Spider Frenzy - Please Help!

OR??????
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...................HE HE :angy:
 
He cant be after cricket - where are his pads?? ( boom boom!! ) No - I am sure Kri is right and its "just" a house spider - but I am goosepimpley just looking at that funnelweb piccy - you can imagine how well I am doing sharing a room with this one!

Merlin - I can cope with tarrantulas - and any spider that is in proportion - ie fat body and thick legs ( a la tarrantula / money spider / any spider up to about 2" diameter as long as it doesnt come towards me.....) so that piccy is quite cute really!! I know my fear of larger ones is completely irrational, but :( !!! I have decided to let sleeping spiders lie - if I see her again I shall get someone to catch her, but as long as I cant see her I can pretend she doesnt really exist........




I think :unsure:
 
The Sydney Funnel-web Spider has a two-skull rating for venom, but this one looks like the Spanish Funnel-web, which has just one. They live mainly in pine forests in W. Andalucia and NW Africa, so it really, really, shouldn't be over here, let alone the Ozzie one, which has a much rounder body, so I doubt it's that, either.

Look, if it runs on long legs and fairly off the ground, is brown and slightly furry looking, it'll be one of ours - maybe the cobweb spider, the common house spider, maybe the yard spider, possibly- if it's got very fine, long legs - the cardinal spider so beloved of surprising people at bath time! They're absolutely harmless and you can play with them without coming to any harm. Yes, fun with spiders! Mister Tickly-Wickly Spikkly-Spiderino! :D

I can't get worried about them: my favourite childhood pastime was playing with beetles and millipedes. At Plumpton, I have to carefully relocate the enormous orb-web spiders which weave their wonderful webs right across the outdoor turnstile. They're pissed off, I know, and I let them hang about the doorway ready to get weaving again once I've gone home. Cute, or what? :)
 
I cant hoover them up at work - I feel mean enough taking their houses !! ( even though I know they will just make more as soon as I go...... )
 
I hate it when I have to get rid of spiders' webs - the poor things have put so much effort into producing them ... and they get rid of the naffing flies!!!

And while we're on the subject of unwanted visitors - just why do I have a cat?? I know he's thirteen but, for goodness sake, he's supposed to remove mice from the household, not catch them outside, bring them in and then let them go!! Have just managed to catch Einstein III in the humane mousetrap and release him at the bottom of the garden ... :angy:
 
It's some psychological thing where he's trying to impress you, Muttley. If only you'd respond by eating the mouse, then he'd realize you accepted him as head of the household. By constantly chucking the rodent outside, he wearily has to go out and hunt it down again and present it back to you. May I suggest chargrilled, with a hint of peri-peri?
 
We've had a few in the house, i mean spiders ,that climb up the wall and around the ceiling and as soon as you touch them they jump kamikaze style to the floor and play dead for a few minutes. Then they're off again up on the ceiling waiting for you to fall asleep.
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Aunty JON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why, oh why, in the name of Jesus H Christ, did you have to broadcast on a forum that I read that there are funnelwebs native to Western Andalucia??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's it.......I'm on the phone right now trying to find out what time the next plane with space for 300 books, 200 dvd's, 200 cd's & a parrot flies back to the UK!!!!!!!!!

Actually...I went to bed at 9.30, straight after work, with the blood completely alcohol free.....then....was sat on the bed, on the phone, & spied a feckin man eating cockroach the size of a cat crawl out from behind my headboard!!!! After emptying half a can of insect killer behind & under the bed, & on top of the bastard thing I ran at a million miles an hour to the fridge to open a blootle of wine!!!!!!!!! Too bloody scared to go back in there now...reckon it's the sofa for me tonight!!!!!!!!!!! :blink: :cry:
 
Feck orf....it was a bloody big cockroach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Afer a bottle & a half of vino, I'm trying to work up te courage to g back in there now.......
 
Lates update is that I am sleeping on the sofabed in the lounge, waiting for my bedroom to be fumigated as it apears to be the only place in the flat that the feckin things go!! Seriously....I spent nearly 3 hours sat on the sofa in my bagpuss pyjamas clutching my cuddly Zippy for dear life and bawling my eyes out a couple of days ago after I was woken at 6.30am by a roach crawling across my shoulder...Jesus, did I ever shite myself or what??!!! :blink: :what: :cry:
 
SL, i see you mentioned both Bagpuss and DVDs now, do you by any chance remembe Bertha (kids TV show about a machine that made lots of products in the factory) and do you have that on DVD?

Absolutely quality and would take anyone's mind of cockroaches, failing that get the vodka out.

Martin
 
Oh right now its very apparent!!!! its the HOOME GOOLIES!!!! EIDERDOWN SPIDER from NOVA SCOTIA? must have been shipped over to the the rock on a boat?.... :lol: :lol:
 
Yes Martin - I remember Bertha!!! Wasn't there a really catchy song theme tune for it??!!! No, I don't have it on DVD I'm afraid.....

:lol:
 
Yep there was. It went:

Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine

Any anyone who works with you will know just what I mean.

Bertha, lovely Bertha, sometimes I thing you're a dream,

When we work out what you have to do,

You can always turn the goods out, always turn the goods out,

We can depend upon you.

Clicking in the day and flashing in the night,

Your computer is shining brightly,

Some people say you've a mind of your own,

And I think that's very likely, likely.

Bertha, lovely Bertha, sometimes I thing you're a dream,

When we work out what you have to do,

You can always turn the goods out, always turn the goods out,

We can depend upon you.




It's also possible to order the Bertha DVD for 4.99. Think that may be done pretty soon.

Martin
 
SPIDER UPDATE.................



Found the SPIDER ( sorry - but she warrants capitals....!! ) on Saturday night again - on the wall watching me decide what to wear Sunday. I managed to get a jug over her, but bottled out as i went to get the cardboard to tip her in - so I took it away ( being careful to leave her on the wall! ) and she raced off at speed - TO ANOTHER ONE OF SIMILAR SIZE :o :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: where they both say , higher on the wall, till my brother came in from his meal and caught them. :)

So - they are both now living outside - I hope they dont mind - the weather has been terrible lately - and my room is a spider-free zone for a while.......
 
Good luck Trudi.....I'm still sleeping on the sofa till those bastard cockroaches are gassed out of my room...... :blink: :cry: This being Gib, the chances of that happening before Christmas are pretty remote!!!!! :blink: :wacko: :cry:
 
Trudi, at least they are both alive. They are both God's creatures and your brother has done the right thing by putting them outside where they will flourish.

You will be smiled on from up above for that act of kindness, let's just hope no one treads on them with their size 11's by accident! B)
 
My cat went to sit under the bird table yesterday. A fat pigeon landed so she made a silent protest. She sorts of opens her mouth and hisses but with no sound, and the pigeon carried on eating, for about 5 mins until he was fit to burst. My cat wandered off still hissing not even looking back. She is truly no use nor ornament.

Saying that, I wouldn't swap her for the world! B)
 
Well done, trudi and bro! Don't worry, the spiders will be fine, and quickly establish a new home in a shed or winkle their way into a crack into a new house... although you MAY find they winkle their way back into yours! Now you know they won't seize you and carry you off to a giant web somewhere, you can relax and enjoy THIS web instead!
 
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