Life lessons

betsmate

betsmate

At the Start
Joined
Dec 7, 2004
Messages
5,752
Attempting to a kick a door down after losing your house keys "like they do in films" does not result in entry to home, just expensive damage to plasterwork and door-frames.

Please feel free to share any other life lessons that you have learned to save me having to learn the hard way.

Thanks
 
Use a loyalty car on a Yale type lock (not a credit card-can b@gger it up). If mortice lock then break smallest widow you can get through. Best let family or neighbour have a key in future.
Why do think the police use battering rams?.
 
Never tell an academic that is grading your thesis that "they don't understand how it works in the real world."
 
If you`re on a National Lottery quiz show and need to name three Grand National winners for £5K don`t say Desert Orchid.
 
Never tie the ladder to the branch (of the tree) you are cutting off, the sudden weight loss of half the branch allows the bit still attached to said tree to spring up.

Resulting in:
1) you very nearly catapulting off said ladders
2) having grabbed said ladders, you are now holding onto a freely swinging pendulum, praying the knot is strong enough,
3) after jumping off, you need to find an even longer ladder to untie the first which is still attached to said tree
4) embarrasing explanation of why you need your neigbour's ladder.

October, 1994 - MR2
 
montyracing2 said:
Never tie the ladder to the branch (of the tree) you are cutting off, the sudden weight loss of half the branch allows the bit still attached to said tree to spring up.

Resulting in:
1) you very nearly catapulting off said ladders
2) having grabbed said ladders, you are now holding onto a freely swinging pendulum, praying the knot is strong enough,
3) after jumping off, you need to find an even longer ladder to untie the first which is still attached to said tree
4) embarrasing explanation of why you need your neigbour's ladder.

October, 1994 - MR2
Click to expand...


I thought that was going to be cos you and the ladder will plummet to the ground and land in a heap.... :p
 
Funny you should say that, quite a few years ago when I was working in racing and living-in (there were around 4 houses on site) we had a general [and strict!] rule that no-one ever answered their front doors were anyone to call. The reasoning being that anyone who wanted us and was ok would come around the back so anyone banging on the front door was a cold caller or bad news. One of the gobshite lads opened the front door one afternoon to the TV licence inspector (despite two of the lads yelling at him not to) and duly received a kicking when they received their warning of a potential large fine and the insistence a licence was bought immediately - those of us that didn't answer the door didn't receive a return visit nor purchased a licence!
 
Last edited:
Never send a drunken, sexually-charged text to an ex (or to your mother).

Never go within 100 feet of Siggys in York unless you are so drunk you are struggling to stay on your feet.
 
A good friend of mine discovered the benefits of not losing your temper - on a drunken night out she fell down a few steps after fighting with her boyfriend - cue a trip to hospital to get a cast put on as she had broken her finger.

After 4 hours in casualty, upon getting a taxi home she discovered her house had been burgled whilst she had been out. So she kicked the wall in a fit of temper, promptly broke her foot in 3 places and was off back to casualty for another ten hours or so.

I'm not ashamed to say I laughed the first time I head this.
 
Back
Top