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Funny Email

Diminuendo

Dormant account
Joined
Jun 3, 2003
Messages
1,453
Location
The West Country
I opened a business email about 15 months ago. Every now and again I get one of these emails, some have been on here before. Every one is slightly different then the last, but this one takes first prize. Classic!!!

Dear friend,

Please excuse me if i have infringe into your privacy. I am madam Laarni
Enriquez, a Filippino by nationality, And once President, Joseph Estrada
courier mistress. Honestly I would like to have an investment and confidant
relationship with you ,if possible entrusting my life time fortune into your
possession,as now I am broken hearted and needs someone to trust, without
remembering my past and forsaken experiences from close confidants and
family.

All i want from you is to assist me make claims of some funds I concealled
in a metallic trunk box deposited in a security company in Coted Ivoire-a
remote states in Africa. The Amount being deposited is much about 13.5
Million United states dollars,as this was the money that was supposed to be
used by the President to acquire some properties in Africa. I will forward
the depository documents to you in my next mail for your perusal.

All, I want from you, now is honesty and sincerity, as soon as this money is
claimed by you, I will look for a way out and sneaked out of Philippines to
travel down to meet you in your country.
Not to mentioned instant benefit of one million five hundred thousand united
states dollars as soon the shipment is accomplish within two days depending
on your liason capabilities because all major cost including shipment
charge,demmurage and custodian charges have already settled.

Thanks in anticipation of your prompt and favourable response to my private
email address: laarni_enriquez15@yahoo.fr

with love,
Laarni Enriquez.
 
who wants to WIN!!! the EURO LOTTERY!! (i'm on it for tonights draw :o ) when you have an offer like this??? :lol:
P.S.
You never gave me your email address............. :rolleyes:
 
I get these all the time also....Read this, it was a cracker...



Dear Friend.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I
believe everyone will succumb someday.

I have been diagnosed with an incurable condition which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in carrying for my health. It has defiled all forms of
medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to find the cure,
according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared
for anyone not even myself but my 'business'. Though I am very rich, I was
never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my
business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all
this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have
or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second
chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from
how I have lived it.

Now that God ! has called me, I have willed and given most of my
properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as
well as a few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept
my soul and so, I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and
give succour and confort to the less priviledged in our societies, as I
want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the
U.A.E, France and The United Kingdom*. Now that my condition has deteriorated so
badly, I cannot do this my self anymore. I once asked members of my
family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have
there to charity organization and to the less priviledged in Bulgaria
and Pakistan, and Africa they refused and kept the money to themselves.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of
thirty three million dollars that I have with a Security Company in
my home country for safe keeping. I will want you to help me collect this deposit
and disburse it to some charity organizations and to the less
priviledged. All I ask of you is that you deposit $8 (eight) million dollars at my bank in the following account. The bank is the Paddy Power National in Cork, Eire. The Account name is Beef or Salmon and the passcode is "$8000000 win, BorS, Ch G Cup". Write this on a banking slip and hand it to the cashier...they will know how to deposit it". By March I can then hand over your share of $thirty three million.

Please send me a mail to indicate if you will assist me in this
disbursement.


While I await to hear from you, may God be with you and your entire family.

Yours in sincere gratitude

Gearoid Norris.


*The Godolphin Seven Stars, Paris Mutuel and The Tote
 
you all may think that this is a laughing matter, but il have you know that i recieved some terrible news lately via email.

apparently a relation of mine has been killed in an accident in nigeria, and as a result of his untimely death, has left me over 10 million us dollars. all i need is some money to pay some charges and il be quids in...

Scant consolation though after losing my good relation, whom although we never met, communicated or even knew that each other existed,i dearly miss.

all support i can get in these hard times would be greatly appreciated.. ive had several emails from nigeria about this tragic incident. its amazing how willing some people are to help.. restores faith in mankind...

As i will soon be a multi millionaire,my colours shall be seen gracing the racecourses of the world soon. All horses shall run in the name of my dear relative, muribgiauebrgiiu iahwghiaeorg.
:cry: :cry: :cry:


P.S.Anyone willing to help out with the bank fees, email me, i wont see ye short when im a millionaire!!! THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!!!!!

:D :D :lol: :lol:
 
Gearoid - serves you bloody right for 'defiling' medicines, you dirty little beast! Is NOTHING safe from your lust?
 

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