James Willoughby.

Bar the Bull said:
Krizon,

I think you are being incredibly harsh on Mr. Willoughby. The prospect (in my case) or the reaility in Willoughby's case of your child having a permanent neurological disorder is impossible to understand, and people do strange things in normal circumstances.

What is the difference between his wife baking special bread and him trying to find a cure for the condition, or at least alleviate the condition? I know when my son was having difficulties, my wife spent a huge amount of time on the internet and reading medical journals. I tried to ignore what was happening; she tried to fix it. Both were thankfully futile, as our son has grown out of his problems.

When something like autism strikes, I would imagine that there is a huge amount of fear, guilt and sadness.

And I don't think it is too ridiculous to second-guess doctors. They have been known to mis-diagnose in the past. And knowing more about your child's condition can be useful in helping the boy deal with it.
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fabulous post that.
 
Bar the Bull said:
Krizon,

I think you are being incredibly harsh on Mr. Willoughby. The prospect (in my case) or the reaility in Willoughby's case of your child having a permanent neurological disorder is impossible to understand, and people do strange things in normal circumstances.

What is the difference between his wife baking special bread and him trying to find a cure for the condition, or at least alleviate the condition? I know when my son was having difficulties, my wife spent a huge amount of time on the internet and reading medical journals. I tried to ignore what was happening; she tried to fix it. Both were thankfully futile, as our son has grown out of his problems.

When something like autism strikes, I would imagine that there is a huge amount of fear, guilt and sadness.

And I don't think it is too ridiculous to second-guess doctors. They have been known to mis-diagnose in the past. And knowing more about your child's condition can be useful in helping the boy deal with it.
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Spot on.
 
I would agree 100 per cent with Rorys comments.When my son was born last year things were going very smoothly until machines started beeping loudly and medical staff appeared from
nowhere.a fairly rough caesarean delivery followed and I knew that there was a lot that could have went either way.I prayed a lot that night.
Everything is great now but for months after I was worried that something would show up.
 
davidjohnson said:
Having seen the reaction to James' piece elsewhere, I'm pleased to say that some of the views expressed here are in the minority.

A lot of people have questioned at various times why Willoughby cut back on his TV work and despite being Chief Correspondent, was writing less and less for the Post. I think this clears it up. Perhaps it's some sort of catharctic piece he needed to write to begin a new chapter in his life, given how tough he and his family have had it over the last few years, I certainly won't begrudge him the opportunity to write it.
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I think David has this right... We should accept it for what it is. It certainly resolves a few unanswered things. Willoughby tries his best to be unemotional in his thinking and writing... nevertheless, I am quite moved by his need to explain his situation.
 
I'd agree with Songsheet about the grieving process - also, if JW has immersed himself in information gathering, he'll no doubt be aware that it’s highly likely that there is a genetic link in at least some cases of autism, which could prompt some feeling of guilt and a degree of self-analysis.

Autism is a spectrum condition, affecting different individuals in different ways and to different degrees, so it is difficult to compare the reactions of different families. Also, support for people with autism and their families is variable – a bit of a postcode lottery. Some people cope in the face of huge adversity, some are unable to cope, even with a lot of help.

Unfortunately, it’s a fallacy that autism often goes hand-in-hand with genius. To quote the NAS website “Current thinking holds that at most 1 or 2 in 200 individuals with an autism spectrum disorder might have a genuine savant talent. However, there is no reliable frequency estimate as yet as there is still no register of people with autism in the UK.” JW says that his son is diagnosed as a low-functioning autistic. The reality is that even if he does have some special talent, it may be difficult to spot and difficult to nurture.

There’s research going on about the relationship between diet and the effects of autism on individuals. At present, the evidence seems to suggest that specific diets are beneficial to some and not to others – this is probably not surprising as among the numerous conditions that can accompany autism are various digestive problems. Also, people with autism often have sensory issues (either hyper- or hypo-sensitivity), which can impact on taste, smell and reaction to the texture of food. It can be quite difficult to understand how, or even if, these things are impacting on those individuals who find it hard, or are unable, to communicate so it’s sometimes a case of “try it and see”.
 
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Grassy: what I'm saying is that nowhere does he acknowledge the reaction of his wife and him as a couple which produced a child with this condition. None of us know whether he involved her in the writing or not, so as I said, it'd be wild presumption (for any of us). But he's written it as if only he were affected by it, and while I'm pleased he's getting past his anger/sadness/frustration/depression - after all, it's close enough to a grieving process for something that won't ever be - I would have liked to have seen some reflection on how the issue has affected him in his partnership with the child's mother. As it is, I find it egocentric. I really don't care if no-one else does.
 
krizon said:
I would have liked to have seen some reflection on how the issue has affected him in his partnership with the child's mother.
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Perhaps she did not want anything about their relationship printed which I think is pretty understandable. Entitled to your views but far too presumptuous.
 
krizon said:
None of us know whether he involved her in the writing or not, so as I said, it'd be wild presumption (for any of us).
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In which case - admitting that we don't know all the facts of the matter - shouldn't we say nothing and move on, rather than accuse him of ego-centrism?
 
I SAID it would be presumption, Galileo, but then so is the counter-argument. Jesusaitch, I've expressed an opinion - isn't that what your forum is for? Most of the discussions on here are presumptuous!

Grassy: now you're getting into rather silly territory with words like 'accusation'. It's not an accusation. It's an observation. Mind you, if it were an accusation, it'd be in fine company along with all the 'accusations' of lousy riding, rubbish training, shit breeding that go on on here.
 
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"And yes, Mr Willoughby, how about you getting up extra early to bake the special bread you and your little boy like? It sounds to me like he was of no use or support to his wife at all - he went off on a very self-indulgent binge of self-pity, viewing the autism as a seriously bad TimeForm squiggle, to her exclusion. What the hell use is an exhausted husband, conked out over the keyboard, when you've got a full-on autistic kid to cope with? "

Nice "observation". :blink:
 
I think everybody read it properly - two possible reactions 1) Disgust - too disgusted to post a reply - better ignore. 2) you know what the other is.....
 
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Actually i regret it a bit. was a nasty jibe in his direction at the time and whatever his failings.....wasnt on. being serious here for once

too good a line to resist though...
 
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