Gems Overheard In Betting Shops

C

canteatvalue

At the Start
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
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9
Inspired by the brilliant @betting_wanker account on Twitter, does anyone have any gems to share from the fountains of knowledge that are the betting shops??



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 20 Dec
Taking a photo of a winning betting slip and posting it on Twitter.

#wanker




Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 20 Dec
Getting your mate to retweet a winning tip you put up after the race because no-one else gives a ****.
#wanker





Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 20 Dec
"Boom".

#wanker





Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 20 Dec
Thinking AP McCoy is the greatest sportsman ever just cos he striped the arse off a diseased yak you bet at 5/4 in a Ludlow seller.
#wanker




Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Vigorously booting home your nap on ATR, not realising that the horse finished 5th 30 seconds ago on your mate's SIS feed.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
"He's clear top on my speed figures".

#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Loitering by the counter to bet Mad Moose if he consents to race, then moaning when he starts with the others but is still ****.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Trying to impress a lass with the size of your bets at Ascot, then asking her for the train fare home when you do your bollocks.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Honing your latent golf expertise once a year, just in time for the Open Championship.

#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Getting your notebook out for Big Bucks' racecourse gallop even though you haven't got a ******* clue which one he is.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Giving everyone your nap of the day and claiming you traded out in running when it gets gubbed on the line.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Buying your mate a King George bet for Xmas, thus forcing him to waste precious family time watching a hairy elk tail itself off.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Vocally acknowledging "another vintage Ruby ride" not realising Mr Walsh got stuck in traffic and was replaced by Andrew Thornton.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Loudly phoning through a large bet knowing you'll get restricted, getting offered it in full and pretending the line has cut out.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Saying "If this top horse wins I'll give the game up", watching it **** up, and trying to smash out on the next race.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Following in a snide Oddschecker gamble, then quickly building up a backwards form case to pass it off as your own tip.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Coming back from a week in Benidorm and saying "Can't believe it, that thing that won the Bath seller at 125/1 was in my notebook".
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Tipping mates an NFL bet,safe in the knowledge that 99% of them won't have a sufficient grasp of the rules to know if it won or lost
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 19 Dec
Interrupting your mate as he wildly celebrates his 25/1 winner to tell him "See it paid 65 on the Tote?".
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
"My mate knows the jockey".

#wanker

Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Saying "I just love that old boy" when an aging chaser wins a Class 5 at Plumpton, when all you really love is having £20 at 10-1.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Saying "I knew I should've done the tricast" after betting the 1st 3 home, despite not having done a tricast in 30 years.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Saying "Pony each way on t'Fallon oss" to the lass on the PMU at Longchamp, then copping the hump when she doesn't understand.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Lumping on 7 horses in the Grand National who all fall before The Chair, then shouting "Got this in the office sweep" at the winner.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Using the heel of your Converse All Star as a going stick on the way from the car park to the Silver Ring.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Standing by the lollipop celebrating as if you have backed every single winner at a televised meeting.
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Putting all your mates on a rancid yak and saying "I saved on that" as something else passes the post in front.
#wanker

Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Turning your back on the telly a furlong out cos you're so sure you've won, then having to have another quick look to make sure.
#wanker



Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Saying "The fav looks amazing in the paddock" even though you were born in Croydon and wouldn't spot the badger in a field of horses
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Just after your mate's horse gets chinned on the line, asking him "Each way?".
#wanker


Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Saying "At least I got the value" as your horse falls out the back of the telly.
#wanker
 
KABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Lovely drift WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH! !!!
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
Great stuff

Bookies should provide ear plugs for the chat and air freshener for the body odour
 
Last edited:
"Yes!! Ya fukcin beauty!! Backed the batsard at twice the price this morning!!!"

...

Oooops, sorry, that was me.
 
:lol::lol: Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Lumping on 7 horses in the Grand National who all fall before The Chair, then shouting "Got this in the office sweep" at the winner.
#wanker

that happened to me :lol::lol:
 
I popped in to see the 12 10 today and face fell well the resident moaner was at his usual pew. I'm sure he's a cabbie

Reckoned that race was a fix. Woman jockey beating McCoy must be a fix and it's fixed to ruin place pots etc

Then he moaned about he fences being omitted and how that was a fix too

Then every race except for march is a "a fix"

He does my head in. I avoid these places as much as possible because I feel like I'm going to lose my rag


If you want to meet him he's now in intensive care
 
swedish chef said:
:lol::lol: Betting Wanker ‏@Betting_Wanker 18 Dec
Lumping on 7 horses in the Grand National who all fall before The Chair, then shouting "Got this in the office sweep" at the winner.
#wanker

that happened to me :lol::lol:
Click to expand...

That is a bobby dazzler, the sweep stake rubs it in great:D
 
clivex said:
I popped in to see the 12 10 today and face fell well the resident moaner was at his usual pew. I'm sure he's a cabbie

Reckoned that race was a fix. Woman jockey beating McCoy must be a fix and it's fixed to ruin place pots etc

Then he moaned about he fences being omitted and how that was a fix too

Then every race except for march is a "a fix"

He does my head in. I avoid these places as much as possible because I feel like I'm going to lose my rag


If you want to meet him he's now in intensive care
Click to expand...

Clive I apologize at my pessimism of the racing game, maybe I am not cut out for it. I am only going by what I see, and if I see a fix or see any shady activity I am entitled to air my opinion. I had £4000 at even money on SKY LANTERN in the Falmouth stakes, the stewards done me like a kipper, I never bothered moaning as I knew it would do me no good. I expect the injustice:o
 
There is nothing worse when some fruitcake in the bookmakers talks you onto a horse, you put a decent wager on and he bolts before the start of the race, not willi9ng to take the criticism when they invariably only beat 1 or 2 home:(
 
handsofstone said:
There is nothing worse when some fruitcake in the bookmakers talks you onto a horse, you put a decent wager on and he bolts before the start of the race, not willi9ng to take the criticism when they invariably only beat 1 or 2 home:(
Click to expand...

you put bets on a horse in a bookies from the advice of a fruitcake :lol:

not sure whose hte mug, you or the fruitcake :lol:
 
FrogTheBountyMuncher said:
you put bets on a horse in a bookies from the advice of a fruitcake :lol:

not sure whose hte mug, you or the fruitcake :lol:
Click to expand...

I have fell for it once or twice, they can sound very convincing, and you only realize their a fruitcake when they bolt before the race starts and you see the horses finishing place.

never again:nono:
 
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