Finding the winner of our bumper

Grey

Senior Jockey
Joined
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As all of you know by now, our bumper takes place at Navan on Saturday. It is of course only normal that we get to back the winner of our race, so the following letter and questionnaire will be going out to the trainer of each horse entered.

Dear Trainer,

As you are aware, the much anticipated winningways.ie and Talkinghorses (Pro/Am) INH Flat Race takes place at Navan on Saturday. Some of those involved in sponsoring this major event are travelling considerable distances in order to be present on the day, so any help you could offer with finding a few winners would be greatly appreciated.

We are of course particularly interested in identifying the winner of our own race and to this end enclose a questionnaire that you would perhaps be good enough to fill in and return to us.

Without in any way wishing to influence the outcome of the race, I should mention that several members of Talking Horses have expressed their strong desire to meet Ms Nina Carberry on the winners' podium, and indeed have made their contribution to the prize fund conditional on this occurrence. However, the opportunity to participate in a good old-fashioned coup might sway them to favour your horse instead.

I therefore hope you can give this matter you most careful consideration and fill in the attached questionnaire as carefully as possible.

Best wishes,

Mr Henry Root
The questionnaire:

winninwaysracing.ie & Talkinghorses (Pro/Am) INH Flat Race

1. Is your horse going to win this race?

2, If yes, by what distance?

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?

5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th.

10. Please not that in the unlikely event that more than one horse is expected to finish in a particular placing we shall be in touch in order to resolve this difference of opinion.
 
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I would be very surprised if any trainer filled that in.

I certainly wouldn't want to fill one in as abrupt as that if I were a trainer.
 
I have received the following communication from an capall.

I took the liberty of sending the questionnaire to Tony Martin and his responses are as below.

1. Is your horse going to win this race?

It will probably win. If it doesn't it will be tailed off.

2, If yes, by what distance?

Win a shd or tailed off a furlong.

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?

Not sure. I'd wait until 2 out if I were you though.

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?

Yes. But I may lay it off.


5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?

Don't be silly. It'll be a bar at least.

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?

Back 3.05pm, lay off 3.47pm.

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.

No and No. Actually, never and never.

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th

See 1 and 2.

Further replies are eagerly awaited.
 
Colm won't have a runner in the bumper but might have one or two on the rest of the card. If people are interested, I'll see if I can sort out a visit to our suite/box during racing, depending on logistics of runners etc.
 
I think An Capall will be deeply insulted that it is felt that a questionnaire is required to find the winner. Gearoid you should probably look for other means of transport to the racecourse for the day...
 
I think An Capall will be deeply insulted that it is felt that a questionnaire is required to find the winner. Gearoid you should probably look for other means of transport to the racecourse for the day...

And how do you suppose an capall gets his winners if not through using questionnaires?

Anyway, I've just had a reply from Oliver Brady.

1. My horse will win and all the fine people out there should back it.

2. How far? He'll not just win it, he'll walk it.

3. He'll never be sighted, he'll be that far in front. Des Scahill
won't know which way he's gone, but that won't be anything out of the ordinary where that good man is concerned.

4. Of course I'm backing him. Me and the whole of Monaghan.

5. Ms Shah might be reading this so I'd rather not say how much.

6. When? I've already had my money on, I mean Ms Shah's money. Otherwise you'd have heard nothing from me.

7. Don't worry, my jockeys always know what's expected. And they know we have long memories in this part of the world. Up Monaghan. And please say hello to that Mr Chapman. He's a bit soft in the head but nice enough with it.
 
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Brilliant :lol::lol::lol:

That's the best laugh I've had for a week
Any more rpelies yet lads?
 
Indeed, Stamp

I've had a reply from Willy Mullins.

1. Will my horse win? Which one? There are 38 horses entered in the race and I've got 43 of them. Given its outstanding prestige this is a race I'm set on winning.

2. How far? See 1 above. Given the likely high winds my runners will set off as a peloton. One of them will go clear at the furlong pole while the rest fan out across the course and keep the rest at bay.

3. See 2 above.

4. Back one of mine? I wouldn't know how.
 
Nicholls is shipping one over:

1. Is your horse going to win this race?
Yes, but I never said I was targeting the Irish Trainer's Championship

2, If yes, by what distance?
I don't mind, its the prize money I'm interested in.

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?
I think Kauto Star deserves more respect.

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?
I'll be covering on all the Mullins and Meade runners.

5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?
The championship goes on prizemoney not bet returns right?

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?
I just need a few big Saturday winners back home...

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.
Ruby is fully appraised of the horse's chances in every detail. Unfortunately he is riding one of Willie's.

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th.
How far down do they pay?

10. Please not that in the unlikely event that more than one horse is expected to finish in a particular placing we shall be in touch in order to resolve this difference of opinion.
 
Some great replies but I love this one:

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.
Ruby is fully appraised of the horse's chances in every detail. Unfortunately he is riding one of Willie's.


:lol:
 
Martin Pipe has resumed training and has entered 47

1. Is your horse going to win this race?
They're just entries, very nice horses.


2, If yes, by what distance?
Very nice horses, Richard Dunwoody, very good jockey, very pleased.

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?
Depends if Jenny Pitman is running one

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?
Very nice horse, Peter Scudamore, very good jockey, very pleased

5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?
I'll have to check the sporting life, nice horses, very pleased, should run well.

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?
Tony McCoy, very good jockey, very nice horse, very pleased, should run well.

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.
Roger who ?

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th.
Very good horse, Very pleased, David Bridgwater, very good jockey... oh er erm, wheres question 8 ? I would have given a straight answer to that one.

10. Please not that in the unlikely event that more than one horse is expected to finish in a particular placing we shall be in touch in order to resolve this difference of opinion.
 
Martin Pipe has resumed training and has entered 47

1. Is your horse going to win this race?
They're just entries, very nice horses.


2, If yes, by what distance?
Very nice horses, Richard Dunwoody, very good jockey, very pleased.

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?
Depends if Jenny Pitman is running one

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?
Very nice horse, Peter Scudamore, very good jockey, very pleased

5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?
I'll have to check the sporting life, nice horses, very pleased, should run well.

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?
Tony McCoy, very good jockey, very nice horse, very pleased, should run well.

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.
Roger who ?

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th.
Very good horse, Very pleased, David Bridgwater, very good jockey... oh er erm, wheres question 8 ? I would have given a straight answer to that one.

10. Please not that in the unlikely event that more than one horse is expected to finish in a particular placing we shall be in touch in order to resolve this difference of opinion.

Classic! I can actually hear him say that!
 
In a shocking twist, I've received this from Jim Bolger:

winninwaysracing.ie & Talkinghorses (Pro/Am) INH Flat Race

1. Is your horse going to win this race?

Not relevant, as the horse will absolutely not be running in the race.

2, If yes, by what distance?

Again, that is irrelevant - the horse was entered by mistake.

3. For the assistance of those of us who like to bet in running, will your horse hit the front on the line/at the furlong pole/lead all the way?

Were he to run (which he won't) I would leave it up to the jockey.

4. Will you be backing this horse yourself?

Gambling is behind only failure to attend mass on my list of the world's greatest evils.

5. If yes, how much will you be having on? EUR10/EUR100/EUR10,000/EUR100,000/EUR1,000,000?

:mad:

6. In order to allow the rest of us get some money on, when do you intend to have your bet?

Again irrelevant, though I have heard some of my staff are planning to back the horse (though he won't run). Rest assured, the offending members of my staff will be dealt with in due course.

7. Is your jockey appraised of your intentions? In the name of openness and transparency, please ask him/her to sign this questionnaire.

N/A. The jockey will possibly be booked tommorrow, but that will be a mistake as well.

I've had Kevin Manning sign his name (in blood) on the bottom of the form anyway.

9. To assist those of us who go in for spread betting, if your answer to question 1 is 'no', please state in which place your horse will finish instead:
2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th.....24th.

No.


10. Please not that in the unlikely event that more than one horse is expected to finish in a particular placing we shall be in touch in order to resolve this difference of opinion.
 
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