Punsters - get to work on this

Desert Orchid

Desert Orchid

Senior Jockey
Joined
Aug 2, 2005
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Punsters - I need a bit of help.

I'm not scientific or technically-minded, as you know. A colleague has won a telescope for the school and I'm the editor of the school newspaper.

I'm having difficulty composing a snappy/punny headline for the article.

Can you help?

Thanks in advance.
 
Stars in your eyes winner Mr/s Smith.

Good looking winner.

Star( stellar) performance by Mr/s Bloggs.
 
"School wins Constellation prize"

or if that fails and all you want to do is gain attention try the old;

"Teacher in lesbian sex romp shock" - and then run a story about the telescope
 
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I have asked my boss for help - with the proviso that you (presumably) don't want such comments as "A good view of Uranus ..." - oh yes he would!
 
"School Science Department Has Scope For Improvement as *insert colleagues's name here* Captures Prize."

At least I tried!
 
I thought I posted a reply earlier today but I don't see it (maybe I need a telescope).

I liked Melendez's in the context of forum humour. Unfortunately for some of the others the school newspaper isn't a downmarket red-top (no offence intended as the ideas are great in that context).

mrussell's appealed to me but it would be far too clever for the readership!

Trackside's is probably closest to the general tone of the paper. I'll consider that one very seriously.

Any more?
 
Mine was also the best by virtue of being the only racing-themed headline, as well as the only one that doesn't belong on the front of the Sun (apart from Mel's lame Irish Times-worthy effort).

More seriously, glad to be able to help.
 
How about;

"Double, Double, Toil and Hubble"

- school scope used in black magic orgy shock
 
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How about;

"Desert Orchird posts appreciation on wrong forum shock".

Customers of Final Furlong were left in a state of confusion last night after it emerged that Desert Orchid, 48 from Scotland, having made allegations about the dumbed down content of Talking Horses, then went and posted a thankyou in the wrong forum before claiming he couldn't see it. A bewildered victim of the violated forum who wished to remain anonymous claimed "we were all confused when he thanked someone called Melendez, who doesn't post here. This man is clearly a danger and needs locking up".

See 'the Sun Says' on page 8
 
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