How Would You Like Your Steak, Sir?

So my mum was nearly right. She cooks any type of meat for what seems like days (actually just hours) and it's always dry, tough and cooked to death. We're going to my parents house for Christmas dinner this year and already Mr GG is grumbling that his dinner will be ruined :lol:
 
This guy is an amateur.

He calls for smoked sea salt without specifying which kind. Should it be smoked with hardwood, hickory or oak? Applewood, alder or mesquite?

Personally I find Marlboro-smoked table quite adequate.
 
MUTTTTTTTLEYY!! :o I am shocked to the marrow!

Crikey, he really must be Ye Compleat Plonker for Mutts to have resorted to such an outburst! I was completely put off the bloke by the write-up in the Radio Times, so I won't be watching him. It was the bit about using a vacuum cleaner to get bubbles in his chocolate mousse or something that had me turning the page pretty quickly. I don't even know how to work it as a vacuum cleaner, let alone a kitchen implement!
 
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