New Years Resolutions

Oh, yessss!

First and foremost is to dump the lumps - I didn't go near the beach last year in case I heard cries of "Tharrr she blows!" and got harpooned. Ideally, six stone need to be lost to look human again, and not the star of a documentary on hippos.

Was going to include swearing less, but on our way back from Lingfield, Arkwright pointed out that that was a feckin' stupid idea.

Exercise - which at the moment barely registers 1,000, let alone 10,000, steps a day. New trainers - well, let's say trainers bought last Spring - haven't seen a pavement yet. I used to love going for walkies of a few miles, and have to rekindle that interest again.

Keeping my filing up-to-date and not letting papers get to unmanageable levels.

Washing and valeting the dear wee car regularly. She's a good little goer, and deserves better grooming than she gets.

So, that's gluttony, wrath and sloth taken care of. Lust doesn't raise its saucy head any more and I don't envy anyone anything, and as I can't remember the other two Deadlies, perhaps 'trying to remember things' would be the last of them!

Anyway, whatever you decide to do, or decide to do nothing... all of you, have a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR.
 
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Always a very positive time on year for me. I always give a bit of thought to year past and the year ahead. It's refreshng but at the end of the day it's all in your head, it's only another day. 2011 - Last chance of glory, make it happen.
 
Just a week ago I was feeling great; however, 6 days of eating all the food that the S.O. couldn't eat because of the flu [can't bear to waste food; starving children and all that] plus the chocolates that I've had for Christmas [had to eat them to get them out of the way; realised today that I don't actually like chocolate] have made me feel lousy. Annoyingly, the S.O has lost half a stone; I know he's been feeling awful, but I'm rather envious of the weight loss. Do men ever decide to go on a diet at New Year? I bet they don't. Why is that? Agree about the beach thing; I haven't been on a beach [in a wearing a bikini and sunbathing sort of way] for about 5 years. At least I can console myself with the fact that I'm invisible now, so it doesn't really matter what I look like!Wonder if this filing thing is age related? I used to be so organised, but over the past year I've found myself mislaying bills and almost forgetting appointments [or even what day it is; that may be to do with working two Saturdays every month.. I wake up each day wondering if I'm at work or not]. That's the good thing about New Year; clean slate and all that. I'm 59 tomorrow. I can't actually believe that I'm 59, it's as if it's happening to someone else, like watching a disaster happen in slow motion.Had a great card form my ex husband; it shows a woman sat in a kitchen surrounded by washing up, half eaten biscuits, overflowing rubbish bins and unpaid bills. She's happily drinking a cup of coffee whilst reading a magazine called 'Beautiful Home'. This just about sums me up.It also sums up why he's not married to me any more! I will never, ever stop swearing; it's the best safety valve ever with only certain words being suitable for certain situations, none of which are printable. Anyway; Happy New Year to everyone; we've got the King George and the Welsh National to look forward to..how great is that!
 
I rarely look at card/bank statements, Moehat, just chuck in a plastic box awaiting filing in 12 months' time, but I looked at my latest credit card billing and found McAfee Security had charged me £65 for something I've never had from them! That kinda pulled me up a bit short and made me realise I should take my own stuff more seriously. I can work competently and in a well-organised manner on behalf of someone or something else, but have always been a bit fuzzy round the edges re my own business. That is definitely going to be corrected from today!

I think the swearing might stay - I apologised to my usual colleague at Lingfield for the vulgarities she'd suffered recently, and she hadn't even noticed! Said that having a husband and three sons had probably deadened her to the sound of it - although I do still keep it to appropriate times and places (and the vast majority is unheard anyway, as it takes place in the car!), and I wouldn't use it round people who are truly offended by it.
 
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Already started mine! Sick and tired of being used by folk to do stuff for them without ever being either called on or rung up to ask if they can help me out. Bearing in mind I live on my own and farm, a couple of local people who have been helped to the hilt by me should have bothered over the past few months but neither have. So one so-called local friendship bit the dust last week after yet again being asked to help them out yet again because of the snow and ice with absolutely not one return favour ever offered. The relief in actually telling them I considered their behaviour to be unacceptable was great ! Annoyingly, the favour I did them meant paying for some feed for them and so far, I haven't received any money back but will give them a week and an invoice will be sent - together with a some choice comments.

So my second NY resolution is to simply say 'No' more often when asked to do stuff by folk who so far have never bothered to offer me any help when I may have needed it.
 
Good for you, Songsheet.Recently I actually stood up to someone who has bullied me [and others] for years, and I can't believe how differently people are treating me now. The mouse that roared.
 
Well done, Songsheet and Moehat! I might as well have had a sign on my back saying WIPE HERE until I was in my early 40s - I was a human doormat, unable to say 'no' to any request, however dull or dreary I thought the involvement. I was always afraid of hurting people's feelings, which negative habit I lay squarely at my Mother's door for teaching an only child to 'always put others first'. I'd been asked to do some utterly boring committee work and I thought, I don't have the time, and I don't want to do it even if I have. So I bumbled and fiddled my way through an apology, only to get an airy, "Hey, no problem - we'll get XXX to do it for us." I couldn't believe it was so easy, and that they didn't need lifelong counselling after my rejection!

After that, things have just got better, to the point that I was quite confident about dropping a very toxic 'friend' who'd outlasted their welcome for a while, some years ago. Just like that! And all the better for it, too. I was fed up with being criticised all the time in a personal way by someone whose own behaviour was very far from exemplary. It's so liberating knowing that you can cut these malignant growths out of your life and that they will - mostly because they've got the hide of rhinos anyway - not actually suffer a mortal wound if you do.

Onwards, ladies, onwards! :D
 
Same here; I was like Rimmer in Red Dwarf, only, instead of having an 'H 'on my forehead it just said 'hit me'. It still does, but 'then duck' has been added.....Is this the curse of the only child? Always being subservient to adults and not learning to stand up to older siblings? Hmmm...
 
I think there's a fair amount in that theory, Moehat. My mother never had a problem with being assertive on her own or other people's behalf, but I couldn't be like her - I had to find my own way out of the maze, and her saying "you should.... " didn't help at all. I then used to feel doubly useless - not able to say no, not able to thump issues out of the way in which she did. Slowly, slowly, horrible, cringing apology led to a more cheerful, "That's kind of you to think of me, but no thanks" and on to a sometimes much stronger "Oh, no, not my sort of thing at all!" with a smile or laugh. I've yet to have to knock someone to the ground and yell "What was it about NO that you didn't understand?" And the older we get, the more liberated we are - we don't have to consider bosses, future prospects, not getting references, or pleasing unpleasable people. In the end, we really couldn't give a damn!
 
Mine is to get rid of the excess baby weight which seemed to fall off at first but is now proving quite stubborn. The second is to swear less as I don't want baby Triptych's first word to be feck!
 
:lol::lol:

I think those of us making resolves should visit this thread every three months, to see how we're doing. I've controlled myself very well today and feel better for not over-stuffing. Plumpton tomorrow, so some hearty walking around between the jumps and as I'm never visiting their awful restaurant again, the intake will probably be extremely minimal!

I'm continuing to de-clutter and finding all sorts of things I don't want, so have built up a huge 'rummage box' for residents in the block to have a grab at in a couple of days' time. Anything left over can go to the charidees. Why on earth do I have three gizmos for removing lint? :confused:
 
I decided just before Christmas that the person who caused my illness last year deserves neither respect nor credibility.

My resolution is to laugh at every stupid idea that she comes up with to make herself look good at her appraisal.

I got very angry at her most recent declaration and made myself feel quite poorly for a day or so. She doesn't merit that sort of concern.

She has also bullied a dear friend of mine into long-term sickness so, after also causing the same problems for another two colleagues also, it's no holds barred from now on.

She's a joke - and I resolve to treat her so.
 
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If there are FOUR of you being bullied by ONE person, and all of you say she has caused your illnesses, then I cannot see why the issue doesn't qualify for some sort of class action against her and/or your employer. Have you discussed the matter seriously first with your supervisor, requested action you haven't received, then with your union boss or an employment lawyer? Why stay wherever you are, without all four of you resigning at the same time and stating her as the reason for your departures?
 
No one listens to complaints about bullying in the workplace unless it's put into writing. And you need to keep a written record of things that happen; it's amazing how quickly you can forget things or question your own memory. That's how bullies get away with it.
 
I don't do New Year's resolutions. If I did they'd only be to enjoy life, drink more, earn more, train and back plenty of winners! Simples. (one winner would do!)
 
I just referred to myself in the third person on another thread. I'll try again next year...
 
Never, ever telephone my Bank again. It's a soul destroying experience and if it was a hassle free thing I would change them pronto.
 
moehat said:
No one listens to complaints about bullying in the workplace unless it's put into writing. And you need to keep a written record of things that happen; it's amazing how quickly you can forget things or question your own memory. That's how bullies get away with it.
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That's very true, Moehat.

At present we've been divided by our own absences.

The situation is that the person involved is totally incompetent and got into the job through the side door. The job wasn't advertised nor was she seconded into it. Furthermore, she had been in-post for almost a year before I found out that I was being overworked doing work that she was being paid to do.

As she had never seen a job description for her kind of post, she still refuses to acknowledge that the work I refused to do is actually hers.

Human Resources and the Senior Manager have already pointed out that she has Management issues and HR seem to have a file on her.

I did present my HR representative with a 1-year account of the work that I had been doing, all that had passed between myself, the co-ordinator and our Manager, how our Manager had tried to bully me in my own home etc.

I have encouraged my friend also to make a record of her past year.

The problem is that, although everyone in the Department complains that she is totally incompetent, because she wasn't appointed by the Orthopaedic Managers, no-one seems able to do anything about her. What we really need is for our consultants to all get together and make a complaint about her standard of work, total lack of competence and bad attitude towards those members of staff whom she deems to be inferior (most of us).

One of my other two colleagues is going to a meeting next week with her and the HR supervisor and is currently building up a presentation for that.

What we really need to do is get together and present our case in unison. I intend to put this to my colleagues when we are all back together.

The problem is that many of our consultants view the admin staff as not really anything to do with them and, being mostly male, also seem to have the view that its just "the girls" squabbling and bitching amongst themselves.

It is only recently that my own consultant has realised just what a nasty person we are having to deal with. He actually apologised to me the other day for providing her with the reference that allowed her to get the original post that she applied for. He said that he has never in his life got a person so wrong.

He then went on to ask me what support I thought she had from Management. From her swaggering about and recent increase in bombast, I had assumed she was flavour of the month, but it turns out that she has no support whatsoever and that they do tend to throw her the odd brick, now and then.

From that I took it that I could behave pretty much as I pleased - and will.
 
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