Scousers

jacmac

jacmac

At the Start
Joined
Sep 11, 2004
Messages
47
Location
Bolton
Did anyone else hear the radio report yesterday about the Easjet pilot?

During his flight, high over Merseyside, he decided to add a little humor to the flight by announcing the following;

'we are currently flying over Liverpool, please watch your wallets!!'

Classic.
 
Sit back,relax, and listen to all the popular sloppy bits with your favourite utterly clueless presenters who wouldn't know Mozart from hendrix
 
Am i entitled now to say something along the lines of "we are now flying over London, please ensure all doors and windows are shut so as not to trap peoples fingers?"?
 
If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike.

What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.

What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A burglar.

What do you call a Scouse woman in a white shell-suit?
The bride.

What do you call a Scouser in a suit?
The accused.

Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?

Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.

What do you say to a Scouser with a job?
Big Mac please.
 
A man is rowing accross a lake in Africa on a Saturday afternoon chanting away as he rows "Bongo.....Bongo.....Bongo", at this time, a flying saucer is shooting past the earth and the
aliens spot the man and decide to beam him up to perform some tests.
After the tests are completed they decide to put him back in his boat, "Stop" the leader says, lets see what happens to this human if we remove a quarter of his brain", so the aliens remove
a quarter of the guys brain and beam him back down to his boat, "Lets see what happens to him now" the aliens say.
As the aliens watch, the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, un-nerved by his experience he continues to row accross the lake chanting on his way "Bongo......Bongo......Bongo"
Amazed by this, the aliens beam the man back up to the ship, "How can this happen, he has a quarter of his brain missing, right lets remove half of his brain and see what happens", the aliens
remove half of the mans brain leaving him with just a quarter of his brain left and beam him back down to his boat, "This should do something to him" say the aliens.
Once again, the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, as before un-nerved by his experience he continues to row accross the lake chanting on his way "Bongo......Bongo......Bongo"
This makes the aliens even more confused, "Get him back up here and remove all of his brain" says the alien leader, "This must surely have some effect". So the aliens once again beam the
man back up the ship and completely remove his brain leaving him brainless and then put him back in his boat.
And once again the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, he cannot recall his experience and continues to row across the lake chanting on his way "Ferrry 'cross the Mersey........."
 
God love him. He's trying his best to bait people, just that his best is failing miserably with jokes as old as the Pennines.
 
I bet he is a Mancurion?? its a love hate relationship aint it? :o :lol: but gives the Paddies and us Taffs a break!!! so to speak................ :lol: :lol:

or is he a cousin of Derek Hatton????? :D
 
There are lots of very good comics from liverpool.

Ken Dodd
Jimmy Tarbuck
The one who always tells jokes about the Germans.

They take the piss out of all and sundry and no one takes a fence.

Nor should you,the guy is telling jokes about Liverpudlians.Big deal.

Irish stamp.
the sledging that goes on between WIGAN,LEIGH,WARRINGTON,WIDNES and ST HELENS is stuff that legends are made of.

As the BEE GEES used to sing, It's only words....................

:) :) :)
 
It is quite difficult to reach the standard set by your good selves.

Patience is required. :D
 
It's your perogative to call yourself a Taffe but please don't call us Paddys because that's as racist as calling someone a nigger . Keep your generalisations to yourself and think before you speak because your comment is offensive . Comprende ?
 
And you're entitled to think that my reaction is over the top in your honest opinion but DD what region do you represent ? Seems like Merlin thinks this is important criteria and you obviously want to fit his pidgeonhole .Go on say where you are from so you can be judged :rolleyes:
 
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