Calamity...

T

trackside528

At the Start
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
5,377
I was this morning informed that I have been nominated as part of the work delegation that will represent the firm at a conference in the States.

The dates: March 15-19... inclusive.

This is the biggest crisis I've been faced with since Meath-Dublin clashed with my cousin's wedding. I managed to wriggle my way out of that (attended both) but this looks considerably tougher.

Any ideas? I'm currently looking up ways to contract swine flu, but bizzarely can find only ways to prevent it...
 
You need to get yourself banned from boarding the plane.

Ask your father to tell the US embassy he's worried about you. Don't bring any luggage with you. Fill your jocks to bulging with itching powder.

I'd imagine that should work. Afterwards your firm can write a letter of protest.
 
Suspected swine flu, its vauge enough that you dont ahve to come in and when there all back it was just your doctor being over pre-cautious
 
I would book a flight to somewhere like Dubai and show them the email. Apologise for not asking beforehand for the holiday. Better still, say your girlfriend booked it as a surprise and you only found out when you told her the dates (ie - blame her!).

£500 is a small price to not miss Cheltenham, no?
 
Send an email to the White House threatening to kidnap the first lady. They'll never let you in the country. (a former colleague of mine did something similar whilst at university - sent an email threatening to kidnap Chelsea Clinton [IIRC] and had the FBI turn up on his doorstep on campus. Not allowed near the States)
 
Find a doctor who'll certify you can't risk flying because of aerophobia, aviatophobia, aviophobia or pteromerhanophobia ....

Change your job ....

Tell them you don't want to go, thank you very much ....
 
Last edited:
Shadow Leader said:
Send an email to the White House threatening to kidnap the first lady. They'll never let you in the country. (a former colleague of mine did something similar whilst at university - sent an email threatening to kidnap Chelsea Clinton [IIRC] and had the FBI turn up on his doorstep on campus. Not allowed near the States)
Click to expand...

:D

No doubt some geek at the agency will be reading this forum, the initials having triggered an alert :D

Hi geek!!:p
 
Tell them you cannot risk your reputation for shrewdness by representing a firm with such a lamentable lack of foresight and planning!
 
I like the chickenpox number. Have your Good Lady gently daub small lipstick spots on your chest, neck and face. "Oh, my GOD!" you shriek, racing from the gents' loos into the nearest team-building meeting you can find. "Look at these! Why didn't anyone tell me!" You rush hysterically from the building and get a plausible pal to phone up later. "Good afternoon. Zis is Dr. Hunkelshuffer from ze College for Viral Diseases... your employee Mr. T. Side seems to hev ze rare Malinger Ringworm 3-C virus, vich is very nasty. Ve hev given him two weeks of compulsory isolation while we perform ze nezessary tests on him. I vill report to you later." Sorted!
 
Shadow Leader said:
Send an email to the White House threatening to kidnap the first lady. They'll never let you in the country. (a former colleague of mine did something similar whilst at university - sent an email threatening to kidnap Chelsea Clinton [IIRC] and had the FBI turn up on his doorstep on campus. Not allowed near the States)
Click to expand...


:lol::lol::lol:
 
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