to put themselves there!
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Maruco, I don't have a desire to be part of a clique, far from it. When I join any forum I just like to chat about that interest, in this case Horse Racing and share views and debate a topic, not be part of a clique.


<!--QuoteBegin-Watson Lake@Jun 6 2005, 04:52 PM
I'm a member of other forums which I will say I find more friendly (for a start I've never been threatened with suspension/getting chucked off elsewhere, unlike here) and I'm not surprised Mark has started this thread.
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Watson Lake I too am a member of other forums and have never had any problems of this nature with any of them, it's just such a pity that while members are telling me to lighten up that others don't do the same.


I have tried to answer as many of you in this post so I can't be accused of ignoring anyone, and to answer any points some of you have raised. It would seem many of you think the problem stems from the Oaks thread, that is a very small part of it all. Many of you say that you do answer people with wit, sarcasium and also will disagree from time to time, but what you may not see is that from a newcomer's point of view this can come across as unfriendly, or jumping on people's posts and it's all well and good to say once you have been here a while you will get to know people better and how they interact with one another, but the chance is often missed as it just puts me (and maybe other newcomers) off posting.
 
Originally posted by mark+Jun 6 2005, 08:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (mark @ Jun 6 2005, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

<!--QuoteBegin-Phil Waters@Jun 6 2005, 09:56 AM
Mark, you wrote - "trying to take the piss?" - in relation to Triptych's Oaks post which joined an Oaks post of your own.

How you came to the conclusion that she was taking the piss was, in my opinion, an over the top reaction and it all spiralled from that point.
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Phil, I came to that conclusion simply because the thread I started on the Oaks was still on the page, yes it had dropped down a touch but not that much for it to be missed if one was looking at the main topics.

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I'm not explaining myself again, I missed the thread! As a result you mentioned my 'failings', 'bad manners' and 'rudeness'. Up until now I've kept quiet, purely in the interest of trying to maintain some peace and harmony in this forum. Yes, I have failings like the rest of us but do take exception to someone referring to my 'bad manners' and 'rudeness', especially from someone I do not know.
 
It amazes me the number of posts a thread like this gets, that alone shows how much this forum does not intend to be unwelcome when you consider the vast majority of these posts are made in the hope mark, zoz, Watson Lake and co stay and post more.
 
An Capall is the greatest love God that ever lived, is kind and considerate, a great parent, friend, provider and looks like Colin Farrell.
 
I`ve only been here a few months, have never met any fellow forumites, follow United, listen to very "ropey" music and have a quick temper but i`ve never felt less than welcomed.
 
Originally posted by an capall@Jun 6 2005, 09:35 PM
An Capall is the greatest love God that ever lived, is kind and considerate, a great parent, friend, provider and looks like Colin Farrell.
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And a fibber
 
Indeed Euronymous and I would say alot of that is because you can give as good as you get. What I mean by this if someone disagrees with you, your not going to take it personally instead you argue your point. Thats the sort of debate I want from this forum.
 
Originally posted by Tout Seul@Jun 6 2005, 03:08 PM
A couple of points.

2.Kathy, I could not think of any useful or interesting question for Mr Powell so didn't post. I suspect many other forumites reacted in the same way and would have done the same whoever posted.The only exception to that if someone who shown themselves in the past as able to handle a tease had posted I might have responded with a sorry attempt at a witticism asking to be informed of the next nailed on winner or guaranteed no hoper.
I'm trying to be helpful, not offensive, in saying -lighten up, it's all too easy to feel people are against you when they're not. I tell you from experience that life is much more enjoyable being positive and when you are positive people tend to respond accordingly.Also when you want to raise a fuss you have more impact.
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TS, I intend to send Brendan whatever questions are asked, and he can't wait to read them. I have enough to be going on with so it really isn't a problem.

I think you will find, that those that have met me, realise I can handle a tease as good as the next person (Krizon, fat wad on way if you can help me out here) :confused: but out of all the newbies that have started on this forum (bar Singspiel perhaps) , I think I can honestly say, I had the worst welcome ever so I probably have more right than anyone to feel a bit disgruntled and can understand why some newbies feel a bit awkward on here at times. I even had to "prove" I was who I said I was to "the infamous TH Clique" and even then I had the piss taken out of me, and so did Escorial for weeks after that. I don't think anyone involved could really deny that and it was quite upsetting to think I was the butt of so many peoples jokes and it was quite vindictive at times. The only person who came and apologised to me after a few weeks (and Escorial) was Alan Morgan, and for that reason I had massive respect for him.

I have moved on (rather than packing my bags which I had considered ) but still find it quite bizarre that the TH hit squad rush to the aid of others when one of them finds themselves "out of their depth" in any discussion. It does make me chuckle. You could put money on who will rush to the aid of one of the clique in distress.

Despite all of that, I continue to learn from so many of the people on here, and realise that people like Aidan really are the backbone of this forum. He welcomes everyone, manages to stay calm, and often plays devils advocate when an explosion is due to take place.
 
Relkeel
A bookie in a racing/betting/bitching forum clique? Don't ask silly questions. I second Lord H 's suggestion.
 
I joined in January (I think?????) and I'm very happy here. I've not noticed a clique. Everyone was very welcoming, I've not made zillions of posts but I pop along every day and have a jolly nice time reading the posts. I love it here.

That all sounds rather sickly doesn't it? :lol: No, honestly, I think this forum and the majority of the people on it are bloody marvellous :D
 
This is a pathetic thread,

But since we're getting everything out in the open, then I want to tell Singspiel that I am annoyed by your use of the word 'mate' - this only works in an actual conversational situation and really should not be typed

That is all
 
Dear Watson Lake: In case it was me rushing to the defence of the fair Balding, allow me to express my apology if I was a hammer cracking a nut. Not that I'm calling you a nut, of course: it's just an analogy. (Tries desperately to think of a better one, but at this time of the morning, gives up.)

I'm pleased you're on the forum and I hope all brand new, or slightly used, forumites will decide to stay.

We are just like real life, really: if you start in a new club, or job, there are always those who try to make you feel at home, there are those who look you over, and wait and see, and then there are those who really who couldn't give a damn.

Betsmate, you are very funny and amusing, so I wish you all the best with your triple spread on the flip-flop with reverse somersault.

Mark: fair dinkum, cobber. I try to be helpful, and I've found this forum has been a source of advice and much help on several matters. I don't need thanks all the time. A crate of Bollinger will do just as well.

That's it - let's keep rolling!
 
Blimey, Kathy, for a moment I thought you'd typed 'fatwa on way'... hmm... let me think about that... :brows:
 
Nah, although I like a lively forum at times Krizon, I think declaring a Fatwa may be just one step too far. :ph34r: :unsure: B)
 
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