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chaumi

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2012
Messages
1,493
Location
East Midlands

Just the first comment in the feed...

I had never heard this song until December 23rd. It was about 3 a.m., my wife had finally fallen asleep, as we had been agonizing over what to do about our best friend of 14 years. I had earbuds in listening to YouTube, Jobe's head was on my lap, he could no longer lift his head or even wag his tail as cancer had ravaged his body. He looked at me and let out a whimper, and it was at that point that I knew I could not take him in to the vet, and decided that after all the years that he had protected our family, and had been by my side, literally watching out for me through all the years of my crazy adventures, that I owed him to not go through the indignity to carry him into a clinic to die on a cold table.

I decided that I would be the one to take his body, to take his pain away. I administered medication that put him into a deep sleep and eventually respiratory failure and as my sweet sweet Jobe's breathing was slowing down, this song randomly came on YouTube, and I ended up watching it while I held him as he took his last breath.Tears fell out of my eyes, and as I listened to this song and the lyrics, I couldn't help but wonder if the look in his face was "How dare you do this to me", or "Thank you so much for taking my pain away."

I was so touched and torn by the lyrics as I sat on my bedroom floor sobbing, holding my friend.

I listen to this song every day in memory of him, it's on my playlist at my clinic, and even though it brings tears to my eyes almost everytime I hear it, it's simply one of the most moving songs and performances I have ever seen, and I am so thankful that I was introduced to Kodaline at one of the most vulnerable times of my life.

I just re-watched this video 3 times, often rewinding it (antiquated term) because of how impassioned the band and the crowd is, and how it reminds me one of the most perfect souls that graced our lives. I apologize to anyone that accidentally read through this rambling nonsense. It's been almost six months and I have not spoken about what I did to anyone, but I am pretty sure that there are fans that love this song and understand what pure love and loss feels like.

Holy s***, I can't believe I shared that. Sing loudly and passionately my friends, and may we one day hold the ones we have lost, again.
 
I was talking to somebody yesterday basically about the soulessness of a racing forum. I've never understood the aim really of posters who only ever just post the name of a racehorse with a price to say I've backed this without reasoning or discussion nobody can learn anything from it and nobody really cares unless of course you're so good at it you undoubtedly make people money then i suppose thats a good thing.

It completely lacks human connection and personality and surely if you want to be part of a group you need to show some of that. The members that will be remembered from these forums are people who you feel you connect with on some sort of human level. This is the complete epitome of that, sharing something close and personal, sharing pain and something that's super relatable to any animal lover who treats a pet as part of the family.

I've only met you once, and my introduction when I was trying to find you of look for a tall weird geezer in an orange cap set us off on the right foot. We didnt really get to know each other from that one occasion as we were to busy looking for Jinny half of the time. However, I usually trust my first instincts and you just simply radiated warmth and kindness and just in general the most lovely and gentle nature which is a rare feeling to get when first meeting another bloke. Being in your company was like eating comfort food, it just makes a person feel good and puts them completely at ease when around you. It makes me more surprised you had the courage to do something like that yourself.

Actually just thinking about it I've met you twice as you were at Chads aswell haha good grief, my memory.

Im really looking forward to your blog you're a very interesting person (and i don't encounter many who interest me) probably with a lot to say and plenty of interesting stories to tell. Also a good judge of the racing who looks at things from different angles to myself. As already discussed we'll meet again at some point until then this blog will get me by.

Please try and remember though I have a touch of the tism, I'm now going to be rattling my brain for the rest of the night thinking how 23rd of December was 6 months ago.

Brilliant stuff though Chaumi even if a bit of a heartbreaking read in the early hours, appreciate the share.
 
Last edited:
chaumi said:

Just the first comment in the feed...

I had never heard this song until December 23rd. It was about 3 a.m., my wife had finally fallen asleep, as we had been agonizing over what to do about our best friend of 14 years. I had earbuds in listening to YouTube, Jobe's head was on my lap, he could no longer lift his head or even wag his tail as cancer had ravaged his body. He looked at me and let out a whimper, and it was at that point that I knew I could not take him in to the vet, and decided that after all the years that he had protected our family, and had been by my side, literally watching out for me through all the years of my crazy adventures, that I owed him to not go through the indignity to carry him into a clinic to die on a cold table.

I decided that I would be the one to take his body, to take his pain away. I administered medication that put him into a deep sleep and eventually respiratory failure and as my sweet sweet Jobe's breathing was slowing down, this song randomly came on YouTube, and I ended up watching it while I held him as he took his last breath.Tears fell out of my eyes, and as I listened to this song and the lyrics, I couldn't help but wonder if the look in his face was "How dare you do this to me", or "Thank you so much for taking my pain away."

I was so touched and torn by the lyrics as I sat on my bedroom floor sobbing, holding my friend.

I listen to this song every day in memory of him, it's on my playlist at my clinic, and even though it brings tears to my eyes almost everytime I hear it, it's simply one of the most moving songs and performances I have ever seen, and I am so thankful that I was introduced to Kodaline at one of the most vulnerable times of my life.

I just re-watched this video 3 times, often rewinding it (antiquated term) because of how impassioned the band and the crowd is, and how it reminds me one of the most perfect souls that graced our lives. I apologize to anyone that accidentally read through this rambling nonsense. It's been almost six months and I have not spoken about what I did to anyone, but I am pretty sure that there are fans that love this song and understand what pure love and loss feels like.

Holy s***, I can't believe I shared that. Sing loudly and passionately my friends, and may we one day hold the ones we have lost, again.
Click to expand...
Loving a pet is like no other love. Thank you for sharing, Chaumi.
 
When we lost Cookie the Beagle, it was like the world caved in.

When we lose Pickle, I have no concept of how to handle that. It doesn't bear thinking.

But you have to take the here and now gratefully. And cherish the good memories when they're no longer here.
 
Our Oscar (2020-2016), a pup when we got him from the local rescue centre, was the dog I always wanted and he was as unique to me as anyone else's pet is to them.

And he was very much a daddy's boy.

I keep getting asked if I'll ever get another dog and so far the answer has always been 'no', often met with looks of surprize or puzzlement.

I try to explain that how can I get another dog when it will never be Oscar.

Mrs O often asks if we can get another one - she has had other dogs in her childhood years - and I find myself asking how she would feel if she died and I went on to marry another woman. She would find that concept very difficult to deal with while she is alive.
 
I’ve had to have this with Soph lately - we lost Olive ( stray, so nobody’s certain how old she was but she was at least 15, if not 16) not long before Christmas - I’m still getting up and making sure I don’t trip over her in the night as well as talking to her and keeping back empty tubs for her 🥴

One day there will be another dog who needs us like she needed me at the start - but I’m in no hurry to find it right now. She’d want me to help another one out.
I’ve never replaced one with another of the same breed though - I don’t think it’s fair on the new one, how can you not be comparing them all the time?
 
I get that, of course.

I look at it this way...

You're not replacing or replicating. Every dog is unique and their own person. It's just different.

And somewhere there is a dog that needs someone. (well, many that need someone).

I would have 100 here if it were feasible :)

Sadly, Pickle can't handle other dogs. We even had to let Ziva go because of that. And that was hard, but the best thing for both. Z is now 14, and enjoyed her last few years rather than constantly getting hassled and harassed.

Now it's Jack the cat that draws all the attention. Jack can handle it.
 
I can only echo Danny's words about the time we met you (apologies if I was the reason for not cementing that properly - am I really that difficult to keep an eye on? :LOL:)

My post about the filly I lost to colic took an age to write and I sat there sobbing for about an hour afterwards - I never even mentioned her name for about 8 years after she died. And I am totally with you on losing the pets too. I actually start crying as I think about it. I feel I should be way tougher as a vets daughter as my late dad was very open about animal death and the privilege we had in being able to end their suffering compared to human terminal illness. But I am utterly useless about all death. I think it goes back to childhood trauma when my dad used to let me help out in the surgery and I had to hold animals as they were being put to sleep. I was only about 8 years old at the time and in hindsight I don't think it was the best practice to teach a child about death like that.

We currently have two ageing dogs here - my mums lurcher who is nearly 14 and suffers from fits which are very distressing to witness most especially on Christmas Day with my brother and sister-in-law insisting he is put down. And yet within two hours of his fit (which he is not in pain in any way) he is completely back to normal and asking where lunch is. We are monitoring him with the vets advice. Then my dog is nearly 12 and spent last week with severe gastroenteritis. Fortunately we have a supply of antibiotics so as soon as we got her on those, she improved dramatically.

On another note, I am appalled at the current state of vets practices at the moment. The escalated costs are horrendous even more so because many will play on your emotions so that you spend more - and why wouldn't you to save your family member?
 
You could feel the emotion at the time in that post you're referring to, JJ. I hope your two are comfortable for as long as possible. One thing's for sure, they couldn't be better off with anyone else. And they'll know it.
 
chaumi said:

Just the first comment in the feed...

I had never heard this song until December 23rd. It was about 3 a.m., my wife had finally fallen asleep, as we had been agonizing over what to do about our best friend of 14 years. I had earbuds in listening to YouTube, Jobe's head was on my lap, he could no longer lift his head or even wag his tail as cancer had ravaged his body. He looked at me and let out a whimper, and it was at that point that I knew I could not take him in to the vet, and decided that after all the years that he had protected our family, and had been by my side, literally watching out for me through all the years of my crazy adventures, that I owed him to not go through the indignity to carry him into a clinic to die on a cold table.

I decided that I would be the one to take his body, to take his pain away. I administered medication that put him into a deep sleep and eventually respiratory failure and as my sweet sweet Jobe's breathing was slowing down, this song randomly came on YouTube, and I ended up watching it while I held him as he took his last breath.Tears fell out of my eyes, and as I listened to this song and the lyrics, I couldn't help but wonder if the look in his face was "How dare you do this to me", or "Thank you so much for taking my pain away."

I was so touched and torn by the lyrics as I sat on my bedroom floor sobbing, holding my friend.

I listen to this song every day in memory of him, it's on my playlist at my clinic, and even though it brings tears to my eyes almost everytime I hear it, it's simply one of the most moving songs and performances I have ever seen, and I am so thankful that I was introduced to Kodaline at one of the most vulnerable times of my life.

I just re-watched this video 3 times, often rewinding it (antiquated term) because of how impassioned the band and the crowd is, and how it reminds me one of the most perfect souls that graced our lives. I apologize to anyone that accidentally read through this rambling nonsense. It's been almost six months and I have not spoken about what I did to anyone, but I am pretty sure that there are fans that love this song and understand what pure love and loss feels like.

Holy s***, I can't believe I shared that. Sing loudly and passionately my friends, and may we one day hold the ones we have lost, again.
Click to expand...

Chaumi,

I’m crying my eyes out sitting here in bed with Romeo beside me. He has cancer. Little lumps and bumps all over and one huge one on his paw where he had a toe off trying to halt it, but to no avail. He’s on pain killers and seems to cope not too badly, but I have to lift him up and down now. I wish he could tell me what to do, I don’t know if I am being cruel or kind keeping him going.
 
Oh my. You got me going, BJ. And I thought I cried everything I had out last night.

That must be tough beyond words. For both of you.

I guess your instinct is unless he's showing any obvious signs of heavy pain or distress, then the 'right' thing to do is help him have the most comfortable time he can for as long as he can. I suspect that's how most of us might handle it.

But feel for you (and him) mate.
 
I occasionally dream about our family dog, Bula, who died 41 years ago. We have now have a neighbour’s cat who adopted us, Arthur, and whose original owners are totally happy with the arrangement. He’s a moody sod, who often bites me, but I still love him to smithereens. And I will cross a road to stroke a dog. They are just so giving.
 
barjon said:
Chaumi,

I’m crying my eyes out sitting here in bed with Romeo beside me. He has cancer. Little lumps and bumps all over and one huge one on his paw where he had a toe off trying to halt it, but to no avail. He’s on pain killers and seems to cope not too badly, but I have to lift him up and down now. I wish he could tell me what to do, I don’t know if I am being cruel or kind keeping him going.
Click to expand...
My vet (and my late dad) would say it's all about quality of life. If you feel that your pet doesn't have that then it's time to make the hardest decision of all. But if he's still coping OK and the painkillers are doing their job, he's eating, isn't incontinent then you hang on until he isn't.
 
chaumi said:
I lost count of the number of well-educated-looking ladies I went up to at Cheltenham and asked ' you're not JJ by any chance, are you?'

It drew a few looks along the lines of 'who on earth is this idiot?'

But it was worth finding you :)
Click to expand...
On an otherwise sad thread that's got us all blubbing - this is hilarious!
 

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