Oh, I had quite a brilliant mental image there for a while! The only time I inserted myself into a hedge was when, stone cold sober, I put rollerskates on for the first time (well into my 30s) and went very gently off down a narrow sloping lane. I held onto the hedgerow inch by inch until the skates just took off and away I went, howling for my pal, who was supposed to be 'on hand' but was peeing herself with laughter by then. Wheeee... and then the inevitable abrupt introduction, face first, into a dry, prickly old hedge, where I clung on as if to let go meant certain death. When she'd recovered herself, the traitorous bint came back to help get the skates off and walk me back home in my socks.
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