Shadow Leader
At the Start
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2003
- Messages
- 9,884
I like Friends!!!! :shy: :lol:
The Greatest One Liner................
- Thread starter Diminuendo
- Start date
simmo
Senior Jockey
I like the clearly arctic conditions in which Friends was filmed. 
Shadow Leader
At the Start
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2003
- Messages
- 9,884
I bet you are Simmo!!
Euronymous
Senior Jockey
I`ve heard that wont be till next year Dave. Six or eight left i think. In the past i`ve followed a strict schedule with my Sopranos viewing, i`d record a series when it was shown on Ch/E4 then when it had finished, i`d watch the whole of the previous seaon on DVD and then tuck into the latest one. This means i haven`t seen any Sopranos since the end of october 2004. And even then i took the decision to not watch the last two episodes of season 5. Still haven`t, even though i`ve had it on DVD for a year or so.
cricketfan
At the Start
From Blackadder III.
Prince George: Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.
Prince George: Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.
rorydelargy
At the Start
What exactly has Peter Kay done wrong?
Euronymous
Senior Jockey
Nothing, but his brand of humour is very easy to do in comparison to someone like Bill Hicks or even Bill Bailey. It`s just observational humour. Phoenix Nights was ace, but his stand-up is average at best.
There is a talent in observational humour that the whole family appreciates. I dont think Peter Kay is the greatest ever and I think the Garlic Bread quote is next or near funny, not to mind the best ever. Not everyone appreciates the Dave Gorman, Larry David, Bill Hicks etc.
I think Kay has just about retired after Pheonix Nights and his grand national piece with Sue Barker. Max and Paddy was desperate and lacked in effort. I'd probably have Alan Partridge close to the top of any one-liner list, but Cricketfan's post above is brilliant...
I think Kay has just about retired after Pheonix Nights and his grand national piece with Sue Barker. Max and Paddy was desperate and lacked in effort. I'd probably have Alan Partridge close to the top of any one-liner list, but Cricketfan's post above is brilliant...
simmo
Senior Jockey
I was searching the interweb for a specific Bill Hicks quote and came upon this instead...
Have you ever taken a moment in your life to pause and ponder the tragic plight of the turd? The poor, too oft overlooked, no-tear-shed-for turd?
blah blah blah, life of a turd bit in the middle....
And just as he thinks that, a tube sucks him up, through miles of hose, and sprays him screaming into the mouth of none other than Dick Cheney.
Sure, you scream, but your breathy cries are lost amongst the Hutt-like laughter of Mr. Vice President, Dick fucking Cheney. And while bits of you fly through the air, or simply fall out of his mouth and roll down his chin with each, Cheney slowly walks into the oval office, swallows you down, and then regurgitates you into George W's yipping mouth like a bird feeding it's young. For although the President feeds on the blood of children, gays, and unwed mothers, nothing satisfies that ancient hunger within him like the regurgitated excrement of red-blooded Americans which he can bite, chew, and process into a grey, paste-like substance that will later make its way up into the brain-cavity to take over the responsibilities of running the free world, you shit-for-brains cocksucking **** you.
Have you ever taken a moment in your life to pause and ponder the tragic plight of the turd? The poor, too oft overlooked, no-tear-shed-for turd?
blah blah blah, life of a turd bit in the middle....
And just as he thinks that, a tube sucks him up, through miles of hose, and sprays him screaming into the mouth of none other than Dick Cheney.
Sure, you scream, but your breathy cries are lost amongst the Hutt-like laughter of Mr. Vice President, Dick fucking Cheney. And while bits of you fly through the air, or simply fall out of his mouth and roll down his chin with each, Cheney slowly walks into the oval office, swallows you down, and then regurgitates you into George W's yipping mouth like a bird feeding it's young. For although the President feeds on the blood of children, gays, and unwed mothers, nothing satisfies that ancient hunger within him like the regurgitated excrement of red-blooded Americans which he can bite, chew, and process into a grey, paste-like substance that will later make its way up into the brain-cavity to take over the responsibilities of running the free world, you shit-for-brains cocksucking **** you.
A few bits from wikiquote from my current favourite show Peep Show, not really the one liner variety:
Jeremy (Interview for a filer type job): Eh, I've done quite a lot actually, I mean not formal filing, but you know, alphabetabecising the videos, doing the spices, I suppose what I'd want to do is build on that experience in a professional... zone, SPHERE. I meant, sphere.
Jeremy: [Discussing politicians with Mark and Alan] ...What I mean is that they should be more honest. I mean, at least Tony Addams from the IRA, he's like "Yeah, I shoot people, I like shooting people!" I mean, if they were more honest, then maybe people would vote and not switch straight over when the news comes on.
Jez: Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers.
Mark: Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can't face reality.
Jeremy: No Mark. I only told you for a laugh. You promised not to tell.
Mark: Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, Jeremy. Welcome to the real world!
Jeremy: But you said... what about your mum's life?
Mark: What does that even mean!? What are you going to do, KILL her!?
Jeremy (Interview for a filer type job): Eh, I've done quite a lot actually, I mean not formal filing, but you know, alphabetabecising the videos, doing the spices, I suppose what I'd want to do is build on that experience in a professional... zone, SPHERE. I meant, sphere.
Jeremy: [Discussing politicians with Mark and Alan] ...What I mean is that they should be more honest. I mean, at least Tony Addams from the IRA, he's like "Yeah, I shoot people, I like shooting people!" I mean, if they were more honest, then maybe people would vote and not switch straight over when the news comes on.
Jez: Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers.
Mark: Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can't face reality.
Jeremy: No Mark. I only told you for a laugh. You promised not to tell.
Mark: Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, Jeremy. Welcome to the real world!
Jeremy: But you said... what about your mum's life?
Mark: What does that even mean!? What are you going to do, KILL her!?
trudij
Senior Jockey
Ive just watched an episode of Dinnerladies ( cue you men groaning!!) and Id forgotten how clever Victoria Wood is - her stand up is fab, and conversations like...
Tony; Cant have pregnant ladies out on their own
Bren; Whos pregnant?
Tony; You are arent you??
Bren; Not unless sperm can get in through a sash window.....
I know its gentle, but makes me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony; Cant have pregnant ladies out on their own
Bren; Whos pregnant?
Tony; You are arent you??
Bren; Not unless sperm can get in through a sash window.....
I know its gentle, but makes me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Muttley
At the Start
I love it, too, Trudi - largely because it is gentle (as well as clever)
It's an 'age thing' Dom! We wrinklies can't see it...
Most of what's been quoted here doesnt qualify as 'one-liners' to me; it's not just aobut a single phrase there needs to be real wit and bite. The queen of the one-liner was Dorothy Parker, eg "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."