You sound like Trump claiming false news. The evidence is irrefutable and you’re going down. WI5, The Women's Institute investigation branch, started the campaign against you because of the jam jar shortage reaching crisis proportions. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself when was the last time you saw a homemade jar of chutney, piccalilli, or damson jam? WI numbers are significantly down over the last few decades and the timing isn’t coincidence.
These things have knock on consequences and you need to take ownership of the problems you’ve created in rural England. Generations of children have been deprived. Most think the Red Admiral is where their Dad gets drunk every night, and the Ladybird is the reason for all the rows they hear when they’re laying in bed. It’s hardly surprising village greens everywhere have become focul points for Mums picking up little baggies of Cabbage White to take the edge off.
Despite your protests, you all but signed your confession in the opening posts on here. I’m convinced that Bill Oddie is a member on here (See Drone’s posts on the subject!), and I suspect you could be in real trouble. He’s been looking for an opportunity to get on to Michaela Strachan (Moehat), and her good pal Stacey Dooley (JinnyJ). So for sure you’ll be getting a knock on the door any day soon. You can only hope that Dooley doesn’t get her celebrity dancing pal Judge Rinder (Grasshopper), to hear the case because what’s coming to you may be much stiffer than you're expecting.